Earlier today, we posted that NARTH’s Joseph Nicolosi – who is the leader of the rent-a-quack industry – is ducking the George Reker’s scandal (Rekers is on NARTH’s board) by going to Italy. While there, Nicolosi will spread lies about the LGBT community. Here is a translation of the Italian website that is promoting his trip. (I’m sure he’ll have lot’s of luggage to lift so far away from home).
Read the disgusting lies for yourself:
If you are facing this reality, if you feel a profound emptiness in your soul that you are unable to fill, if you have feelings that do not belong to you, if you feel in conflict with your morality and everything within you provokes sadness, internal struggles, disorder, difficulty with relationships and lack of self-esteem, do not be afraid because you are not the only one to feel this.
We know how you feel; we have been there too. We did not choose to have such devastating feelings but we have found them there like a heavy boulder without understanding why, left totally unarmed. To discover how we may confront at the root the causes of the conflict, which is not truly about sex, but rather about identity. Desire for male sex is an unwitting attempt to heal, at least for us, a deep wound called defensive detachment. This detachment can be caused by a trauma in the first years of life, or by unmet needs of affection, approval, of being accepted, and a lack of validation in childhood and youth. This is but a taste of the reparative therapy of Josef Nicolosi, found in “Male homosexuality, and New Approach” the Sugarco edition. The truth is that one is not homosexual, but a latent heterosexual.
To reveal our true male identity is possible: We were able to, and are here to give you a hand! Decide to renounce compulsive sex that has become a dependency, the love of a father, affirmation perhaps. Or perhaps that of a mentor or guide or an accountability group, it is this that we are missing or were not good enough to have. Security and self-determination are missing because of the internal wounds we sustained during the age of innocence or our need to be “one of the boys”. One of them, like them! Without relational idolatry.
There exists a vital difference between superficial admiration-for yourself or for others- and integral admiration. When we fully love ourselves, we stop being slaves of luxurious desires, approval from others, and of physical satisfaction. Our sexual impulses become intrinsic to our essence, free of neurotic confusions. Homosexuality allows us to avoid excavating the depths, beyond superficiality and the attractions inspired by lust-and will continue to be this way until receiving “approval” from the law. The result is that many will lose the opportunity to know their real selves, the one made in the image of Christ, given by god.
“luxurious desires” LOL!!!!!!!!
“To reveal our true male identity is possible: We were able to, and are here to give you a hand!”
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, ’nuff said.
I’ve always been struck by how effeminate Nicolosi is. Its hard for me to imagine that he isn’t gay.
Yes, Nicolosi seems effeminate to me too. I remember seeing a video clip where he was being interviewed on-the-fly, and he didn’t like the line of questioning. Suddenly he flounced out of the room like a prima ballerina with a hole in her tights.
I, personally, do believe that “a lack of masculinity” is indeed a serious problem for gay men in general and our success as a movement. How many times have we all seen, “No fems,” on gay dating websites? Masculinity is desirable, worthy, respected…it’s what our male community needs way more of. Nicolosi, who obviously hasn’t had the butch-upgrade training himself leaps the “Nellie Mae Clampet” argument as having anything to do with immorality. Desire for male-to-male sex has NOTHING to do with wanting to be more like the man we’re banging, anymore than his desire to be with a woman makes him want to put on a dress and grow t**s! Can’t be one and not the other.
However, in lieu of the masculine argument:
IF gay men are more effeminate THEN it is more likely they will be harrassed, beaten or subject to mockery. That might indeed have a detrimental affect on self esteem.
IF gay men are more masculine THEN it is more unlikely they will be harrassed, will fight effectively against an attacker (and win), and will draw less negative attention to themselves and the gay movement.
The old addage in the gay bar still holds true: “If I wanted to be with a woman, I’d be straight. I want to be a masculine and I want men who act like men.” The other well-known gay logic also holds true: “When does a man who wants another man go into a bar and act like a woman?” Confound the logic before you critic me. I think it makes perfect sense.
