Massachusetts Department of Public Health official Alison Brill lent the department’s name late last year to an ex-gay activist program which offered to teach evangelicals how to “love and care” for suicidal gay teen-agers — by giving their families “hope.”
A PDF flyer for the project invited evangelicals to an event that was free of input from mainstream psychiatrists or psychologists. The event was sponsored by Massachusetts ex-gay activist Bill J. Henson Jr., who heads FOTOS Ministries, an ex-gay advocacy group.
Brill is the only presenter who appeared in a non-religious, professional capacity. She is a community suicide prevention coordinator, and her position with the state is used by the ex-gay organization to imply state approval of its ex-gay ideology and its potentially harmful advice to parents and churches regarding suicidal youth.
Instead of referring families and evangelical clergy to reputable mental-health professionals, the ex-gay event flyer boasted:
FOTOS Ministries helps the evangelical community love and care for gay people in the church. Many teens struggling through sexual and gender identity issues wrestle with suicidal thoughts. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for all 10-14 year olds and the 2nd leading cause of death for all 15-24 year olds. Gay teens make up a sizable portion of these deaths. What can you do? Join us for this FREE seminar to learn more…
The flyer boldly promised attendees that they will witness “Personal Stories of Those Who Suffer” — presumably persons who identify as “ex-gay.”
The location of the seminar was kept secret.
Tom Lang of Know Thy Neighbor, a Massachusetts-based pro-equality organization, says that when he called Brill about her involvement, “she refused to discuss this with me. Evidently no one from the LGBT community knew about this AND she says ‘at least Henson does it with love.’ I told her, ‘Same message, different packaging.’”
The same flyer promised additional two ex-gay events for evangelicals in January:
Family Care: Helping evangelical families of GLBT loved ones transition from helpless to hopeful. We must love our GLBT family members where they are today. Gain biblical insights that will equip you for effective care. You are not alone…
Relational Orientation Counseling: Healing the relational “orientation” between parents and gay teens. Learn how to transform your church counseling. Stop demanding change and start healing relationships…
The events follow a typical “ex-gay” activist pattern of talking TO evangelicals ABOUT LGBT people — never allowing healthy LGBT people to speak for themselves and never acknowledging that LGBT people are qualified to lead religious, political, and professional communities.
Since then, Henson has expanded his media outreach, receiving free publicity from Associated Press “news” articles such as this one dated May 12. The article leaves Henson’s ridiculous claim about his own orientation undisputed: that he is no longer gay, even though his wife is the only woman in the world whom he is attracted to.
We have yet to see Henson or his events tell families that change does not happen; that most ex-gay activists later admit they had never changed; that ex-gay ministries’ claims about the “cause” of sexual orientation have been discredited; that LGBT people are entitled to be religious leaders, not followers; and that every mainstream U.S. mental-health organization agrees that ex-gay therapy is harmful.
Instead, we see someone who prolongs the suffering of youths by misleading their families and churches.
I think you are judging Henson’s motives a bit wrong. There was a more extensive article concerning him in the AP, here:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i7tADnxuR79MJPcf7h0C8jxGSMGQD9FLKGF80
Henson says he is “not 100 percent free of same-sex attractions,” and doesn’t expect other gays who turn to faith to end up in a straight marriage.
But that said it seems that the aim of his ministry is to heal relationships (he calls it relationship reorientation) with (I assume) one’s parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. The idea being that if those are healed and healthy then the gay or lesbian might lead a celibate life. It seems celibacy is what he is aiming for.
Alan Chambers was quoted in that AP article as saying, “We have to understand there’s so much more to a relationship to Christ and a new identity than attraction. God doesn’t want someone’s homosexuality, he wants their heart, and when he has their heart, he can do anything with them.”
I don’t doubt Henson has the same thoughts, just a little lighter on the moralization than Chambers’ rhetoric.
Yes Lynn David, he wants their hearts! He MUST have their HEARTS! Sound like a horror movie much?
the fact of the matter is why is a state official lending its name to a fraudulent program?
@Lynn, I realize that Henson may be more moderate than the average “ex-gay” activist. However, as you note, he is steering parents to expect a life of lonely celibacy from their teen-agers or young adults.
He offers no clear message or guidelines on his website, no support for antibullying measures, no input or feedback from real mental-health professionals. His re-purposing of the word “orientation” is bound to contribute to confusion. And he clearly tries to separate LGBT people from God and religious community, except to the extent that evangelicals set terms for conditional readmission.
As Tom Lang said: Same message, slightly prettier packaging.
