(Weekly Column)
If one ever completely screws up his or her life and wants “redemption”, there are two courses of action. The first is a name change, with the hope that no one notices the sordid past. Don’t laugh, the technique worked for ValuJet. In 1996, the airline crashed into an alligator-infested swamp, changed its name to AirTran – and presto – it was like the disaster never happened.
If this fails, just embrace Option 2: become a born-again Christian fundamentalist. Who cares how many people you have screwed – the flaky flock will love you! How about the innocent victims you’ve whacked? No problem — they’ll still want you back!
Time and again, fundamentalists buy the fantasy that the world’s worst reprobates can fundamentally change. It never seems to occur to these credulous Christians that perhaps they are being had by the unusually bad.
Of course, I’m not saying that people are incapable of transforming their lives. Each day, 
individuals make choices to better themselves. However, the eagerness and ease at which some Christians blindly accept total, comprehensive reinvention is disconcerting. They often seem so anxious to show that Jesus has special powers, that they’d probably confuse a miracle with Miracle Whip if it fit their agenda.
The latest lunacy involves the alleged conversion of David Berkowitz, who is better known as “The Son of Sam”. In 1977, Berkowitz was arrested for using a .44 caliber pistol to kill 6 people and wound 7 more in New York City. The psychopath apparently took orders from a demonic black Labrador retriever owned by a neighbor.
Even with a disturbing past worthy of a Stephen King novel, The New York Times reports this week that gullible evangelicals have lined up to declare the Son of Sam a new man. Just as Focus on the Family embraced convicted Watergate felon Chuck Colson after he found God, they are playing a leading role in rehabilitating the image of Berkowitz.
According to the Times article, the Son of Sam’s extreme makeover started in 2003 after Focus on the Family interviewed him on its 
radio show. The sympathetic segment centered on his difficult childhood, the shooting spree and his conversion to Christianity. This interview was aired in 2,000 U.S. outlets and in more than 50 countries. In other words, the man who took so many lives now has a new lease on life, thanks to these wide-eyed saps. He’s even a mini-celeb in some evangelical circles, and regularly corresponds with big-haired Christian television host RoxAnne Tauriello.
Fortunately, not everyone is buying the fairytale of transformation.
“It’s a total charade to promote himself,” Joseph Coffer, the police sergeant who took Berkowitz’s confession, told The New York Times. “I have had people who I sent to prison or put in the witness protection program find religion because it suits them by providing access to the outside world.”
Bingo.
Sure, reading the Bible might help some people give up booze or treat their neighbor a bit kinder. But, one has to be a total sucker to believe that religion can fix a man who ruthlessly murders people at the behest of a satanic canine. Psychological problems of this magnitude run much deeper — and unless Jesus Christ is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, he isn’t going to magically fix the Son of Sam.
Thanks to the slick, if not sick, public relations efforts by Sam’s fundamentalist fans, the murderer now has his own little kingdom. His followers have set up a fancy website featuring an array of DVD’s, CDs’ and a book of his prison journals, “Son of Hope”. Who knew the whole “saved slasher” genre would be so popular?
But, seriously, it is not coincidental that the same naive crowd that believes that people can “pray away the gay” also believes that the Son of Sam isn’t really the Son of Scam. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve witnessed evangelical rallies where the crowd appears to believe that the stereotypical homosexuals on stage have actually gone straight.
It does not matter how ridiculous these “ex-gays” look. Or, how utterly non-credible these fantastical stories may be, the people at these over-heated, over-the top revivals buy the loony lines nearly every time. When questioned about their views, they usually offer canned answers, such as, “God could turn a Chevy into the space shuttle if he wanted, so why can’t he cure a homosexual?”
Perhaps he can do all these neat little tricks. But, only fundamentalists swear that such superstitious magic actually happens on a regular basis. In their fascinating world, God is “healing” gay people by the thousands and Jesus is busy transforming David Berkowitz into a model citizen.
I do understand that such notions are driven by faith – but there is a point where blind faith becomes banal foolishness.
Tags: Alan Chambers, Chuck Colson, David Berkowitz, ex-gay, Focus on the Family, Joseph Coffer, NARTH, religion, RoxAnne Tauriello, serial killer, Son of Sam, suckersRelated posts
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those nutjobs born again evangelical loonatics are a very serious treat to society! when is this country going to finally speak up and warn our citizens that these various religions are delusional and yet they are trying to force it down other peoples throat! If we don’t get this under control, god help us all.
Comment by geglesias — July 13, 2010 @ 6:21 pm
what is interesting is that those “christians” who ascribe to these amazing conversions or change episodes are the very ones who ascribe to a New Testament that says in Matthew 24 – For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders.”
Comment by KyleJL — July 13, 2010 @ 6:32 pm
Christian serial killer groupies. Who ever would have thought…?
