While boyfriend Travis Swanson struggles to free 23-year-old Bryce Faulkner from less-than-voluntary seclusion at an ex-gay boot camp, Faulkner’s antigay family members and a couple of friends appear to be conducting a Facebook campaign in support of Faulkner’s ex-gay reprogramming.
First, Faulkner’s mother Debra twice convinced Facebook to shut down a Facebook group that sought to locate and support her son. (Previous TWO stories.) Now two alleged friends or family members of Faulkner have started a closed Facebook group in support of his isolation and ex-gay re-education. The group introduction says:
Bryce Faulkner is many things to many people, but to Michael and myself he will always be one of the most caring, loving, generous people we have ever been blessed to know.
Contrary to what many people have heard, Bryce is not missing nor does he need to be saved or rescued. Bryce is safe, healthy and, most importantly, happy. Recently, he chose on his own accord to separate himself from the distractions from life that he believed were pulling him away from God. Seeking a spiritual reformation away from the worries and struggles of daily living, Bryce is in an environment where he has said he has come closer to the Lord than he has been in some time.
As recently as two days ago, Michael and I were both able to visit with Bryce. He appears to us as if a burden has been lifted from his shoulders, and he is at peace for the first time in a long time. Bryce was optimistic, joking and laughing through the majority of our visit. His outlook on life is something we admire and many strive to achieve, but he realizes there is still more to sort out as he plans his future.
The group description does not identify the group creator or Michael.
The claim that Faulkner is happily enjoying the isolation and amateur-led, shame-based counseling sessions that are typical at Exodus International boot camps is dubious: Numerous former ex-gays including Zach Stark have emerged from such boot camps to say that they were not there voluntarily and did not enjoy their stays, contrary to claims by relatives.
Swanson, for his part, continues to refute false information that has been released by Debra. In a lengthy interview with Quest, Swanson says:
- Contrary to Debra’s claim that Faulkner had recently been recruited by homosexual friends, Swanson says Faulkner had dated and gone to gay bars for the past several years.
- On or about June 14, Faulkner’s parents threatened to disown and evict him without money or belongings if he did not immediately choose between Swanson and them. According to Swanson, “He said that they made him read quotes out of the Bible out loud. They were telling him he was going to Hell. They told him that he had to choose between them or me. If he chooses me, he had o move out by tomorrow. He had less than one day to move out. He would be leaving without his phone, without any money, without his car and he would be fired from his job.”
- Faulkner was financially incapable of saying no to his parents: “We was going to go to graduate school, med school actually. He was living with his parents. His car was in his mom’s name. He even worked for his mom. She owns a business. It was more economic blackmail. That’s how I refer to it.”
- Faulkner’s parents are well-known in Arkansas and chose to isolate him in distant Mississippi and Pensacola, Florida, for 14 months — locations where their peers (and Bryce’s) would not find out. Swanson said, “He [Bryce] said that it’s a small town [in Arkansas], his parents are very well known, so he couldn’t be out. Word would have gotten back to them. At that point I talked to a friend of his who was friends with his sister. His sister agreed with his parents that he’s mentally ill and he needs the help that he getting.” If Faulkner were genuinely “mentally ill,” then he would need professional mental-health treatment — not an ex-gay boot camp run by amateur Exodus religious activists.
- Since the boot camp is on private property, a counter-intervention cannot be staged to determine whether Faulkner can voluntarily leave.
- Long before sending Faulkner to boot camp, Debra eavesdropped on his Internet and telephone communications as well as his debit-card records, criticizing him for dinners with friends in Little Rock and for lengthy phone calls.
- Debra offered to allow Swanson to speak once with Bryce via telephone at the boot camp — but only if she participated in the call. He refused.
- Contrary to a statement by antigay family members, Faulkner likely has no idea that anyone on the outside is concerned about his welfare. Swanson said, “I sincerely doubt Bryce has a clue as to what’s been happening since he entered the camp. The fastest way to let everyone know he’s really okay where he is is to put him on camera, preferably live.”
Swanson recalls, at length, a healthy and romantic relationship that gradually developed between him and Faulkner over the past two years. Swanson says it was his first gay relationship.
A web site in support of Faulkner has been set up by Brett A. Harris at savebryce.ergonomicalministries.org.
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This story is very similar to what happened to Beecher, my ex, which TWO & Ex Gay watch reported on.
As is often the case, TWO and Ex Gay Watch are putting the facts out there, but the gay print media and gay advocacy groups say/do nothing!
I often wonder if they even care!
)-:
as for these right wingers, why the hell don’t they back off???!!!
We don’t go into their communities & try to “change” them!
we don’t campaign against their rights!
Comment by David Alex Nahmod — July 29, 2009 @ 2:57 pm
Talk about irony…Facebook pulls the plug on two support groups created by people who accept Bryce Faulkner for who he is, while allowing individuals who don’t accept him unconditionally to create their group.
The other question to be asked is, will those of you with facebook accounts cancel out of respect to Bryce Faulkner?
Comment by Nelson G. — July 29, 2009 @ 6:44 pm
I should add Nelson to the list of people who supported me.
I don’t have a Facebook page.
I was thinking about getting one, but now, I think not.
Comment by David Alex Nahmod — July 29, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
Good point, Nelson, but how do you propose that FB police which groups are allowed and which ones are not?