My bigger concern is what Alvin said: State officials and social service coordinators should not be lending the state’s name to sectarian, religious, and potentially abusive religious programs.
This should be reported to the American Psychological Association’s Division 44 (LGBT caucus). I’ll send it.
All I am saying is that any concern we might have over Henson and the ‘Community Suicide Prevention Coordinator’ from the Massachusetts Department of Public Health appearing at this seminar/conference seems to be overblown. If you are evangelical or just religious and have a child who is gay and suicidal, then why shouldn’t you and those like you in your faith community have access to state help in suicide prevention? I think the assertions here have simply gone too far by demanding that only our viewpoint must be overtly espoused by the state when religion is involved.
From what I have read of Henson, it ‘appears’ that his approach is rather different than most religious anti-gays. However, the question I have about his methods is just what is “Relational Orientation Counseling?” Is it healing relationships due to the knowledge that someone in your family is gay or is it a fancy phrase meant to code for reparative therapy? I’m guessing he is hoping it works similarly to reparative therapy; though the one who needs the relationship therapy is the homophobe and not their gay or lesbian relative.
“If you are evangelical or just religious and have a child who is gay and suicidal, then why shouldn’t you and those like you in your faith community have access to state help in suicide prevention?”
Because this is the sort of “help” that ends in dead people?
There’s no problem with a religious or evangelical person getting state help. The problem is when the “help” is religiously motivated and its “help” is comforting the parents about their child’s “gayness”, rather than helping the child’s mental health. It’s like trying to get help healing a disease from a Christian Science ministry — with the backing of the government.
Because this is the sort of “help” that ends in dead people?
Every dang time?
And now getting government help due to religious motivation to stop your gay child from committing suicide is wrong? I am now an atheist though for the longest time a Catholic, yet I do not see how a religious motivation concerning your child is any different than a secular one which might be anti-gay (and while secular digust with being gay might be rather less than religious motives, it none the less does exist). I doubt a “Community Suicide Prevention Coordinator’ is worried about placating a religious tenet when it comes to the welfare of the child.
“yet I do not see how a religious motivation concerning your child is any different than a secular one which might be anti-gay (and while secular digust with being gay might be rather less than religious motives, it none the less does exist).”
Of course there is a difference. A real big one. A garden variety bigot will hate you, know that he hates you, and think it’s a good idea. A religious bigot will hate you and tell you he loves you, and tell you that he, while he is doing everything in his power to make your life as difficult and unpleasant as possible, is not judging when he is, and represents the forces of goodnees and god when, unfortunately, he only represents himself.
And he thinks it’s a good idea.
It has to be “every dang time”? Sending sick people to Christian Science clinics isn’t going to end in death “every dang time” but it’s still not a very good idea, is it? I guess a few self-inflicted, guilt-induced, religiously-motivated deaths here or there is acceptable, so long as we don’t hurt people’s feelings by pointing out that their “science” is fraudulent and their motives are selfish, eh? Or, you know, the fact that the state has no business supporting such things.
The fact of the matter is that people are harmed, profoundly. There are ex-gay “survivor” groups for a reason.
That’s just it, Lynn: there’s no secular support for anti-gay bigotry. A support group that tells suffering gay kids that they should only live a life of celibacy or they are doing wrong are working on fraudulent information and selfishness. A group that claims to help children by offering support, and then telling them that they are still wrong and need to change, either don’t realize or don’t care that THEY are the source of the suffering. Don’t pretend that people are pissy just because the dude reads a bible–though that is a problem in a secular state that shouldn’t be backing superstitious witch-doctory that hurts people.
If parents are going to a religious group instead of a trained psychologist, then they are putting their religion over the safety and well-being of their child. If an authority in charge of suicidal children is putting the bible over sound medical research, then he is putting his religion over the safety and well-being of the children. That is selfish, and that is wrong.
“I doubt a “Community Suicide Prevention Coordinator’ is worried about placating a religious tenet when it comes to the welfare of the child.”
And yet: “The idea being that if those are healed and healthy then the gay or lesbian might lead a celibate life. It seems celibacy is what he is aiming for. … ‘God doesn’t want someone’ homosexuality, he wants their heart, and when he has their heart, he can do anything with them.’” That seems to be what’s going on.
Sorry, I just cannot see how parents and family who are interested in stopping their gay child from committing suicide should be stopped from getting qualified help not only from the state but help in association with their religion to help them heal the relationships with their gay child.
I don’t see what “Christian Science” has to do with this particular example, nor do I know what the religion is like.
A support group that tells suffering gay kids that they should only live a life of celibacy or they are doing wrong are working on fraudulent information and selfishness. …. If parents are going to a religious group instead of a trained psychologist, then they are putting their religion over the safety and well-being of their child.
