As a straight man I really have nothing to gain by standing up for equal rights for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexual, and/or my Transgender friends. Except for the fact that I have many friends who are still subjected to hurtful comments by a society that hasn’t yet embraced fully the nature of… nature.
Supporting a limiting system of rules for specific people to follow is prejudice. It’s the Antithesis of Christ Consciousness and (like smoking) it’s Soooo last century.
Allowing love to freely flourish will only enhance the life experience – For All.
Toward the end, he makes a salient point about how important it is for those who aren’t directly affected by this issue of civil rights and justice to plug in and speak up:
I understand many people who stumble onto this blog are already dialed in and ready to transform the world. Much of my community is too. But there are some who still don’t care one way or the other about the ways of being in the world. Thereby, it’s up to us to share our positive outlook on our favorite issues.
That’s the key, really. The more that we can encourage our friends and families to make like a Diane Savino and speak, the closer we’ll be to a place where LGBT equality is a foregone conclusion and the voices of hatred are not silenced (because this is the United States, of course), but are so marginalized as to be rendered irrelevant.
Read the whole thing.
In other news, I had a love affair with this Jason Mraz song a few years ago, so I think I’ll post it.
UPDATE: Egad, most of the comments over there are pro-equality and pro-humanity, but there are a few backwards fools in there. I’m trying to set them straight as long as I have patience, but any of you who want to go lay the smack down, be my guest.
While 2009 will be remembered for the worldwide economic recession, for the ex-gay industry, it will be known as The Great Moral Depression. It was a dreadful year for such programs, as they showed themselves to be a global menace run by reprobates, such as Exodus’ Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers, who combined a dangerous dose of arrogance and incompetence. Much like the Roman Catholic Church, these men ignored a credible allegation of abuse for more than six months and engaged in a dangerous game of denial.
Whatever shard of credibility this industry had was stripped away in 2009. It was a year where such programs were harshly rebuked by the mental health establishment. An important new study showed that their retrograde methods of shame and blame harmed LGBT people. The old, outdated research that they stubbornly latched onto for dear life seemed to betray them and then vanish into thin air.
Several “ex-gay” heroes turned out to be zeros and slithered away into the mist. The past 12 months, if anything, unmasked the facade of “love” this industry cynically showers on potential clients and an often gullible media. In 2009, the world saw ex-gay programs for what they are: A sugar coated excuse for homophobia.
Exodus was revealed as a front for international hate groups, who used the group’s credulous leaders as pawns in an international struggle for theocracy. PFOX stepped forward and showed, time and again, that it was just plain nuts.
NARTH put out an embarrassingly shoddy “study” that was so pathetic it was virtually ignored by the media. By the end of 2009, NARTH had solidified its place as a cabal of embittered and irrelevant quacks on the far outer fringes of psychology. Homosexuals Anonymous was, well, anonymous. The Catholic ex-gay group Courage also had a meager profile and had little impact on popular culture. And, JONAH, the Jewish ex-gay group, continued to humiliate itself through its affiliation with crackpot Born Again sexual reorientation coach Richard Cohen.
May 2010 bring the same abundance of truth and light regarding the ex-gay fraud we had in 2009. Here are the Top 10 ex-gay related stories of the year. Please feel free to comment on any major items I may have missed.
10) The Passing of The Old Guard
Focus on the Family co-founder James Dobson announced that he was stepping down. He was an arch-homophobe who once claimed allowing gay people to marry would end the earth. Under Dobson’s leadership, this mega-ministry started the ex-gay roadshow Love Won Out. Dobson’s retirement represents the winding down of the old guard. This includes the passing of other ex-gay proponents or anti-gay preachers such as Rev. Jerry Falwell, D. James Kennedy and Oral Roberts. A new generation of Evangelicals will hopefully join the reality-based community and break with the past. However, there is reason to be skeptical, considering the leader of the pack is Rick Warren, who isn’t too much better than his predecessors.
9) The Fizzling Out of Michael Glatze and Stephen Bennett
Michael Glatze (left) was formerly co-editor of XY Magazine and YGA Magazine, publications directed at LGBT youth. He and his partner of ten years, Benjie Nycum, also co-authored the book XY Survival Guide.
Glatze’s ventures went belly-up and he seemed to disappear from LGBT activism. He reemerged in July 2007 with a disgusting op-ed on the extremist website WorldNetDaily, where he announced he was “ex-gay” (although he had no experience with women)
Glatze alleged sexual conversion seems, in part, to have come from a sort-of nervous breakdown. He reported that he suffered from frequent panic attacks and that he obsessed about death.