The Blacks DID NOT acheive their greater equality by crying when people hit them or cowering down when people beat them. It is incumbent upon our manhood to fight when we must fight. The vast majority of men who bash are cowards and will slither away from a real fight. If they know you’re going to run, they’ll chase you. ALL of this has to do with masculinity. ALL of these are reasons (along with the fact that masculine men are the core of nearly all gay sexuality…you got the pictures, admit it). What do you masturbate to? Muscle men or drag queens? I’m just sayin’! Yes, we were born with female brains. I know I was. I’m very much in touch with my “girl parts”. However, it’s our social responsibility to be MEN, to ourselves first and then, for the greater good of our gay community. NOW… I write all this only in my humble opinion and to those who want to be more masculine. It’s a sorta free nation. Live free. Just give fair credence where the arguments are valid. There are so many beautiful things about being male. Is it that we either hate the fact we’re male, or that we have allowed outside voices to deny us the beauty, the right, the GLORY of enjoying our penises and our sexuality fully. Maybe we’re “queer acting” because we want to be socially offensive. “Look what I can do,” like Stewart says on MAD TV. If we act like women, do we then feel less ashamed because we not only do what society expects but, we “fit” in a mold someone else created for us to fit in. We’re “supposed to” act like that. What if, we reclaim our masculinity? I say we take back our self-esteem by being free to be completely male, completely masculine. Many will disagree but, his premise does have merit. It’s his leap to irrelevant conclusions which are flawed.
No Merrell, there is not a problem with a lack of masculinity in the gay movement. At Stonewall it was the drag queens who started the fight back and lead the charge against oppression. When you say “Masculinity is desirable, worthy, respected” you’re suggesting femininity is undesirable, unworth, and disrespected – that’s a sexist and bigoted attitude, one the world can do without.
Merrel said “IF gay men are more masculine THEN it is more unlikely they will be harrassed, will fight effectively against an attacker (and win).”
Thats absurdly wishful thinking on your part. It takes more than masculinity to win a fight. You can be as masculine as you want, if you’re smaller and slower than your attacker you’re going to lose regardless. Promising gay men that they will surely come out on top in a fight if they are masculine is foolish and destructive – there’s nothing saying the attacker isn’t equally or more masculine and bigger and stronger as well.
If you want to be masculine knock yourself out, but don’t arrogantly presume to tell everyone else what they should be – its not your choice, its their’s.
We disagree. And you’re right: as an individual, you can do as you please. However, the FACTS are, our 10-15% of the population isn’t enough to pursuade the majority to our cause. People point, laugh and throw things at a FREAK SHOW because…it’s a freak show! There are few things more embarassing to me than to take my normal straight friends to a bar because they are curious about the gay lifestyle, and have Lonie Linebacker, 6′ 5″, 250# drag queen stroll by and start hitting on the husbands. I have to explain away that type of crazy by saying, “we’re all not like that.”
As a community, and a movement, you’re damn right: perception matters! So, I say, dress in your mamma’s clothes and practice the lip sync with Lady Gaga in the privacy of your own bedroom. Just realize that for whatever good those Stonewall drag queens did has been damaged and well reversed by the parade of wigs that followed them. This is about winning popular support. I can think of nothing more selfish than sacrificing the gay movement just so you can pad around in heels.
Merrell,
Wow just wow. Your post just reeks of homophobia no matter than you are gay yourself. I personally do not enjoy drag. I don’t go to drag shows. I don’t find myself particularly attracted to more effeminate men. Having said that the GLBT community is a big tent. People tell us that we should go against our nature all the time. Now you are doing the same thing to those in the community who do not fit your mold of what a gay man should be. Frankly it’s hypocritical. You are no better than the straight folk who condemn us for being gay. If that is how they truly feel than who are we to say they need to conform to make your life as a gay man easier. It takes all types.
Merrel, you’re a hypocrite. What’s selfish is asking people to pretend to be something they’re not just to suit you. That’s what the anti-gays ask of gay people – you’re no better.
It is curious Merrell has so much to say about the harmless behaviors of others being, a ‘freak show’, because they are not to his taste. On his website, we read the following:
“Merr?©ll paints and reads up on astrologically-based pyschology, the occult and is very private about his spiritual connection with The Creator.”
