Focus on the Family this week warned conservative Christians not to watch the upcoming Lifetime TV movie, “Prayers For Bobby.” (Previous TWO coverage.)
The movie truthfully recalls the suffering of a Christian mother after her attempt to make her son turn ex-gay resulted in the son’s suicide.
The mother remains Christian, but today encourages parents to persue reconciliation rather than warfare against their gay teen-agers and adult offspring. The movie and a related book were produced with the assistance and support of the mother.
Focus on the Family does not explicitly tell would-be viewers not to watch; instead, Focus creates a climate of fear which is intended to scare conservative Christian readers away from media that are deemed to be ideologically damaging to Focus ideology.
First, Focus lies about the movie, claiming that it “casts Christians in (an) ugly role.” Then, Focus:
- falsely describes the son as “gay-identified,”
- falsely blames the son’s homosexuality — and the absence of a father — for the suicide,
- falsely implies that the mother is victimized by an anti-Christian movie, and
- falsely states that the movie does not respect a “redemptive” view of Christianity.
Instead of encouraging parents to make peace with their children, Focus idolizes antigay mother Terri Brown, who for 17 years has demanded in vain that her son pray-away-the-gay while she does the same.
Focus antigay activist Jeff Johnston says that the movie’s message against ex-gay falsehoods, parental ignorance, rejection, and untreated depression “runs contrary to God’ [message].”
So Focus on the Family are warning people not to watch this film, are they? What a good way to make sure that plenty of people watch it!
As for the criticism that the film “leaves out the redemptive power of Jesus Christ”, surely the opposite is true. If anything is clear evidence of the redemptive power of Jesus Christ, it is the transformation of the mother’s attitude to gays after her son’s death. (I haven’t seen the film, of course, but I’ve read the book.)
Incidentally, with regard to PFLAG, which Mary Griffith supports, I see that Regina Griggs is quoted on the website of the right-wing Catholic magazine, The Wanderer, as saying:
“PFLAG, GLAAD and HRC are gay-activist groups that oppose the civil rights of the ex-gay community.”
Now how’ that for flagrant and audacious misrepresentation? Or, if you prefer more Anglo-Saxon language, telling a coal-black lie?
It’s typical that the tactic recommended by FOF would be to turn your back on the show. Watching it could lead to an actual discussion and discussion and dogmatists don’t coexist.
I can imagine why Focus on the Family would not want to watch this film. There are many people who work there who think they are genuinely helping families. It must be difficult for them to confront the truth: their unnecessary war against GLBT people and their families has led to casualties.
Love Won Out does not “help people. It splits families and leads to GLBT youth harming themselves. In their hearts they know this to be true. That is why they won’t tune in to see this show.
“”PFLAG, GLAAD and HRC are gay-activist groups that oppose the civil rights of the ex-gay community.”"
LOL William, don’t you love how Regina tries to hijack the “community” thing, as if there’s an actual “ex-gay community”.
A handful of people running their “ministries” on their computers at home doesn’t make up an actual community. Those same people piggybacking on the civil rights of gay people doesn’t make them a community either.
I have not read the book or seen the movie yet. However, to say that there is not a community of ex-gay men and women is not true. A very good friend of mine has dealt with homosexuality in his past. Today he is married with two children…not that you can’t be homosexual and married with children. However, I remember speaking with him one night… He looked right in my eyes with tears in his and said he was free and at peace for the first time in his life. This has been close to 10 years now. What would I do if I was a mother like Mary… I’m sure it was very difficult to say the least… My best friend’s son came out when he was in college. She has continued to love him, accept him, share holidays with her son and his partner…etc. They are very well treated, accepted, and loved by family and friends. However, his mother and family believes the Bible on this issue. Also, there is I Corinthians 13: Love is patient, kind, etc… Standing up for what the Bible says doesn’t mean you have to be hateful. My friend has never disowned her son. She continues to pray but continues to love. Because the Word, out of desperation or pain, may be interpreted or carried out in a wrong way, does not make the Scripture wrong. I do believe in the redemptive power of God… I have experienced it myself in so many ways. God is love, but His Word is Truth. The church is made up of people; people miss it at times. We cannot change people. When we try to do it in our own strength and through shouting and screaming and fighting… it doesn’t work. Prayer is a powerful thing.
