randy thomas2 150x150 Randy Thomas Shocked That Gay People Drink And Wear Bathing Suits At Florida Pool PartiesIf you ever want a good belly laugh, read blog posts from Exodus International’s Randy Thomas (see pretentious picture, left). He has this incessant need to pose as a deep, contemplative thinker, which is problematic considering he can nether write nor think in a particularly lucid manner. The dilettante’s latest humdinger was his post commenting on a Time Magazine story on Gay Day at Disney.

In his bloviation, he takes a veiled swipe at sensationalistic homophobes, such as Porno Pete LaBarbera, when he writes:

Within the Christian community it also bothers me when Christian activists will go into these events, take a few tabloid TMZ worthy pictures and then post those as the only representation of what gay people are trying to do to our country. I always maintain that stigmatizing (anyone) is not Christ-like.

Of course, Thomas quickly contradicts himself by stigmatizing LGBT people:

It worth noting that TIME actually showed both gay couples seeking to be mainstream and the gay party scene. On one hand you have the lesbian couple with children as opposed to scantily clad men at 17 different pool parties, the after hours waterpark party and “rivers of alcohol.” The article also mentions other very racy elements associated with the event.

Scantily clad men at pool parties — imagine the surprise and horror…because surely Thomas would have gone down the water slides in a fine, tailored Italian suit. Maybe, he’s just freaked out because all the hot guys are getting him excited?

How about the alarming notion of men consuming alcohol while partying? Because, of course, straight people never get sloshed at Spring Break events in Fort Lauderdale, Panama City or Daytona Beach. And, they never go half naked in body paint and get trashed at University of Florida football games. Thanks for the great, “fair and balanced” insights Randy!

Thomas, while pretending to be objective, chastises the LGBT community and urges honesty:

Yet honesty is a Christ-like attribute as well. While the gay community is much more complex than this, there is a strong dueling undercurrent within the gay community of mainstreaming vs. overt public sexuality.

As a Florida native, I can recall countless heterosexual revelers fornicating on our lovely beeches, leaving condoms in the sand, vomiting booze on our white sidewalks, pissing on our green lawns, fighting in nightclubs and behaving belligerently towards the locals.

Yet, I’m intelligent enough to realize that when you have an economy based on tourists (gay or straight) partying , this is the sacrifice you make to collect their dollars. I don’t put forth pseudo-intellectual trash, such as, “While the heterosexual community is much more complex than this, there is a strong dueling undercurrent within the straight community of mainstreaming vs. overt public sexuality.”

Look, when people come to Florida to party — they get drunk. If they are lucky, they have sex. And, inevitably, they swim, and when they do so, they are usually pretty close to naked. If Thomas can’t comprehend this, maybe he should return to Texas. Well, come to think of it, they also drink in Texas and wear swim trunks at the Galveston beaches too. There’s always Saudi Arabia…

Randy then puts on his paper dunce, um, I mean thinking cap and asks (emoticon and bold type are his):

So the open-ended no assumptions based questions icon smile Randy Thomas Shocked That Gay People Drink And Wear Bathing Suits At Florida Pool Parties for this post is: How does one describe the gay community accurately and honestly? Did TIME magazine do a good job? Is there a gender difference on community goals within the gay community? (The article contrasts lesbians with the male party scene.) What is the best way for Christians to do outreach at gay pride events?

Perhaps, Thomas doesn’t get this, but there is no real gated community which houses the ho-mo-sex-uals. The notion is metaphorical and usually has to do with the fact that we must band together to protect ourselves from self-loathing bigots like Thomas, who work hard to deny LGBT people their basic rights. To paraphrase Larry Kramer, we are more of a “population” than a community that defies easy or simplistic categorization — which appears to be a specialty of Thomas.

As for ways self-righteous phonies like Thomas can do outreach at Pride? How about staying the hell home, so hard working people can enjoy a few precious vacation days without being verbally assaulted and told they are — to quote Exodus — sexually broken?

Both straight and gay people go to Florida for drunken revelry and escapism. The last thing tourists want to hear while they are having fun is a sexually repressed, self-hating homosexual preaching about his puny, angry version of God who is constantly on sexual surveillance.

Just because Thomas has eschewed sex, does not give him the right to condemn others and demand they also live a eunuch lifestyle. Lighten up, Randy. As a carpetbagger, you might not realize that people have been going to the Florida beaches scantily clad and drinking themselves into stupors forever. Newsflash: This started long before the gay rights movement even existed. So, stop asking us to justify or apologize for having fun in the Sunshine State. It just makes you look like the small-minded bigot you truly are.