Folks? Folks, folks, folks…

Folks!

Folks, Peter LaBarbera has taken to posting right wing e-mail forwards. In this case, it’s a letter, written by a Navy captain who served starting in 1947, when homosexuality was not understood, when knowledge wasn’t readily available, before gays started coming out…in other words, back in the days when pesky reality didn’t interfere with the biases of a man like Peter LaBarbera. Oh, for the world to be ignorant again! Anyway, the letter was written to Admiral Mike Mullen, by a man named Lawrence “Jim” Jefferis. Here are a few quotes, along with what emotional needs the quotes fulfill for Peter.

This quote allows Peter LaBarbera to continue believing that he’s a stronger man than the valiant gay and lesbian servicemembers who could, in actuality, overpower him physically with one hand tied behind their backs:

During my enlisted service, homosexuals seemed to be a clumsy lot. They had a tendency to repeatedly fall headfirst down an engineroom ladder. Some were even known to trip on deck and “fall” overboard.

This quote allows Peter LaBarbera to pretend that being gay is somehow a limiting factor, like lack of education or a criminal record, and keeps him from confronting the fact that gay and lesbian West Point graduates like Dan Choi not only could physically overpower him with one hand tied behind their backs, but also could intellectually overpower him in the first seconds after they wake up, before they’ve even had their coffee:

The Navy, today, does not willingly accept GED [General Equivalency Diploma] holders for enlistment. Minor criminal records are a bar to enlistment. Visible tattoos and piercings are not permitted. Are these aberrations more damning than sodomy? Personnel may be denied reenlistment if they fail to meet obesity standards. The young men and women denied naval service because of these exclusionary conditions may also want to defend their country and might also be able to satisfactorily operate a radar, or a gas turbine, or a gun. But you are only advocating the acceptance of homosexuals! Why is that, Admiral?

This quote allows Peter LaBarbera to make the lazy, dishonest comparison of homosexuality to pedophilia. Strangely, the writer thinks that pedophiles would be better servicemembers than gays. That was a glance into the man’s psyche that I frankly did not need:

If we get to pick and choose which laws we uphold, which laws are next on the line to ignore? Carnal Knowledge? I would think a service man or woman who has sex with a minor (Carnal Knowledge) could perform military duties as well, if not better, than a homosexual.

This quote allows Peter LaBarbera to continue promoting strange right-wing myths that most or all gays actually want to change genders. I have never understood this bizarre myth. I suppose it’s just another way to scare their stupid sheep:

And have you considered the likelihood that some of the homosexuals will request sex-change procedures? I know for a fact that a significant percentage of my Law School class was undergoing sex-change therapy or surgery.

“A significant percentage”?! Ah yes, the famous transgender class of Hastings College, where 1 out of every 2 students was undergoing gender reassignment therapy.

WTF, Peter? Are you really willing to believe anything a right-wing nutjob tells you?

This quote allows chickenhawk Peter LaBarbera to believe he understands military stuff better than actual military leaders:

I hope that you recognize that we are irreconcilably opposed on this issue, but I think I have given it more thought than you.

And finally, this quote allows Peter to gaze at the words “anal fixation” for hours on end without his wife questioning his “research”:

In retrospect, I now realize that of all the officers I served with on active duty, Naval Academy graduates were the most tolerant of homosexuals. It may only be coincidence, but was there something in the curriculum that created such tolerance? I am aware that there have been numerous scandals regarding drug use, academic cheating, and heterosexual misconduct, but had never before given much thought to their acceptance of homosexual behavior, despite my awareness that there was a tendency toward an anal fixation.

Anal fixation, Peter. Anal Fixation. Anal fixation. Anus anus anus anus anus.

I think we all know that there is only one side in this argument that truly has an anal fixation.