I don’t want to overstate the importance of a one-line Facebook status entry — I’ve occasionally said things on Facebook that I regretted — but I found the following ex-gay Facebook entry deeply disturbing today.
Charlene E Hios is wondering if we realize that homosexuality is a judgment of God upon the human race because we have exchanged the Glory of God for images such as ourselves!
Hios is the operator of Bridging the Gaps Ministries in California. She claims to be a former lesbian, but she reports little if any attraction to men and she is not very forthcoming about her ongoing attraction to women.
Hios has in recent months used her “ministry” to promote Proposition 8 by wagging her finger against California gay couples who wish to marry — dictating, at various times, that she and other Christians know God’s will better than the couples do, and insinuating that conservative Christian voters are somehow more qualified than liberals or people of other faiths to decide who is entitled to marry under civil law.
Hios is sincere in her beliefs, but deeply deluded — not only about her artificial ex-lesbian “identity” and her ignorance of the Bible, but also about her moral fitness to judge others and to make laws that will make others as unhappy and alone as she — unfortunately — seems to be.
Is it possible that Hios is so consumed by her own sexual struggles that she has exchanged the glory of God for her own image? Is it possible that the ex-gay movement strangles human generosity and love toward other people by crippling its adherents with obsessive preoccupation over their own minor problems?
Hey Michael;
There are just a few corrections but I only have time for one at the moment:
I am not affilated with Exodus Ministries.
Good Night!
Hey again Michael;
One day the pastor’s wife from my church in Las Vegas told me that she and her husband would swear out an A.D. for me stating that when I came to their church I was indeed a lesbian. I did not understand why they thought they would need to do that until I started reading statements from the gay community denouncing that I was never a lesbian . . . so funny . . . being told or it being implied that I probally never was a lesbian . . . in my upcoming book entitled “Lesbian No More: One Woman’s Life-Changing Experience” I am actually thinking about having sworn statements from some of my girlfriends . . . enjoy the day . . . good day
“Charlene E Hios is wondering if we realize that homosexuality is a judgment of God upon the human race because we have exchanged the Glory of God for images such as ourselves!” –Charlene E. Hios.–
Charlene, let me ask you this: If we are all created in God’s image and his creations are perfect, then why would he create some of us to be who we are and then hate what he himself has created?
I really don’t look on my gayness as a sickness; a thing to be cured. Nor do I look on it as some sort of “religious retribution’ for any wrong doing on my part or my parents part. I see it as something natural and wholesome to me, at least. What you fail to understand is that some of us have tried the “straight and narrow” path…to “pray away the gay” and some of us even went as far as to get married and play house…all in the name to please the Fundamentalist Right Wing notion that “gay is not the way”. It didn’t work out for them and it only ended up devastating a whole lot of people that were just the innocent pawns in a sick, twisted religious game.
Charlene, the point is this: So what if these people want to get married to some one of the same gender.That is THEIR decision, not YOURS! What gives you the right to decide? So what if you are no longer a lesbian” GREAT…FINE! However, you feel that it is necessary to deny those, who have been in long term MONOGAMOUS relationships. the right to solidify that relationship and enjoy the benefits of a marriage solely based on your convictions? Who are we hurting here? Answer me that!
And you know what is really sad is the part that some in our community have and are raising CHILDREN(from either prior HETEROSEXUAL relationships or through artificial means)and you would be,in essence DENYING these children the security and stability that a marriage could bring to that home environment. That’s like taking candy from a baby! What next, after you deny us marriage you going to write a book about how gays and lesbians are unfit as parents so that legislation can be drawn up to have our kids removed from the homes? I’d just rather shoot you than let you drag my kid out of my home!
Charlene is my “friend” on facebook. In all my life I’ve seen very few cases of such an obviously repressed lesbian living asexually. Homophobia comes from fear of one’s on sexuality, Charlene — as ANY therapist of any kind.
Charlene, no one here has said you weren’t lesbian. I have little doubt that you were — and are.
The fact that you are sexually inactive and that you put away sexual or romantic thoughts does not change your orientation. As I’ve said, there are many celibate gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual people. Orientation is not defined by one’s behavior or one’s ideology.
I would like to correct at least one point of my original article, which was written over a year ago.
Charlene, you are kinder than many ex-gay activists. I give you credit for that.