[...] on the Family resorts to scare tactics to steer its supporters away from Lifetime TV’s upcoming movie Prayers For [...]
“A very good friend of mine has dealt with homosexuality in his past. Today he is married with two children…not that you can’t be homosexual and married with children. However, I remember speaking with him one night… He looked right in my eyes with tears in his and said he was free and at peace for the first time in his life.”
I do not know him, but if it is acceptance he wants and craves for then it shall be the freedom he ever gets.
And reading among those lines, when a person does make that supposed “shift”, no one from the ex-gay movement talks about it as a probable case of bisexuality.
Being a bisexual, I can lay claim that I have “changed” many times, but at all those times I am still both sex attracted. Kelli, I am not trying to play down on his experience; but we must be open to that possibility because there are bisexuals. And also asexuals.
Kelli,
Your story is BS. I’m gay and I do not like women at all. I have tried changing. I spent thousands of dollars on “ex gay” therapy and dated MANY women in attempt to be straight.
What made me happy more than ever was being with another guy.
Those people you mentioned were not gay if they did in fact “turn straight”. I like guys, and ONLY guys but not girls. I actually feel sick when I think of being with a girl in an intimate way. Why should I have to be unhappy?
Maybe all those people you mentioned were able to successfully suppress their homosexual desires, but hardly any gay person has been able to do that without suffering. People have killed themselves because trying to change is literraly that damaging. You are suppressing a critical part of who that person is.
I think you need to stop pushing people to limits they cannot reach. The lies you just wrote about could prove fatal for some gay person who wants to change just to fit in, and then kills himself in the long run from the pain.
“I remember speaking with him one night… He looked right in my eyes with tears in his and said he was free and at peace for the first time in his life.”
Why the tears in his eyes? If someone has tears in his eyes when he tells me that he’s “absolutely fine, thank you”, it’s a sign to me that he’s probably no such thing.
I don’t know this guy, of course, but what you’ve said makes me suspect that he was desperately trying to convince HIMSELF that his sexual orientation had changed.
Still not convinced the “ex-gays” are a REAL community. A community of advertisers, maybe – because I’ve yet to see an “ex-gay” talk without advertising their own “ex-gay ministry”, or the one which they belong to (or their personal story book, which they’re trying to sell, etc.).
A cult, yes. Community, not so much.
It takes more than being a group of solicitors to become a community.
KELLI,
Yuki may be right, and I agree with her because of her experience. But those of us who are friends, can never really qualify how someone is managing their sexuality.
We live in times where it is still VERY dangerous to one’s school day, church and home environment to one’s LIFE to be gay.
The pressures in between are not at ALL something those of us outside of having to be gay can EVER appreciate.
Especially when it comes to marriages. How often are we surprised by the breakups of long term couples? Infidelities…domestic violence that occurred with no one knowing?
The relationships that gays and lesbians have with their straight partners are PARTICULARLY the ones we ESPECIALLY can’t know.
Gays and lesbians are pressured like no others to put on an affectation and make it work.
Not for THEIR benefit either. It never really IS for their benefit.
As for ex gays. Many of them too often fulfill the very stereotypes that those who advertise for leaving homosexuality provide.
But their dissatisfaction is very often typical of people who are FAILURES at other things, homosexuality is just easier to blame.
Especially since their problems are hardly exclusive to being homosexual in the first place.
The question really is Kelly, if homosexuality were accepted as normal and natura and posed no socio/political risks to the gay person…..what WOULD a gay person REALLY do with that freedom?
