It’s been nearly 27 years since twenty-year-old Bobby Griffith took his own life.
Nearly three decades later, the church whose teachings drove him to suicide continues to preach intolerance towards LGBTs.
Guided by Church elders, Bobby’s Mom had tried to “cure” him of his “affliction.” It’s a very different Mary Griffith who speaks to us today.
“It’s not something I did out of malice,” says an older, wiser Griffith. “I can forgive me: it’s harder to forgive the church.”
Griffith adds: “Love has to come from God, that was distorted in my life.”
“The family was not guided well by their church, but it’s important not to demonize religious people,” says acclaimed actress Sigourney Weaver, who plays Mary Griffith in the new Lifetime film Prayers For Bobby. “I’m hoping this film will open their eyes.”
Over the ensuing years, Griffith has made amends for Bobby’s death the only way she knew how: by becoming a staunch advocate for LGBT youth. She’s an honored member of P-FLAG, and does a lot of public speaking on the organization’s behalf. Her message to the parents of LGBT kids is simple: accept and love your children for who they are.
In Prayers For Bobby, Sigourney Weaver plays the Mary who once was. After Bobby’s death, the Oscar nominee brilliantly recreates the changes that gradually came over Mary.
“The film was very difficult to watch,” admits Griffith. “But it will help a lot of kids and adults: I hope it will bring hope to people.”
“It was not my intent to impersonate Mary,” said Weaver. “I felt that I had to take the essence of what happened and run with it. It didn’t occur to me that I couldn’t go certain places. Mary had given me permission to tell the truth.”
Both women had strong words for Proposition 8, the recent ban on gay marriage passed by a slim majority of California voters.
“It’s unconstitutional to have a referendum like that,” Sigourney Weaver said firmly. “Everyone has the same rights, no exceptions. I can’t believe they put it on the ballot.”
Adds Mary Griffith: “What shocked me is that people don’t realize they’re messing with their own 14th Amendment rights.”
These days, a semi-retired Griffith speaks proudly of her newly out lesbian granddaughter. Though she continues the good fight, she admits that health problems have slowed her down a bit.
She also made an admission that may surprise some: “I still go to church. I’m good no matter where I go.”
Prayers For Bobby airs on Lifetime on these dates (confirm local listings for airtimes):
Saturday, Jan. 24, 2008 at 9 p.m. Eastern
Sunday, Jan. 25, 2008 at 8 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 2008 at 9 p.m.
David Alex Nahmod lives in San Francisco, where he does film reviews and celebrity interviews for a variety of LGBT publications. Visit him at: DavidsOpenForum.Blogspot.com.
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This epiphany will be happening to more and more Americans.
The United Church of Canada has long been progressive. I like their wording: they consider homosexuality as a “natural variance”.
Its not a choice people make. Strange how the fundamentalist Christians are so against prochoice.
Comment by Oemissions — January 19, 2009 @ 8:46 am
I can’t figure out why good people, ones who say they love others and that want to reach out from their churches, won’t listen to the first-person accounts that tell the truth. My hope is that many will see this movie, hear the story, and begin to change.
Comment by Carol — January 20, 2009 @ 9:56 am
[...] Focus on the Family this week warned conservative Christians not to watch the upcoming Lifetime TV movie, “Prayers For Bobby.” (Previous TWO coverage.) [...]
Pingback by Truth Wins Out - Focus on the Family Smears Mother of Ex-Gay Suicide Victim — January 20, 2009 @ 10:40 pm
I am terribly hurt and awfully sad by this loss of a good spirit. i wish i could’ve been been there to comfort bobbys family or maybe be a friend in need to him.i can only imagine what that poor boy must have felt to make such a final and no doubt frightening decision, oh god, but i still feel gratefull that i got to know of him.to his family though its been some years please accept my condolences.and know that you are indeed a blessed and choosen family,and mom know that as strong as you were in your efforts to change him, you were 10 times stronger in your mission to fight for the rights of gay and lesbian people all over the world.so to you the entire griffith family i wanna say thanks a bunch and you have made this world a much safer place to live in. god bless.