Best,
Mike
Hey folks;
Just read the most recent posts on here. So much I would like to say. Not sure yet how to verbalize it yet. I trust you all have an awesome and wonderful day.
Thanks Michael, I really am trying to bridge gaps between all off us, many do disagree with me, but geesh . . . some of the hate that is being thrown at me is so heart breaking . . . many post things about me to all of their friends’ list on facebook and they do not even know me, how do they know that what is said is truth, all they have to do is send me a facebook message and ask me if it is true.
Wendy Leigh has been posting some pretty harsh things about me that are not true and is telling lies about me. She and I had some dialog going on but they boom she just lashed out at me . . .telling lies . . .
I already have contacted facebook and am following their guidelines on reporting all the lies and slander against me.
But you know that is not me, yes I do say things on my wall that are hard for a lot of folks to stomach yet they are my thoughts and they are what I believe.
I do not strike out at people who do not have my believes and tell lies about them . ..
Yes we all have different beliefs . . .but can we cut out the hate . . .?
I really do care about all of you regardless of what you might think or regardless of what you have been told . . .
Yes I do join LGBTQI pages just as many of you join pages of groups you want to see what is being said . . . yes I do invite people to be my friends when I see they post something that is of interest to me or something that catches my eye . . . I go to these fb pages and to places like here on TWO to learn what are the thoughts . . . and yes I do add my thoughts as well . . . but it is not to be hateful . .. it is to try and understand why we both can see the same thing and yet see if so differently . . .
Again, please know I am not hateful, I am trying to understand . . . how can I bridge the gaps if I do not understand what is causing the gaps to start with . ..
I appreciate the softer interaction with folks like Michael A and Michael B . . . I appreciate Ray’s thoughts and sometimes his intensity . . . . I disagree very much with Wayne and things he has shared with me via emails . .. but isn’t that what is needed to bridge all these gaps . . . we need to talk and be truthful with each other . .. yet . . . can we stop with the hateful comments and can we stop with telling lies about me?
Again, I appreciate being able to make comments here and I do appreciate the dialog . . .
I trust you each have a blessed day.
Please talk with me . . .
I really do love all of you whether you believe it or not.
Take care now
Charlene
Charlene, the people that wrote the bible were motivated by hate to express the desire to kill gay people. Even if you do not feel hate yourself you are promoting that same hatred by spreading the anti-gay parts of the bible.
Priya Lynn, you say, “the people that wrote the bible were motivated by hate to express the desire to kill gay people.”
I don’t think so. At least, not a hatred of people. More probably, they were motivated by a lack of true understanding of sexual nature, a gut feeling that something was deviant, without the factual information to help them see otherwise.
Also, in some areas, they were motivated by health issues (along with prohibitions on eating various foods).
At times, they were motivated by a desire to curtail some practices of the time, such as male temple prostitution, which were wrong-minded and detrimental, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
You are right, though, the Bible was written by human beings, sometimes fallable even when well-intentioned. From my personal experience with scripture, I believe they got a lot of God’s and Jesus’ messages right, even though they weren’t always on target.
The worse problem, in my opinion, comes from people today who refuse to read and interpret those scriptures in light of their cultural context, or even to consider the fact that the word “homosexual” is a modern word that was not written in the original text. Translations were modified by interpretation.
Others refuse to acknowledge that much of New Testament teaching sheds light on the human problem of adhering to the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law. That there are varying levels of what human beings can handle without feeling separated from God.
And finally, modern people are somehow blinded to the fact that, while Jesus said nothing whatsoever about homosexuality, he had tons to say about those who stand in judgement and condemnation over others.
Chris, there is no god. The people who wrote the bible made up a story that it was the word of a god. The did this to add authority to their own bigotry and agenda. They wrote the anti-gay parts of the bible for the same reasons people are anti-gay today – ewww, gays are icky. The ideas that it was due to a lack of understanding of sexuality or health issues is just an excuse for what its really about.
I think the truth is probably somewhere in between those last two comments.
