Commence making fun of Virginia now:
Virginia’s attorney general Ken Cuccinelli is hard at work on the important issues of the day — like making sure the Roman goddess depicted on his state’s official seal isn’t exposing herself.
The current seal shows “Virtus, the goddess of virtue, dressed as a warrior,” with her foot resting “on the chest of the figure of tyranny, who is lying on the ground.” She is holding a spear and her left breast is exposed.
Or at least it was exposed. At a recent meeting, Cuccinelli provided pins to his staff with a new seal on which “Virtus’ bosom is covered by an armored breastplate,” the Virginia Pilot reported. These new pins were not paid for by taxpayer dollars, Cuccinelli’s office insisted.
Because, you see, what if kids see it and know that ladies have boobies? Because how would they have known otherwise?
So anyway, Ken gave Virtus a full-body burkha breast-plate, presumably to keep the male conservative Republicans in the state from masturbating furiously and continuously every time they see an official document from the state of Virginia.
It was a serious problem, you guys!
This, by the way, is the original seal:
Nico Pitney reminds us that this is not the first time Ken Cuccinelli has shown himself to be a completely mentally disturbed wingnut:
Cuccinelli has previously gained national notoriety for questioning President Obama’s citizenship,rescinding protections for gays and lesbians at Virginia universities, and claiming that homosexuals engage in behavior that is “intrinsically wrong” and offensive to “natural law.”
Uh huh. Like the natural law of scary, undefined, nipple-free boobies that give Ken Cuccinelli’s friends and family funny sensations in their tingle parts.
Recall, John Ashcroft did something similar to the Spirit of Justice statue in the Justice Department’s Great Hall. Since kinda religious right nutcase, same psychotic reaction to artistic nudity.
Expect to see him start prosecuting art galleries and theaters on pornography charges in the coming years.
Personally, as one living in Virginia I wish he would spend ALL his time racing around the state covering up seals, pictures, what ever. I am sure he would cause less trouble that way. . .
I read somewhere that female amazons bared their breasts as a sign of courage and power. I think underlying this is that DA Ken Cuccinelli has a problem with female empowerment. Any female that poses a direct threat to his male power trip is seen as a threat to him…hence why he covered her breast.
That will be eighty bucks, please. LOL
Cuccinelli is a moron and an uptight prude who starches his shorts and has loads of sexual complexes, the poor sod. Very worried about what other people are doing for fun. That is just pathetic, retrograde, and going nowhere. So let’s switch over to something more fun: the big picture on that horrendous state seal.
For starters, Virtus is pretty damn butch–maybe they should tone that down a little. I mean, she might be ripe for some ex-gay reprogramming and obviously has issues with men–she just slew one, for God’s sake! At least the little Janet Jackson flash of boob brings out the softer side of this fierce warriorette.
I suggest they scrap the seal altogether–it’s very stupid to begin with–and put something nice on it like a mountain, a flower, a bear, or a bloated right wing parade float like Falwell or Robertson–you know, something that actually exists in Virginia.
When the US was founded and Washington DC was built there was a mania for Roman and Greek everything. Do we really need to keep reliving the mythological wet dreams of the founding fathers, who no doubt loved this crap because it symbolized “democracy”–Rome was a democracy full of slaves…”Perfect for us,” the founders must have thought.
Finally, I think we should have Timm Gunn, Michael Kors, Heidi Fleiss and Nina Garcia critique Virtus’ outfit just like they would on Project Runway. They’d tear it to shreads. I can hear it now: “Honey, it’s way too costumey.” “That blue is awful and the fitting is really sloppy.” “Where did you get the idea for the floppy 70s newboy hat?” “It’s just not wearable.” “What is that gray accessory she’s holding–it looks like a lava lamp.” And the best Michael Kors line of all time: “It looks like a roll of toilet paper caught in a wind storm.”
Borrowing from Tim Gunn–nothing could make this seal work. The colors are abominable, the frame is some kind of holly and mistletoe nightmare, and all around, it is some of the worst “government art” I’ve seen–and that is saying something, given the plethora of super tacky government art, ugly-a*s currency, turgid architecture and dreadful murals around the nation’s state and federal capitals.
People of Virginia–rise up and get a new logo, for God’s sake. And while you’re at it, put that pathetic lawyer, Pulcinella or Pagliacci, or whatever his name is, out of our misery.
I wonder how he feels about the confederate flag. Like the state seal, there is a long history and tradition to it, but it is offensive to some. Actually more offensive since it symbolizes horrible oppression to a whole group of people. Much bigger than a little boobie. My guess is he has no problem with proudly displaying the confederate flag.