In late September, Glatze contacted me, hoping that I would interview him and reinvigorate his flagging career as an “ex-gay”. I refused to oblige his publicity stunt, and so did LGBT advocates at other sites.
Glatze’s downfall came when he opened an incoherent vanity blog and wrote:
“Have I mentioned lately how utterly *disgusting* Obama is? And, yes, it’s because he’s black. God, help us all….It’s a shame Obama is black. He could end up setting back race relations decades.”
Condemned for his idiotic comment about President Obama, Glatze sent out a rambling e-mail announcing his career as an ex-gay spokesperson had fizzled and he was retiring. Chalk Glatze up to a pitiful flash in the pan.
Similarly, 2009 was the year that big haired ex-gay activist Stephen Bennett (left) completely vanished from the scene. And, Anthony Falzarano’s (founder of PFOX) attempted return to the spotlight also petered out.
8) The Lisa Miller Kidnapping and Abduction Case
Lisa Miller broke up with partner Janet Jenkins (Right) after becoming a born again “ex-gay”. In a fit of holier-than-thou zeal, Miller went on the lam and absconded from Vermont with their child, Isabella, that the couple was raising together after having a Civil Union.
As a result of Miller’s poor parenting and criminal behavior (she was cited for contempt of court), a Vermont court transferred custody to Jenkins (after a five year legal ordeal that will surely leave emotional scars on their child Isabella) and refused a motion to delay transfer, as requested by Miller’s law team.
People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch reports that the location of Miller and 7-year-old Isabella Miller are presently “unknown”. This is highly problematic because the court order takes effect on New Year’s Day.
Janet Jenkins filed a missing person report in Virginia on Wednesday in hopes of finding her 7-year-old daughter, according to her lawyer. Unfortunately, Miller’s outlaw behavior has been cheered on by ex-gay activists who want to pretend they are martyrs, rather than criminal miscreants.
7) The Caitlin Ryan Study
The January 2009 issue of Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics reported on a new study by San Francisco State researcher Caitlin Ryan. Her research concluded that, “Teens who experienced negative feedback (when they came out as LGBT) were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use.”
This definitive study was hugely important because it contradicted the claim by “ex-gay” activists that homosexuality was the root cause of such problems. Indeed, it was ex-gay programs – the epitome of negative feedback – that led to the destruction of LGBT people.
Exodus International officially cut ties with its Lansing affiliate Corduroy Stone after charges were made by an ex-gay survivor that the sessions included harmful and bizarre therapy.
In August, Patrick McAlvey made the charges against Corduroy Stone’s Mike Jones in a Truth Wins Out video. At the age of 19, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to change, he placed his trust in Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained of Jones’ therapy. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore.
He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
Tragically, it took Exodus until December to take action and cut ties with this renegade ministry. Exodus’ dithering in the face of scandal cost precious time and may have placed additional youth in harm’s way. This was a key episode in 2009 because it underscored how Exodus has little control over its satellite ministries and each one is an independent fiefdom with its own rules and techniques. Exodus is no more than a Wild West and an unprofessional hodgepodge of fundamentalist pop-psychology combined with spiritual warfare and efforts to pray away the gay.
5) Ex-Gay Charlatan Matthew C. Manning Unmasked As A Fraud
A report by the website, “Ex-Gay Watch” cast a dark cloud of skepticism over “ex-gay” activist Matthew Manning’s tale of being “delivered” from homosexuality and AIDS. According to the report, Manning has been repeatedly dragged into court for allegations of inappropriate behavior and was even banned from a popular gym after improper sexual advances were made on a 22-year-old heterosexual male. Manning, a frequent television guest and the founder of Lighthouse World Evangelism Inc., based in Santa Rosa, California, has yet to comment on the allegations made in the investigative report.
After suffering through the pro-kidnap propaganda unleashed yesterday by ex-gay activist Debbie Thurman, it’s refreshing today to receive some hard facts — albeit sad ones.
Janet Jenkins filed a missing person report in Virginia on Wednesday in hopes of finding her 7-year-old daughter, according to her lawyer.
But it remains to be seen whether she will take custody of her nonbiological child Friday when a court order requiring her former lesbian partner, Lisa Miller, to transfer custody of the child takes effect.
“She hasn’t complied with the court’s orders up to this point. I don’t know why she would now,” said Sarah Star, a Middlebury lawyer representing Jenkins.
The newspaper confirms that the Christian Right’s Liberty Counsel knew “for some time” that Miller had absconded with the child and apparently failed to notify authorities.
However, the Herald also reports:
…Police in Falls Church and Fairfax County in Virginia said they had no record of a missing person report for Isabella or of a report filed by Jenkins.”
