Janet Boynes Ministry is challenging Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) as an organization “ministering” to parents who have GLBT children. According to Boynes’ newsletter:
“Janet Boynes Ministries is pleased to launch our new blog, Parents Reaching Parents, to assist parents in finding support from other parents in the midst of this journey. May this blog be a blessing to you.”
I can’t blame Boynes for wanting to supplant PFOX as the primary organization alienating parents from their GLBT children. PFOX is basically a sham group that serves as a front for anti-gay legal organizations to sue people or schools. It has attracted bizarre activists, such as Richard Cohen, Anthony Falzarano and Greg Quinlan, who represent about the worst faces the ex-gay industry can put forth.
While Boynes is friendly and well intentioned, she is terribly misguided and will most certainly separate parents from their kids. This is especially sad as we approach the holiday season, when loving families should be together, not divided and driven apart because of religious extremism.
According to Boynes’ website:
Janet Boynes Ministries (JBM) is a non-denominational outreach dedicated to evangelism by preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. JBM will also minister to individuals who question their sexuality or who wish to leave homosexuality. JBM will seek to inform and challenge churches and society about the issues surrounding sexuality and teach how to minister to the homosexual community. These goals will be accomplished through promotion of family values, public speaking events, distribution of media, and coordination with individuals, churches, ministries, and organizations.
Just what America needs – yet another professional “ex-gay” seeking the limelight and peddling false tales of change for profit. I suppose it is a good gig while it lasts – until the almost inevitable “fall”. But, I suppose this is an improvement over PFOX, the most reprehensible and creepy organization in the nation.
Janet Boynes has no clue how to minister to the homosexual community. Her notions of what gay people value, feel, and believe are sweet — but ridiculous. Her stereotypes about the parents of gay people are insulting. And her understanding of sexuality is neither insightful nor particularly moral.
Her notion of “family values” is to impose Christian Rightist conformity and intentional ignorance upon already overburdened husbands and wives.
It’s sad that seemingly nice people like Boynes work so hard to discredit Christianity and drive people away.
It is, as you say, Wayne, just another “organization alienating parents from their GLBT children”. How very sad this is.
I wanted to take the time to respond to your article “Janet Boynes Ministries Horns in On PFOX’ Territory”. The headline of the article itself is deceptive in nature and in no way reflects the thoughts or feelings of this ministry. Though there are some truths in the article and direct quotes from our recent newsletter — the article is really more an editorial based on what you would like to see happen, but does not reflect the reality of this new endeavor.
Janet Boynes Ministries – from it’ inception has always been involved in supporting the parents of children in the gay lifestyle. Though the stories of their children may be different, these parents have all come to the ministry to seek better understanding of their children and how to love them. We have done this for years — alongside and with the support of many other organizations — such as PFOX and Exodus. The addition of the blog is only to expand a way for these parents who sometimes live on opposite side of the country to be able to connect with each other. Our desire is to provide another avenue for these parents to hear from and support each other as individuals.
Your article uses words such as “supplant”, “horn in” and “challenge” — all of which could not only be further from the truth — but also impossible. In order for JBM to challenge or supplant this organization, it would mean that we are working against each other and on opposite sides of an issue. We may use different methods and operate in different parts of the country — but we have the same goal, preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is because of that we understand that the scripture teaches us in Ephesians we are all parts of the same body. We don’t challenge or compete against each other — we work together and pray for each other. I pray that you will publish this statement alongside your editorial — so that it will be clear the difference between your opinions and the objectives of this ministry
Janet:
Nice try. The fact is, PFOX serves the exact function that your new blog is trying to serve. For whatever reason, you thought they were not getting the job done, and it was your role to fill the void.
Your not swooping in on PFOX in the same way that Burger King is not in competition with McDonalds.
Um, Okay, we believe you.
In any case, both groups are tearing apart families and using the Bible to justify the obvious harm. The best thing a parent can do to remain close to their GLBT child is run the moment they see you, or your competitor, PFOX.
Janet said “Janet Boynes Ministries — from it’ inception has always been involved in supporting the parents of children in the gay lifestyle.”.
Janet, gays live as diverse a variety of lifestyles as straights, there is no such thing as a gay lifestyle. Your use of that term is a transparent attempt to demonize gay people and it is highly offensive. Your acknowledgement of your goal of “supporting” the parents of gay children betrays your true goal – to encourage these parents to reject the core of who their children are and pressure them into a live of denial and lonliness or sham opposite sex marriages that harm all involved. You cloak these actions in the facade of “ministry” and “Jesus” to make you feel better about your destructive actions and to dishonestly paint your hate in a positive light. You focus on the parents of gay children because ultimately you don’t care how much you harm their gay children, your bigotry comes first.
You know, Priya, you’ve brought up something that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently.
For many people, no matter how anti-gay their attitude previously was, when they discover that a son or daughter is gay it acts a kind of epiphany that leads them to reconsider that attitude.