Comment by John — July 13, 2010 @ 7:59 pm
Yep those Manson family girls found “god” as well. The minute they realized they would never get out of jail.
Comment by Eric — July 13, 2010 @ 8:04 pm
Sometimes I think I should go back to Christianity just so they have at least one reasonably clear thinker – such thought is, of course, not original with me.
Comment by Anne Wayman — July 13, 2010 @ 8:39 pm
Evangelicals like to prey on captive audiences (like those in prisons or institutions) and those who are vulnerable (in crisis, sick, dying). They know such individuals are less able, or even unable to resist their advances and are perfect targets for proselytism and conversion. They don’t mind that many of the conversions they get are from people who are fearful and desperate, or suffering from decreased mental capacity. Nor do they care if people claim conversion solely to impress others (such as parole boards). As long as they get their chits for their church and their god they don’t care how many people they deceive, whether directly or by proxy.
Comment by Buffy — July 13, 2010 @ 8:40 pm
Geglesias and Buffy, I think you’re making gross overgeneralizations about evangelicals. You’re right about Christian Right predators like Chuck Colson, Pat Robertson, and other televangelists, megachurch profiteers, and predatory opportunists. But your characterization of ordinary run-of-the-mill neighborhood churches is about as fair as, oh, say, Tea Party talk about Kenyan presidents and Jewish bankers.
Comment by Michael Airhart — July 14, 2010 @ 12:39 am
Quote: ‘…his conversion to Christianity.’
Oh – so does that now mean he will be advocating the marginalisation or imprisonment or even the death of gays and other people who don’t fit the current bigoted doctrines of contemporary ‘christianity’?
Blimey – what a con!
Comment by Ian Bower — July 14, 2010 @ 7:13 am
Part of being a sociopath is that most of them are master manipulators like Ted Bundy and probably Berkowitz as well. I wonder if the fundos would agree to have Berkowitz put into an MRI and have his brain scanned while he’s being shown violent images like people being shot in parked cars. I’d bed the pleasure centers of his brain would still light up like Rockefeller Center’s Christmas tree.
Comment by Gary (NJ) — July 14, 2010 @ 10:38 am
Is it really a surprise that Christians would forgive a man whose dog told him to kill people? I mean, they believe burning bushes and snakes told people to do things.
Comment by Daniel — July 14, 2010 @ 11:34 am
Among all the cures credited to God, including the curing of thousands and thousands of homos, why has God never cured an amputee?
http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/
Comment by Richard Rush — July 14, 2010 @ 1:58 pm
FUNDAMENTALIST is such an interesting word. It contains other words that help us illuminate the nature of fundamentalists:
FUND – because fundamentalists need you to send money to fund their persecution campaigns against homosexuals.
FUN – because fundamentalists are sometimes a lot of fun to watch (when they are not persecuting others).
MENTAL – because fundamentalists are just plain nuts!
Comment by Richard Rush — July 14, 2010 @ 2:15 pm
Actualy spirtuality can help a person change but only if they aren’t sociopaths who can’t even comprehend that other people have the right to exist.
Comment by Paen — July 14, 2010 @ 3:54 pm
Spirituality can also make people change from people who may have just lived their lives into people who drive planes into buildings, bomb gay bars and healthcare clinics, and shoot people in churches.
Comment by Daniel — July 14, 2010 @ 4:23 pm
I agree, Michael.
I am not an “evangelical” myself; however, evangelicals are a large and very diverse group – and I can think of many who are among our fiercest advocates and change agents. Just to name a few,
Rev. Dr. Mel White
Rev. Dr. Troy Perry
members of the Metropolitan Community Church who consider themselves evangelicals…
Comment by Christine — July 14, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
White and Perry are both great people who have done great work–but this whole “we can’t paint them all from the same brush because there are so many of them” is weak. Until I hear more of them (especially those who aren’t gay) speaking out and working against the opression of these religionists I will continue to think of them as mostly anti-gay.
Comment by Becky — July 14, 2010 @ 6:40 pm
[...] Jesus and the Son of Scam. Read more [...]
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This reminds me of one of the small controversies that comes up in many Christian communities: sinners who repent seem to get a lot more attention and respect than those who have lived righteous lives from the beginning. It actually gets the righteous people a little upset to see an ex-con welcomed into their community and celebrated for putting the evil life behind him. Berkowitz is another trophy for these groups, someone they can use to promote their different ministries or whatnot because they know his name if famous enough to draw attention. The whole thing is a bit sad. What’s even sadder is that the NY Times treats this whole thing a bit too deferentially. They should know better. This man is a murderer.
Comment by barb — July 15, 2010 @ 6:11 pm
[...] a couple of weeks ago, I wrote the following: If one ever completely screws up his or her life and wants “redemption”, there [...]
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