We’ll never know unless we work to ensure that freedom. So giving us examples of men or women who live outwardly as heterosexual is naive and premature.
Ex gays are living AS heterosexuals, that has no socio/political consequences and reduces the numbers of gay people for consideration as to their real amounts.
Ex gays create their own straw man as another minority, but one with ambiguity. So therefore, credibility isn’t solid enough. And that’s THEIR problem, yet they blame gay folks for that too.
I do believe there are bisexuals and certainly there are asexuals. Note that although there is pressure on THEM too…it’s not nearly so fraught with threat as living gay.
And unless any other powers equally are as interested in the truth of equal standing and freedom for gay people, whatever they say about gay people isn’t credible.
We, our society…is required now to let some very important things happen for gay people to decide whether or not what gay people can or must do.
Same as any other marginalized minority.
Like we had no idea what a black man would do if he had equal standing and opportunity until he actually HAD IT.
But to hear a SEGREGATIONIST tell it, black equality would be the worst thing that could happen.
Well, it wasn’t.
Same groceries for gay folks.
Consider it a fact that you don’t really know at all, and ex gays have NO credibility to speak for a group they assert they are not a part of and don’t want to be.
“God is love, but His Word is Truth.”
Actually, the Bible is man made and written by a Bronze age tribe in the desert. It has been translated countless times, so to say it is God’s literal word is patently absurd.
The truth is, “God’s word” is what people want it to be, by their chosen interpretation – which conveniently mirrors their cultural prejudices more often than not.
God gave us brains. Unfortunately, conservative religions often stop people from using them.
I appreciate Kelli’s optimistic and comparatively graceful attitude. Unfortunately, Kelli — and the people at Focus on the Family — feel that the Bible gives them an excuse to remain ignorant.
The people who gradually compiled the Bible excluded many books and letters, and rewrote other books and letters to suit their sectarian religious biases.
The resulting compilation of edited books contains numerous proven historical, archeological, geological, and geographic errors.
Furthermore, the Torah and Old Testament books contain false statements about non-Judaic religions, while the New Testament contains false statements about Jewish sects.
Focus on the Family treats the Bible like a low-budget school cafeteria: They scoop up morsels that are look cheap and fattening, then when they’ve had their fill, they arm themselves with scraps and start a food fight.
Focus on the Family is an embarrassment to Christianity. In creating fear they bolster their revenues to fight the one thing that god hates so much he will destroy America for it, homosexuals.
What I find so frustrating about fundamentalist Christians is not only their lack of knowledge on the subject but their lack of desire for knowledge.
I just had a conversation on facebook with a guy that wanted to tell me why I was wrong and how god set up marriage men and women only, but he wouldn’t read or entertain anything I asked him to consider.
Don’t bother me with the facts, I’ve made my mind up.
If there is some teenage kid that stumbles onto this blog, gay and rejected by his parents as James Dobson teaches, I hope they find hope and comfort in knowing that God loves them just the way He created them. They can know and follow Christ fully without trying to change orientation.
There would be allot less gay men marring our daughters if the church would let them accept themselves as Christian gay men. GLBT people need those inside the church to speak up for them, but if you have the courage to do that it may cost you your comfortable life in a church you thought loved you. There are accepting cogragations and it is worth the effort it takes in finding one.
I totally agree with you, Tim. And there are many gays, lesbians and transgenders who really wish to seek God; but unfortunately was told the only way to seek Him is to erase the existence of their sexuality. This kind of insincere message is so blatantly wrong. I am very glad that there are many LGBT affirming churches in the United States. It is my hope that there will be more in the rest of the world. For those LGBTs who seek God, need that accepting place, and need to know that GOD LOVES THEM ALL.
Any gay person that has anything to do with delusional mythology should be spanked hard. Get a grip on reality, live your life fearlessly, tell those who don’t agree with your lifestyle to get out of your life, and free yourself from the constraints of conformity. Love yourself and tell those who don’t love you to go f*ck themselves.