“I don’t know what we could do at this point anyway,” Fairfax County police spokeswoman Tawny Wright said. “If she’s still in the legal custody of her mom down here, then she’s not missing.”
Normally, a state such as Virginia is required to honor the family laws of the state which has jurisdiction over a family — in this case, Vermont. But in Virginia, Christian fundamentalists assert that their state’s antigay laws preclude cooperation with the enforcement orders of states whose laws do not comply with their own state’s legislated religion-based bigotry.
The Herald continues:
But University of Richmond Constitutional law professor Carl Tobias said he believes Virginia will enforce the Vermont court’s ruling in accordance with the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdictional Act – an agreement recognized by every state to enforce each other’s child custody orders.
“I think the judiciary down here is very aware of the Vermont court’s order,” Tobias said. “My sense is there’s not a lot of patience down here for additional appeals. The length of time this case has encompassed has been extraordinary. I think you will see Virginia judges treat (same-sex) cases like heterosexual cases and I think they will be more than willing to enforce them. The system doesn’t work if people don’t comply with court orders. I think judges take that seriously.”
Whether Miller will be located and jailed for contempt of court, or prosecuted and imprisoned for apparent kidnapping — legally speaking, a felony charge of “custodial interference” with a potential 5-year jail sentence – remains to be seen.
No, not for movies or whatever, but (I think?) those are coming soon.*
Peter LaBarbera has been nominating people for his inaugural “Gay Grinch” award**. He’s picked all kinds of people, like our own Wayne Besen, some couple in California whose Halloween decorations aren’t to Pete’s liking, Rachel Maddow…just, you know, random people who have messed with Peter’s mind over the past year. Or whenever. The meaning of the Grinch reference isn’t clear, unless, in Peter’s mind, it’s actually the gays who have stolen Christmas. Anyway, it’s boring, who cares?
The point is that Joe Jervis (another Grinch nominee) is having his own contest, and unlike The Peter, Joe believes in deciding the winner democratically, so here are your choices for the Anti-Gay Douchebag Bigot of 2009:
Bishop Richard Malone
Carrie Prejean
Harry Jackson Jr.
Maggie Gallagher
Matt Barber
Peter LaBarbera
Pope Benedict XVI
Tony Perkins
Now, they’re all fame-seeking malcontents, obviously (especially Ratzi), so we don’t really want to encourage them, but this is funny, so GO VOTE.
*I know, I know, I need to turn in my gay card and be put on probation.
**Ceremony to be held at some hitherto unannounced bathhouse/leather convention, I presume. Stay tuned, I guess?
Last month, the New York Senate tried and failed to bring equal marriage rights to the citizens of New York. If you don’t remember, things went south when eight cowardly Democrats betrayed their caucus and joined the Republicans in defeating the bill. One of those Democrats was Senator Hiram Monserrate of Queens, who, before his vote, had become notorious for being charged with “slashing his girlfriend Karla Giraldo in the face with a broken glass.” Continued:
Monserrate was found guilty of the lesser charge of third-degree assault for dragging a bleeding Giraldo down the hallway of their building after the alleged attack. That charge is only a misdemeanor so the lawmaker will be able to keep his seat in Albany.
Despite initially claiming Monserrate attacked her, Giraldo had refused to cooperate with the prosecution in the case.
So why am I bringing this up? Well, it seems that a group calling itself the “Coalition for Morality” has been dispersing these flyers in support of Senator Monserrate:
Classy again! So who are the generically branded “Coalition for Morality”? We don’t quite know. My Googling has come up dry, and the others who have reported this have had similar results. For all we know, Monserrate could have printed them up himself!
But I do know this: This little flyer is revelatory of the worldview which seeks to deny equality to the LGBT community. It may seem abhorrent to people with any semblance of a moral compass that a man caught assaulting a woman on camera could be held up as a paragon of morality, but it really shouldn’t be surprising. There are indeed many conservative religious people out there who hit the fainting couch over two consenting adults of the same gender falling in love, but at the same time really don’t mind the idea of abusing women. I mean, let’s get real here. Respected conservative “thinkers” have penned pieces as recently as last year which seem to support the idea that marital rape doesn’t exist! (Dennis Prager, I’m looking at you.)
So there you have it. According to some people, Hiram Monserrate, abuser of women, can claim moral authority over gay people who choose to live our lives with integrity.
2010: Figuratively if not factually, it’s the dawn of a new decade.
What resolutions should Exodus International and Focus on the Family make for the new decade, assuming they stay true to “Christian” or “American” values?
Please give us your ideas TODAY — winners to be included in an article tomorrow.
Ugandan tabloid Red Pepper, which is regarded by some Ugandans as a pawn of President Yoweri Museveni, today initiated a new witchhunt against presumed enemies of the Museveni administration and antigay megapreacher Martin Ssempa.