Comment by willis francis — January 25, 2009 @ 12:44 am
I just watched this movie this past Sunday. I did not catch in on Saturday however, I did tape it. It was one of the most moving and truthful movies that I have ever seen in regards to the struggle of our youth today. I am a Gay man and can relate to this movie really well. I went through about the same thing as a adolesant->young adult. I got mixed up in Alcohol and Drugs just to ease the pain of who I am. It is really sad to me that this kind of thing still happens today. I grew up in the 80’s and it was very hard. I tried suicide 3 times, and went through physical child abuse which did not help my situation at all just made things worse. I am at peace with myself thanks to the Church that I attend and alot of spiritual guidance in regards to this. I have learned that being Gay is an Oriantation not a Condomnation. God does not make junk,I have learned that I was created this way at conseption.IT IS NOT AN ILLNESS! Parents open your eyes, love your children, accept them for who they are, not what you want them to be. Your children are blessings from God, not individuals that you can mold to your liking. It just does not work that way. I am also Hispanic and the Hispanic culture where I come from is very Machista, *( for those who can relate)* which makes the issue of being gay alot harder. I believe that God has sent each of us on a mission on his behalf, and many of us *(Gay and Lesbians)* understand that. We are good people with good hearts and spirits, and we should have every right that a Hetro Couple should have. I now know the Guide Lines of my Spirituality and am very happy and content to live my life as such. No one has the right to Judge a Gay or a Lesbian, because of the Sexual Oriantation. Just like we should not judge others that are differant period. We are loving caring individuals that have alot to offer this world, in all aspects including and not limited to Polictics-Religion-etc… There are many issues regarding Gay Marriage-and whether or not Gay-Lesbians should be parents. Taking into consideration the thousands of children that are orfan, do not have homes, living on the street, many many children who just want someone to love them and be a part of their lives and give them some direction. Being Gay or Lesbian is not a desease a Gay or Lesbian Parent can give a needy child the love,support, and care that a Hetro Couple can, more so I have never Ever heard of a Child having to go through any kind of Child Abuse from a Gay or Lesbian couple. I am not saying that this can not happen, what I am saying is that we need to stop being so judgemental, and think of others,our children who are the next generation that will still be in this world to make things better. I am in the hopes that the next generation is better informed and understand that homosexuality as a “natural variance”. I am not pushing my oriantation on anyone, and I really do not believe that any Gay or Lesbian has that in mind, what we are trying and working toward is equal rights Period.
To the Griffin Family my most sincere regards and respect for having the courage to bring to light this most painful issue that has touched your lives. The loss of such a wonderful spirit,and loving soul which was Bobby, is great. He has been given a merciful judgement and is in heaven with God. He has brought his message to this world as God had commanded him to and as painful as it was for him to bring this message *( more so as painful as it was to Mary Griffith Bobby’s Mom)* he has left us with a better understanding of what alot of youth are going through,and his loss *(death)* was certainly not in vain. May God Bless Mary Griffith and her Family and may he give you the strength,knowledge, spirituality to continue forward.
My Most Sincere Regards
ERS
Comment by Edward — January 27, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
I read Prayers for Bobby by Leroy Aarons (http://www.leroyaarons.com/) when it first came out in 1996, then I re-read it when I heard that the Lifetime movie was about to air. It’s just as powerful and relevant now as when it was first published.
I’m so happy that Lifetime made Prayers for Bobby into a movie that introduced a new generation of teens and parents to this moving story. To really understand the power of the story, though, read the book. Leroy Aarons captured the voices and stories of both Bobby and his mother Mary in ways that speak to us today, and the book has more character development and truth than a two-hour movie can capture.
I knew the author, Leroy (Roy) Aarons personally, and he told me about getting many letters from gay youth who had contemplated suicide before reading this book — it literally saved their lives. Joshua Boneh, Roy’s life partner, tells me that more readers continue to write about how important the book was.
Comment by Joan Price — February 5, 2009 @ 5:11 pm
The term “Lifetime Movie” has some negative connotations, especially in the acting community – that you end up doing Lifetime Movies when you stop being desireable for Features or even Movies made by the broadcast networks (which sometimes have the production values of feature films). So you end up doing Lifetime flicks with titles like “Baby for Sale.” Tina Fey joked – referring to a scene in “Mean Girls” where she had to make a slightly corny delivery – that she was just preparing for her future Lifetime roles.
I have NOT seen this movie, but from what I’ve heard, it seems like this one extends beyond the boundaries of the traditional sappy, predictable “woman struggling in a man’s world/woman recovering after assault/woman struggling with womanly issues” movie. I’m glad they released this. And Ms. Weaver isn’t a slouch; she’s done good work. Maybe this will help lift Lifetime’s reputation.
Comment by Emily K — February 5, 2009 @ 6:12 pm