Perhaps to the first there is harm, then again perhaps not, in the sense that this does not appear to be what the meeting was about. Henson has said he does not inject morality/judgements into the conversation unless the GLBT person might bring it up.
As to the second, yes, parents whose child is suicidal whether gay or not should be seeking psychological help for that child. But Henson’s point is that the parents themselves need to heal their relationships (I assume that is what he means by ‘relationship orientation’). And people, whose gay child may not necessarily be exhibiting suicidal tendencies but are so worried, may actually gain good information from such a seminar. Look, I don’t know exactly what Henson says there, but having grown up in a religious family, I know parents and other family are not going to be completely accepting. But at the very least, it seems that Henson orients them towards being less condemning of their gay child (based on what I have read about him).
Yes, his ultimate goal in the life of a gay child is celibacy. But we’re talking about kids here of an age who should not be concerned with being sexually active anyway. If the major concern at that time is the family dynamic, calming down mom and dad or getting that homophobic uncle to shut up (I have experience), then I would assume that a seminar such as this is quite on point.
That is exactly what is needed in such families. Or do you propose that the child be removed from the family simply because their religion is fundamentalist Christian? I know both you and I would like to see it otherwise and have people be accepting of their GLBT children regardless of their religion, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon. I guess I am talking practically and you’re speaking from our shared hope. Sorry, but growing up in a farming Catholic family, I cannot help but being practicable.
Yeah, because it’s not like I was brought up in a religious family, too, or anything. I wouldn’t know anything about that, nope.
Christian Science groups try to heal disease and injuries through prayer and faith rather than with legitimate medical procedure. Their religion is better than medical science, and faith is better than health and happiness, a common thread shared by the ex-gay lot. I was making a comparison, because it’s putting faith over sound research, and because you implied that since death doesn’t happen “every dang time” it’s acceptable.
If a family is seeking qualified help, an ex-gay group is not the place to go. His idea of healing is to give the families “hope”. Hope for what? That the kid doesn’t have dirty icky gay sex when he’s older. What good information are they going to get? That gays don’t have to “buy into” the “gay lifestyle”? That it’s okay, so long as they marry straight or stay alone? That it’s not a huge sin, but it’s still a sin? That’s not good information.
Pointing out what age the kids are is a red herring; he’s got no business telling kids–suicidal kids–that all they can expect is a life of self-imposed segregation and that their sexual orientation makes them sinners, and he’s certainly got no business telling the family that they can expect such. It’s typical ex-gay b******t wrapped in a box of false friendship. The state has no business backing it, and religious b******t that oppresses people doesn’t need to be coddled.
Well said Makyui.
How nice, Brill’s name and connection to government anti-suicide efforts are shown first on the flyer if one reads starting from the top left of the list of presenters, as most readers of English would.
I don’t know why no one here has gotten this yet, but it seems obvious to me: What’s behind providing “hope” to fundamentalist families of suicidal gay teenagers is to shore up their anti-gay resolve, and to ideologically armor them against being receptive to the message of PFLAG and other gay-positive straight parents.
Given the sleazy, confusing imitations of PFLAG (“PFOX”) and resources from supporters of its message (for instance Richard Cohen’s anti-gay book “Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Family Healing”, clearly titled after the older, pro-PFLAG “Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together”), it should be clear that the anti-gay movement is trying to snag anti-gay parents of gay children before they get a chance to hear a message that might cause them to abandon fantasies of “change” for their children and begin the process of changing themselves to perhaps finally accept their child’s gayness and even support it.
What these anti-gay activists want is not to lose the parents from the fundamentalist fold, and they want these parents to continue as ideological agents, continually pushing their gay child to “change”, no matter where in the coming out process the child is, or how long she or he has been living an openly gay, self-fulfilled life.
The softer anti-prejudice part of their agenda is simply to get parents to lighten up on their homophobia so they don’t completely alienate those children, so that through the continuing parent-child relationship, the parents can keep pushing their child to go the ex-gay route.
You need to know when to take anti-gay activists at their word and when to look for ulterior motives. Generally speaking, like any bigot, they can’t be trusted.
Brill failed to establish clear public parameters for her participation. She provides no clue as to what advice she would provide.
Ditto with Henson. Where the risk of suicide is concerned, vague promises of “hope” combined with references to non-existent or esoteric practices such as “relational orientation counseling” are unacceptable and, indeed, life-threatening, in my view.
“The state has no business backing it, and religious b******t that oppresses people doesn’t need to be coddled.”
Well said!!