According to Box Turtle Bulletin, the tabloid accused numerous individuals, without evidence, of funding human-rights advocates whom the tabloid describes as “homos.” The tabloid provided the individuals’ home addresses and places of employment, and places where the individuals were likely to be found.
The effort by Red Pepper to promote vigilantism and the myth of homosexual colonialism comes despite an ongoing refusal among the Ugandan news media to investigate and identify the U.S. “colonialists” who have bankrolled Museveni, his “ethics” secretary David Bahati, Ssempa, ex-gay activist Stephen Langa, and other supporters of authoritarian government, vigilantism, genocide, and theocracy.
Despite verbal criticism of Uganda’s antigay genocide campaign by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, U.S. aid continues unimpeded to Museveni and evangelical abstinence-only programs.
Fittingly, those who oppose equal marriage rights in California do not want a Jan. 11 federal trial on the issue televised. This is because they are subconsciously ashamed of their backward views and don’t want to be seen publicly as the bigots that they truly are.
In the deep recesses of their hardened hearts, they understand what they are doing is immoral, despicable and discriminatory. Yet, because of misplaced religious beliefs and a compulsive need to impose their worldview on others, these embarrassed souls continue to push prejudice.
The lame excuse given for such moral cowardice is that TV coverage might expose witnesses and other trial participants to harassment and intimidation. According to The San Francisco Chronicle, backers of Proposition 8 said in a court filing Monday that some of their witnesses “have indicated that they would not be willing to testify” if the trial was televised.
This is nonsense. Unlike the assassination of abortion providers, there has been no similar precedent set by LGBT activists. Homophobes have been free to express their vulgar views without fear of reprisals. Furthermore, LGBT people have the strength and fortitude to come out of the closet every day. Proposition 8 supporters should have the same backbone and openly state their beliefs in the light of day.
Of course, once those views are known, people may choose not to associate with such bigots. However, this is really no different than fundamentalists who choose not to frequent shops or restaurants owned and operated by those who openly opposed Proposition 8.
It is time to shine a big, bright spotlight on those who have transformed hatred of their neighbors into a disfigured political philosophy. The reason they oppose sunshine is because their lies and fear-mongering can only succeed in the wicked and seedy back alleys of moral and spiritual darkness.
One of the many moral failings of the Christian Right is their frequent inability to apologize, authentically, for wrongdoing. Some examples quickly come to mind:
Exodus International has never apologized for the involuntary detention and abuse of underage youths at its Love In Action live-in program in Tennessee, nor for its co-sponsorship of the current Uganda antigay genocide campaign, nor for its defamations against antibullying activist Kevin Jennings and its defense of violent hate crimes as valid expressions of thought and speech.
The Liberty Counsel has not apologized for its incompetent legal representation of “ex-gay” poster mom Lisa Miller, nor for its failed efforts to silence critics of ex-gay movement wrongdoing with frivolous cease-and-desist letters.
And Jerry Falwell famously said he was sorry not for committing grievous wrongdoing (which he did commit, routinely) but rather for the fact that others’ feelings were hurt when he wronged them.
There are several potential reasons for the Christian Right’s amorality and impenitence:
Megalomania: A false assumption that they are superior to others, grandiose, omnipotent
Narcissistic personality disorder: An extreme preoccupation with one’s own subjective perceptions and desires, often as if they were absolutes. Such people may reject objective criticism, disrespect others’ perceptions and desires, pursue selfish goals, and project their selfishness onto a higher power (such as God) in order to confer false humility and divine obedience upon their motives.
Lack of socialization: A failure to heed basic social courtesies and protocols, such as addressing someone by name or title, requesting permission to be excused, refraining from interrupting a speaker — or failing to understand what an apology is.
Just in case Exodus, Miller, the Liberty Counsel, or others ever offer an apology in the future, I recommend that they immediately be required to document the authenticity of their “apology.”
Bill Beloit of the University of Missouri and Jon Hess of the University of Dayton, both experts in communication and rhetoric, define the following components of an effective apology:
Admit guilt: Often, a public apology starts with an admission of guilt, but it’s followed immediately by an attack upon critics, not accepting blame, and by minimizing or even denying what the offender did or shifting the blame to someone else.
Show remorse: Feeling bad is the difference between empathy and indifference
Change behavior: One’s intentions may be called into question if the offense is repeated.
Attempt to right the wrong: Undo the harm or compensate the wronged individual(s).
Listen: Genuine listening to the other person, either before or after the apology, can help the offender better understand the effects of the offense.
Source: University of Dayton Magazine, Autumn 2009
After suffering through the 
