I don’t even like Adam Lambert. I don’t like American Idol. I did not watch the AMA’s. So, in reality, I do not care what did or did not happen there, whose crotch was where, what got shoved into what, or any of that other funny business!*

But I’m now thinking about these things, and it’s Alex Blagg‘s fault.

As you may know, Adam Lambert’s performance on the AMA’s was controversial. He did some gay-ish things, some straight-ish things…in short, he was pushing the envelope.** This brought about the expected fainting-couch-hitting from the usual suspects, and also some FCC complaints. Well, The Smoking Gun filed a Freedom of Information Act request and now we get to see some of those complaints, and some of them are hateful, some are sadly misinformed, and some are just straight-up funny. (Often these are overlapping categories, obviously.) Usually, when we deal with homophobia, we’re responding to public statements by notorious hatemongers and homophobes “pro-family” leaders. But in this instance, we get to see it unfiltered. Let’s have a look at a few, and then you can go to The Smoking Gun to look at the rest!

Smoking Gun 12 Adam Lambert Is A Lesbian (Things You Learn When You Read FCC Complaints)

How many times have you been to “Bancok,” sir? Interesting Freudian spelling, I think…but that one’s not so bad. How about this one for some unfiltered hatred?

Smoking Gun 21 Adam Lambert Is A Lesbian (Things You Learn When You Read FCC Complaints)

Nazi? I wonder where they got that!

This one is just funny:

Smoking Gun 31 Adam Lambert Is A Lesbian (Things You Learn When You Read FCC Complaints)

That’s right, get that frickin’ lesbian off my screen.

The last one I’m going to post is more serious, and it’s revelatory of the fact that the anti-gay side, for the most part, simply doesn’t understand how things work in the United States of America.***

Smoking Gun 4 Adam Lambert Is A Lesbian (Things You Learn When You Read FCC Complaints)

“Freedom of speech does not include the freedom to offend.” Uhhhh, actually? Yes, it does. That’s the entire point of having freedom of speech. I’m very sorry, but the fact that some people apparently have such fragile worldviews that they cannot bear seeing or hearing things they find disagreeable does not mean we should censor ourselves. And what is it with gays? What is it with straight people? Why are they always making kissy kissy with each other and bein’ naughty and humpin’ stuff on the Desperate Housewives program and on the soaps, I mean, where’d my America go, the days where I could sit on the sofa and watch my stories and not have to worry about all kinds of straight people showin’ their boobies and their whozits and their jingle-jangles? Well, I never!****

Anyway, there are so many more where that came from, and they run the gamut from offensive to funny to laugh-out-loud funny in a different way, and there are even some supportive ones.

And again, I do not care about Adam Lambert. For the record.

Also, read Gawker on the same subject.

*Also, you kids, GET OFF MY LAWN!

**Nothing that David Bowie didn’t do thirty years ago, and better.

***These people tend to be the ones who “want their country back.” It’s bizarre, because they seem to want a country that never actually existed. Or as John Oliver showed on The Daily Show the other night, what they tend to want is a return to simpler times, when they were children, because children don’t have to worry their little heads about grown-up stuff.

****I said, GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU KIDS!