After reading such utter nonsense, I would say that those who, as he put it, “pad around in high heels” are perfectly sane!
Some people happen to wear seemingly unusual clothes; you happen to have hold on to 2nd century beliefs, 350 years after Newton exposed them as utter nonsense (excuse me while I laugh out loud at you). It’s best to live and let live don’t you think?
So, the answer is to attack me, the poster, instead of considering the issues. See, that is so weak and lame. Mind you, I don’t care. My points are still very valid. And they aren’t the points you’re making in my name. I get so damn tired of effeminate gays pushing the culture to accept them and now, as evidenced by the “having a mind so open the brain falls out” mentality that any standard is an abomination. My point is that it’s NOT our nature to act like women! Where exactly do you have to live to get the lisping accent? I don’t have it. The gay culture is ate up with being alcoholics while preaching to others about healthy eatting. I’m not the hypocrite. I LOVE my life. I am a great man. A real man. And, straight people who know me honor the gay civil rights causes BECAUSE of me…and I’m a Scorpio so I DO have far more sex than most, don’t hide that fact and LOVE IT! Yet, as much as I give and take of the good cockadoddle, it doesn’t make me walk funny, or put my hair up or talk with my hands like I’m landing a plane. But if that’s your thing, go nuts! I still have a very valid point that it’s HURTING our cause and it’s very selfish. PS…thank you for checking out my website. Now, peel off me.
Well all I can say is remember the movie “A Soldier’s Story,” where the character blamed Southern blacks for how all blacks were treated by racist whites. There is nothing wrong with anyone acting like who they are, whether they be “butch” or “effeminate” because those who hate will always find a reason for their venom.
Let’s not fall into their trap so much that we attack our own for being who they are.
Merrell,
It’s a fact of life that the gay community includes some men with femine traits and women with masculine characteristics. It’s also a fact of life that the hetrosexual world contains many people with personality traits others might consider distasteful. For most,our acceptance of others is much more easily attained than demanding that others change who they are.
Overt masculinity may be sexually appealing to some and is certainly widely imitated by many. However, people that have ever dealt with it on a relationship level understand it’s has a serious downside.
Overt masculinity is a personality trait that can act as a “wall” or tool which can provide an exceptional ability to avoid human interaction while assuring stunted emotional growth. Many times it also includes the need for absolute control, the dismissal of other’s opinions, quick escalations to physical force/violence and bigoted or prejudical views. Of course,not all overtly masculine people will exhibit some or all of these traits. In addition, there are some people that value this trait while fully understanding the downs
Watch out, boy, he’s got ya!
Nicolosi’s disciple has touched whatever inside you needed to be touched, and now you’re this close to agreeing that if only you had had a better masculine role model, or somehow been or learned to be more masculine growing up, you wouldn’t be gay.
Give you a bad break-up or two and you’ll be buying the mail-order course from NARTH.
And if you can re-capture your warped masculine side, girlfriend, you will get to find out if you have any chance left of living a “normal” life.
Look, you are a common sort of fellow in this regard. There have been a lot of people who have walked the path you are on now. It won’t last. Unless you want to be a bitter, resentful old Queen, ever-so-masculine, you really should look a lot closer at those people you are rejecting for such superficial reasons. We work very hard, on purpose, to not do to ourselves what others do to us. And for the most part, we are successful. We are a lot better at it than the hets, and it was out of necessity. There really aren’t that many of us in comparison, and we need each other.
After a while, you’ll learn to love those you fall in love with, no matter what anyone thinks about it. We’re not going to throw anyone overboard to get there faster, because the ship would be empty when it reached the shore.
We don’t NEED anyone to accept us, if we accept each other and ourselves.
They will treat us fairly and equally under the law, and the law will be updated and reflect the fact that we finally stopped hiding. We finally stopped accepting the extreme limitations hets put on us in order to be acceptable, and earn our equality.
I am equal because I am a human being. This nation’s Constitution guarantees everyone in this nation, citizen or not, certain inalienable rights, and AMONG those are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
I’m not equal because I am a man, or a manly man, or a nice man. I am equal because I am a human being. That is what gives me confidence and a starting point.