No, Charlene, you are the one lying in claiming that Wendy Leigh just suddenly “lashed out” at you, and you’re again attempting to make yourself the martyred victim at her expense by trying to smear her here on TWO. She told the truth about you. You are not getting away with maligning Wendy–an amazing activist, a woman who has done a thousand-fold more to stop the pending atrocity in Uganda than you would ever consider doing–when I’m here to correct you and to defend her: I read the back-and-forth between you, and I know what was said. I’ll be sure to tell her what you’re doing. Why don’t you put your energy into stopping the conflagration that people like you helped to create in Uganda?
this women is a menace to young gay kids who are trying to find their way in the world, and she hovers around groups that attract such kids on Facebook. She is bad news. Keep an eye on her, she’s a danger to herself and others. She is not totally compos mintos. Now she will probably leave a long comment about how she’s going to sue me for libel and slander. This is who this woman is, folks. We have kept an eye on her on FB and we report her as necessary.
kp
p.s. I’m referring of course to CHARLENE HIOS and not my good friend Sandra, who like me, keeps a close eye on this person. Along with several dozen others of us.
kp
BTW, you can see Charlene “in action” on this youTube video in which she talks about her 18 years as a lesbian, with many different partners. Where does the “non-lesbian” part come in? ask her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqaAzhrbRQ0
and honey, Gloria Allred is on my speed dial.
kp
Charlene isn’t out to promote hate, yet she felt the need to enshrine discrimination against gay people in the California Constitution. That is quite the disconnect. Fix the damage before looking my way for a bridge.
“Yes I do join LGBTQI pages just as many of you join pages of groups you want to see what is being said . . . yes I do invite people to be my friends when I see they post something that is of interest to me or something that catches my eye . . . I go to these fb pages and to places like here on TWO to learn what are the thoughts . . . and yes I do add my thoughts as well . . . but it is not to be hateful . .. it is to try and understand why we both can see the same thing and yet see if so differently . .”
This is a confession, of exactly what I said about you, and FB knows it and the rest of us defenders of GLBT youths. Stay away from them.
hey Wendy! This is not a confession. I spoke a truth. You called me a pedifile! That is why I reported you to facebook! Not because you said I visited gay facebook pages.
there would be a lot less problems for the youth of today if everyone stayed out of the schools and just allowed the teachers to teach them reading, writing, history, math, spelling, english, languages, and civics.
Everyone needs to step away from the school system and stop trying to push their agenda upon innocent children . . .
again, schools, I speak only of K-12, need to teach the basics: math,science,languages, history, government, reading, writing, grammar, spelling . . .
Hey, Charlene, everybody stayed out of the schools when I was in them, and I never got to hear a word about gay people, our history, that gay relationships are as good as hetero ones, or any of the examples of gay people who had made the world a better place, or just been the great men and women of history. It was all “whitewashed” so evangelical (second rate) Christians would feel “comfortable”.
And I got to feel alone, isolated, and like a freak.
Understand this, and understand it NOW. NEVER AGAIN.
We WILL be in schools, and we will speak the truth. The Truth stands on its own, and that is why people in this society, and around the world, when they get to see the truth, but it, and NOT your ex gay fairy tales. I know. I endured all that also at one point in my life.
You want to “build Bridges”? Great. Undo the damage you have done, become and honest person with yourself, and if you still (hopefully, I say, as i am a man of faith myself) want to worship God, find your way to a Lutheran, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ, welcoming Methodist, Metropolitan, Episcopal, or one of the many other churches that will welcome you as you are, were made by God, and will alway be; a lesbian. You get the benefit of better theology and no literal fundamentalist also. A win win for you, and no damage to other people.
There will be no “brige building” with someone trying to tear down my house on my side of the canyon by working to destroy the legal recognitions of my relationship.
By the way, I was going to be taking a vacation in three weeks. I just canceled it. THe money will go to the local gay and lesbian youth center in your honor, and I will be meeting with several friends and clients who work in local schools as teachers and administrators to discuss how to make the schools more welcoming.
If nothing else, you certainly do inspire me to activism.
Find a higher quality church. Or at least stop inflicting your problems on others.
( a mea culpa for the bad spelling…I was typing in a rage while contacting delta and hotels to cancel tickets. In particular, I meant to say ‘buy it’ not
but it’), and fundamenalism, not literal fundamentalist, and bridge, not drige.
Now, I need to contact the local youth center, and return a call from the principal of one of my local elementary schools.
Thanks Chralene…I have not seen the need for this level of activism in a good long time. And I don’t think I am going to be stopping any time soon.