People who were spiritually and emotionally injured by “ex-gay” ministries and reparative therapy gathered in south Florida two months ago to reflect on their experiences and their recovery.
The conference organizers have now made video of these recollections available. Video length: about 50 minutes.
Reflections from Survivors of Ex-Gay Ministries & Reparative Therapy from SOULFORCE on Vimeo.
The Anti-Heterosexism Conference was co-sponsored by Soulforce, the National Black Justice Coalition, Truth Wins Out, Box Turtle Bulletin, Equality Florida, and Beyond Ex-Gay.
May God bless all those who have struggled with “ex-gay” programs. May He also bless those caught up in homophobia and the “ex-gay” lifestyle and lead them to acceptance of their natural, God-given, sexual orientation.
a letter
by Brian Equality Martin on Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 1:08am
Dear NOM, FOF, Evergreen International, Exodus International and all other ignorant, hypocritical religious entities and persons,
No one chooses to be gay and most never wanted to be. A great many like myself fell to their knees to pray, sobbing like babies, pleading with God to fix them; to cure them; to forgive them. We sought reparation therapy; psychological and religious counseling. We lived in fear and in despair as we wondered why God had forsaken us, why he had not answered our prayers. Finally breaking through the din I heard a voice say, “Why do you listen to them? They know not of what they speak and they DO NOT speak for me. I did not forsake you for I have been with you and speaking to you all along”.
“You do not need reparation therapy for you are not broken. You do not need cured for you are not ill. You do not need forgiveness for you have done nothing wrong. You do not need their compassion, understanding or love for you have always had mine. Go now and rejoice for you are as I have made you; a wondrous and unique individual who deserves all the love and happiness you can find”.
And no it was not Satan, for his voice I know. For his voice I have heard and his voice does not bring peace, comfort and joy.
Sincerely,
Brian Keith Martin
Tonight I find solace from listening to the reflections of fellow LGBTs who have survived the ex-gay journey. I started mine through a chapter of Exodus International in my country when I was 14. Grew up trying to be straight and have sought ministry whenever I could to be set free from my “broken image of masculinity”. For 5 years in my late twenties, I was involved with a Foursquare minister who ministered inner healing and deliverance to me. For 5 years, I walked around feeling like there were demons of perversion in my body every time I felt attracted to a man. The minister was spiritually and emotionally manipulative through his “prophetic gifting” and eventually turned sexually abusive in our therapy sessions. I eventually broke away from his control and decided to accept myself as gay. It was freeing but the journey to undo the scars of the past proved difficult. I loved God deeply but despaired and was confused about the decision that I was making. Over time, I found peace within myself, and found a tremendous partner who is tremendously supportive. Unlike what Exodus Intl folks would have me believe, my gay relationship was neither idolatrous, co-dependent, nor disordered. I still struggle with the anger of being manipulated by this minister but the stories on this site gives me a lot of comfort and courage.
Good for you, Dennis. Standing up for yourself is a wondrous curative.