For some, however, the discovery just seems to harden their position. For instance, an ultra-conservative Baptist minister here in the UK had a son who committed suicide some years ago. The son, who had to a great extent absorbed his father’ religious views, had spent years going from psychiatrists to exorcists and from exorcists to “ex-gay” ministries in a futile quest for a “cure” for his homosexuality. His father knew nothing about this, nor had he even suspected that his son was gay, and he discovered it only when he read the suicide note that his son had left behind. The story was made the subject of a television documentary entitled “Better Dead than Gay”.
What has the father done since? Having seen what internalized homophobia had done to ruin his son’ life, he set up his own “ex-gay” ministry to f—k up the lives of other people’ gay sons and daughters.
What has given me food for thought is this: secular people, when they are brought face to face with gays and lesbians in the flesh, and realise that they are just people and that they are their family members, friends, neighbours etc., will usually repent of and abandon hateful attitudes — if any — that they previously held. Those Christian people, on the other hand, who claim the sanction of a supposedly infallible Bible or Church for such attitudes, probably won’t. As a life-long Christian myself (although definitely not a fundamentalist) I find this deeply disturbing.
I’m consistently annoyed by heterosexist organizations who use the transgender symbol on their media (the venus/female symbol fused with the mars/male symbol)
O.k., so I went to Janet’ blog for parents and found this letter by a Christian parent about her lesbian daughter:
My loved one told me in high school that she was gay. Living in a very small community it was not only a shocker but also no one really knew anything about this lifestyle. I was extremely deperessed and wondered where I had failed. A counselor told me God is a perfect Father and his children were in the wilderness for 40 years. He said you are not perfect and she has choices. So I worked on me. She is now 27, very successful job, still in the lifestyle, but I have learned to unconditionally love her, not her lifestyle. We have a very wonderful relationship and she knows exactly where I stand in belief about gay lifestyle. I believe what the word says about it. I love her and God taught me about loving her not her lifestyle and today she will call me about anything. I pray for her and I love her so much. It was a long and difficult road for me because I blamed myself. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I know God has His hand on her and I can do nothing to change another individual but me. God bless Nancy
by Nancy October 13, 2009 at 8:11 am
Boy oh Boy!!! Janet’s Ministries and PFox sound so hateful towards gays/lesbians!!! They are just so fierce and evil, just plotting against gays/lesbians night and day as the above letter from a parent from her blog shows. You are so right!!! This is the TRUTH. I am so glad we now have this site on the internet to help us blind folk.
This said…what does PFLAG do for parents of gays and lesbians? Do they tell them that gays/lesbians are born gay and that no change or responsible relationships/sex will ever be possible? How likely is it really that gays/lesbians will marry, not cheat on each other and stay together for life? For those who marry, (are they chaste before marriage, or is this not part of the gay lifestyle at all? Or is it basically just a sexual feeding frenzy, full of lust? No offence, just wondering, since everyone is open?)
Also, can you answer the following truthfully, how young are gay/lesbians youth when they go into the gay community, and where do they go and what do they do there?
Can someone answer these questions for me? TRUTH.
By the way, the Truth brings the facts to the Light. Since PFox and Janet Boyne’ Ministries are so “evil”, I would like to see a link not only to Janet Boynes’ Blog but to her Newsletter as well.
Because you know what? Truthfully, I do not see this evil. What I see, our parents who love their children unconditionally and are praying for them.
Sylvia asked “what does PFLAG do for parents of gays and lesbians?”
They teach them how to deal with the hatred and oppression of people like you.
Sylvia asked “Do they tell them that gays/lesbians are born gay and that no change or responsible relationships/sex will ever be possible?”.
Of course not. It is the purveyors of the “exgay” myth such as NARTH that lie to gays and tell them they can never have responsible relationships/sex and that they can never be happy as gay people.
Sylvia asked “How likely is it really that gays/lesbians will marry, not cheat on each other and stay together for life?”.
The likelihood of them marrying depends mostly on whether or not they are allowed to. For those that do, the likelihood that they will not cheat on each other and stay together for life is the same or better than the liklihood that a straight couple will not cheat on each other and stay together for life.
Sylvia asked “For those who marry, (are they chaste before marriage, or is this not part of the gay lifestyle at all? Or is it basically just a sexual feeding frenzy, full of lust?”.
For those heterosexuals who marry, are they chaste before marriage, or is it just basically a sexual feeding frenzy full of lust?
There is no such thing as a gay lifestyle Sylvia, your romantic interest does not equate to a lifestyle anymore than it does for straight couples. You can’t tell anything about a gay person’s lifestyle from the fact that they’re same sex attracted.
Sylvia said “Truthfully, I do not see this evil. What I see, our parents who love their children unconditionally and are praying for them.”