Jesus christ, Merr?©ll. Not just homophobic, but transphobic as well. Sexist and cissexist.
I’m a man without a penis, Merr?©ll. Where do I fit into your group of macho manly-manly gay men? Do you realize it’s attitudes like yours that get people like me killed? That trans people–and gay people, for that matter–are stigmatized and marginalized because of the insistence on binary gender norms of the sort that you insist everyone should follow?
You don’t end suffering and discrimination by catering to those who bring on the suffering and discrimination. You don’t end racism by catering to racists. You don’t end homophobia by catering to the homophobes. Yet this is exactly what you’re expecting us to do, by saying that people should hide who they are for the sake of an arbitrary standard, so that YOU can sit cozy and safe, because YOU aren’t being shunned for who you are. Why should we cater to cissexists and transphobes? Because our need to be ourselves isn’t as important as yours?
Talk about f*****g privilege.
It’s a scientific fact that people are healthier and happier when they’re not at conflict with themselves; that’s what we tell the ex-gay folks, right? You said that if people are more effeminate, then they’re just “asking for it” (just like women who are assaulted, right?). Well, if men are holding hands with men in public, or kissing men in public, or trying to get married to men and asking for legal rights, they’re “asking for it” too, right? No, because human f*****g beings deserve human f*****g rights.
Congratulations, Merr?©ll, you’ve just entered the mindset of the bigoted homophobes who would rather you disappear, and now you’re applying it to your own community. You’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
My main comment is to Makyui but, I’d like to address everyone who’s used my name. You’re right and, yes, the way I generalized & stereotyped is wrong. I apologize for being an a*****e. (I was going to say ‘insensitive’ but hey, let’s call it what it is.)
When I look at the world and “the fight” for equal rights, I don’t see people like me in the fight. However, no one deserved to be made to feel inferior or a spectacle because of my sarcity mentality. There is PLENTY of room in the Community for everyone, like Makyui said.
I live in the deep South, which has only become more violent, more anti-gay and less willing to listen in the last ten years. Holding your boyfriend’s hand in public can get you killed here…but I still do it! I see a civil war coming and so on…that’s my world. So, please know that while I do feel strongly that our culture doesn’t do enough to promote healthy, masculine relationship between men, and that much research from the haters has merit on the points of masculinity, and the bars are almost all centric to fringe and drag crowds, I would FIGHT, BLEED and STAND WITH every single effeminate, or trans-, or black, or hispanic homosexual against an attacker or abuser without a single second of hesitation. I would and I have more than once. The bashers are the real cowards. It takes four of them for one man who won’t fight back? I’m on it! Let’s do this! It’s not important enough for them to lose their life over. It is for me. …because I was once that effeminate guy who let everyone beat my a*s, or have sex with me and then go back to school and tell all the boys that I “tried to make a move on them”. I’ve had men f**k me, kissing me the whole time and then have them spit in my face and dare me to say a word with their pack of dogs standing around in a circle taking hits on me, punching me, slapping me, labeling me. They did until I stopped them. I don’t agree that fighting back encourages them to attack us. I’ve heard that argument and it’s b******t!
I noticed in myself and other gay men when we asserted our natural masculinity, take martial arts or otherwise learned to defend ourselves, the effeminate behaviors go away naturally! It had no effect on my love of the weiner! If anything, I got it more often. My thoughts were to suggest the consideration that being masculine is good for the GB part of the LGBT. Some folks make it sound like normal is defective. Anything anti-culture is good. That’s nuts. But still, what I ended up doing is trying to make my case on the backs of some really wonderful, special, sensitive, beautiful people–and that was wrong! That was stupid, and I apologize. I still hold to my opinions. I still believe there is alot of unnecessary suffering. “Why am I so lonely?” We still see the ads: “No fats. No Fems.” And instead of cursing the darkness, go to the gym and stop… well, I can’t find a good way to say this so, I’m going to leave it alone. Peace to you. There is room for everyone. There is room for every opinion. Tolerance can’t be established by intolerance.