Bryce’s mother controls his account — shouldn’t a Facebook user be allowed to report a group that allegedly publicizes misinformation about that user? How does Facebook know who’s controlling the user account?
Bryce’s predicament has occurred, in part, because he unfortunately ceded too much control over his life to his parents in exchange for parent-owned phone, bank account, room and board, and medical school. Those are understandable risks; sadly, the gamble did not pay off.
Comment by Michael Airhart — July 29, 2009 @ 10:19 pm
I guess that means you won’t cancel your Facebook out of solidarity and respect. Now we know.
Facebook bans people convicted of so called sex offenses from registering an account; they do so with impunity.
Given that Facebook ban the two other groups because they were created without Bryce’s permission or consent, couldn’t the same be said about Please Pray For Bryce?
Please, Mike, don’t play naive on this issue. It undermines your credibility.
You know as well as I that when cafeteria christians “praying for” someone, it’s not for good health and a long life.
Comment by Nelson G. — July 30, 2009 @ 4:46 pm
Nelson, neither Travis Swanson nor anyone else affiliated with Bryce Faulkner has called for a Facebook boycott.
And you didn’t bother to answer my questions.
You have made a virtual career of claiming to be the only legitimate gay activist in the world, and of accusing various websites that disagree with you of being poseurs.
It must be nice to be king of the mountain.
Comment by Michael Airhart — July 30, 2009 @ 9:07 pm
“Oh yes he’s totally happy and wanted to do this. What? Can he speak without his every word going through us? Uh…”
Comment by Penguinsaur — July 30, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
I do find it interesting that we have not heard him speak for himself. And these guys running that group said he is now better in God’s eyes.
First, I doubt has eyes. If he were nearsighted, would he wear contacts or giant glasses?
Second, with that kind of pressure and guilt, if these crazies did speak to Bryce, he probably told them exactly what they wanted to hear.
Comment by Wayne Besen — July 30, 2009 @ 11:37 pm
After giving it more thought, I think we should start a Facebook page to network with other LGBTs who are tired of being ignored and shut out by the gay “advocacy” groups who should be
helping us.
When I turned to our “advocacy groups” regarding my ex Beecher, (a situation similar to Bryce’s) I was laughed at. I was lectured to about “co-dependency”. I was told that no one cared and that I should get over it.
I was also told this by several members of the gay print media~~I have emails on file that proves this.
I have since seen our “advocacy” groups shut most of the community out of the No on 8 campaign. They also seem to be ignoring the Bryce sitution.
Anyone else tired of this?
Any thoughts on starting a Facebook page to network with those who do care, who might want to help people like Beecher and Bryce?
Comment by David Alex Nahmod — July 31, 2009 @ 9:51 am
I believe there already are several such groups.
For example, the National Youth Advocacy Coalition:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Youth-Advocacy-Coalition-NYAC/16082597892
http://www.nyacyouth.org/
There are many GLBT advocacy groups that do not shut people out.
Comment by Michael Airhart — July 31, 2009 @ 11:08 pm
And there are already several existing groups and coalitions in California and nationally that seek a change of leadership in legacy organizations that are perceived as ineffective.
Comment by Michael Airhart — July 31, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Thanks, Michael.
I’m going to check those out.
(-:
I’m sorry if I rant & rave sometimes, but the combined indignity of being subjected to anti-gay hate and an indifferent LGBT community is sometimes too much to bear.
Comment by David Alex Nahmod — August 1, 2009 @ 12:02 am
Michael,
I must correct you. In the last paragraph of your article you say:
<<>>
That is not true. Travis never said they had been together for two years. You were quoting the reporter from Quest:
<<>>
The entire interview can be see here:
http://www.quest-online.com/NewFiles/Quest_Newsroom_247.html
I just wanted to clear that up.
Thank you.
Comment by Tonya — August 2, 2009 @ 12:15 am
Sorry,
The clip that I copied from the interview didn’t paste, let me try that again. You said:
“Swanson recalls, at length, a healthy and romantic relationship that gradually developed between him and Faulkner over the past two years. Swanson says it was his first gay relationship.”
Travis never said they had been together for two years.
The Quest reporter was referring to himself when he said:
“Quest: So then you got to know him in these online conversations. I’m very sympathetic to this as I sit here with my partner sitting in the next room. It’s been five and a half years, and it was three years before we actually met.
We’ve been seeing each other physically whenever possible for the last two years. And you think you have a long distance relationship? Try beating the 6900 miles between our two front doors!
My partner deals with similar issues that Bryce was dealing with: disapproval issues in his home country, his family and his culture.
But I know I grew to know him in this long distance relationship through IMs, texts and emails in ways that you never do in a relationship with a person sitting next to you in a bar or restaurant.
In some ways it’s almost Victorian. People used to exchange letters back and forth before they ever met. So yours is a kind of 21st Century Victorian love story. You got to know each other through texting and talking to each other without ever touching.”
Thank you again, I just don’t want things being misquoted.
Comment by Tonya — August 2, 2009 @ 12:18 am
Ouch! Thank you for pointing out my error.
Comment by Michael Airhart — August 3, 2009 @ 5:51 pm
The guy is 23? He’s a grown man..why all the fuss? Im not against him loving anyone..it is however a bit weird so many people are talking about him and he and his family say nothing. Maybe he and his family and or/boyfriend or even girlfriend..want to be left alone?
Comment by Shannon — August 16, 2009 @ 6:59 pm