Come on now Sylvia, the evil is apparent in your post itself. You come here spreading the lie that being gay means a lifestyle of unbridled lust, a “sexual feeding frenzy”. You’re lying about gay people, encouraging people to see them as evil – that’s anything but unconditional love, its not love of any sort.
I missed one of Sylvia’s questions: “how young are gay/lesbians youth when they go into the gay community, and where do they go and what do they do there?”.
How young are straight youth when they go into the straight community? You see Sylvia, you have a lot of misconceptions about gay people and their community. Many gay youth will never “go into the gay community” – to them there isn’t one as such. Some may go to gay bars when they turn legal drinking age, but a gay bar is not the same as the gay community, to the extent that such a thing even exists. Gay and lesbian youth are being open about their attractions at younger ages than they used to, they may find gay or lesbian friends in high school and that is as much a community as anything else. Some may grow up in a family with an openly gay relative and thus may in a sense be part of a gay community from birth, just like straight children are a part of the straight community from birth. Some, due to the oppression of people like you may hide their orientation for a lifetime and never seek community with people like themselves, living a life of lonliness and despair. Thankfully as more and more people like yourself recognize the error of your ways there are fewer and fewer gay people like this.
How am I lying when “I simply asked” if this was true. Please do not misquote me or please prove further the nature of my evil when I was simply asking you or the people on this site for further information and proof to substantiate what you claim. Here are my questions again from the above:
“This said…what does PFLAG do for parents of gays and lesbians? Do they tell them that gays/lesbians are born gay and that no change or responsible relationships/sex will ever be possible? How likely is it really that gays/lesbians will marry, not cheat on each other and stay together for life? For those who marry, (are they chaste before marriage, or is this not part of the gay lifestyle at all? Or is it basically just a sexual feeding frenzy, full of lust? No offence, just wondering, since everyone is open?)
Also, can you answer the following truthfully, how young are gay/lesbians youth when they go into the gay community, and where do they go and what do they do there?
Can someone answer these questions for me? TRUTH.”
I asked for information, for example, what stats can you provide, what scientific documentation do you have that backs up what you say or is it just “fanaticism”. I am not interested in talking to fanatics.
Also, a big fuss is being made here about Janet and PFOX, but no one mentioned “Encourage”, a Catholic organization for parents and friends of gays. Here is the site link:
http://couragerc.net/
So, does this mean that Janet is taking everyone on or she just doing her own thing and responding to the people who come her way? Can’t expect everyone to wear the same clothing or have the same haircut after all. And from reading one of the comments above, (from someone at Janet Boynes Ministries), it seems they (PFOX, Exodus, and the people at Janet Boynes Ministries) pray together: “we work together and pray for each other.”
Umm, again, based on the above, that Janet seems like a real menace to the “world”!
Further, what do you all think of this ex-gay now Catholic who recently got married? Have a look at his website, there are some real nice pictures of the bride and groom:
http://thesheepfold.typepad.com/
Don’t they look lovely??? I think he is a real blessed guy myself.
I have put Sylvia Bertolini and her five most recent comments on moderation for the following reasons:
1. Comment flooding — posting faster than others can respond
2. Strawman arguments
3. Presumptuous accusations
4. Proselytization
Comments critical of TWO articles are welcome; intemperate behavior is not. Commenters are expected to respect diverse factual and religious perspectives and to permit two-way conversation. If someone wants to write a book of self-flattery, they should start their own blog.
Sylvia said “How am I lying when “I simply asked” if this was true?”.
By posing such absurd questions you’re giving validity to the underlying presumptions. You would never ask if heterosexual relationships are a “sexual feeding frenzy, full of lust” – what makes you think that’s a valid question about gay relationships?
I answered your questions, gay relationships are much the same as straight relationships, its bigotry of you to keep questioning the truth.
Sylvia said “I asked for information, for example, what stats can you provide, what scientific documentation do you have that backs up what you say or is it just “fanaticism”. I am not interested in talking to fanatics.”.
There aren’t any stats on the questions you asked Sylvia, as I pointed out, there is no such thing as a gay community that youth “join” – there can be no such thing as stats on that. The only fanatic here is you. Your tactics here are similar to me asking repeatedly “How many children have you sexually molested” and then should you suggest none for me to ignore your answer and say “what stats can you provide, what scientific documentation do you have that backs up what you say or is it just “fanaticism”. I am not interested in talking to fanatics.”.
To Steven Davis:
No, God does not think something simply because one prooftexted sentence in the Bible says so. The Bible contains a variety of conflicting human philosophies. Portions of the Old Testament do condone rape and murder committed in the course of holy war against infidels. Many faithful Jews are smart enough to reject certain Biblical untruths; it’s a pity that some Christian Rightists are — by their own decision — dumb enough to blindly believe and obey immoral dictates.
You do not know the mind of God, Steven, so stop telling other people whether God approves of them. I hope that God’s ways are higher than your carnal and egocentric ways.
This discussion has drifted far off-topic and I am inclined to close it unless there are compelling objections.