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Posted July 14th, 2010 by Evan Hurst

It’s so hard to tell.  On the subject of DADT repeal (if it ever happens):

WASHINGTON—As Congress prepares to allow gay individuals to serve openly in the military, those against the proposed change voiced their concerns Monday, warning the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” could soon lead to strong, strapping American soldiers engaging in mind-blowing homosexual intercourse right on the battlefield.

“We’re sending our soldiers out there with a mission, and that mission is to protect this country,” said Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), one of many conservative politicians who staunchly oppose the change. “If this is repealed, what’s to stop all-night sex romps from breaking out while U.S. servicemen are hiding in a bunker, or crawling around an irrigation ditch bathed only by the light of the moon, or, say, the dozens of other situations I’ve already thought through in elaborate detail?”

“We can’t allow this to happen,” Gohmert added as beads of sweat collected on his brow. “It’s wrong. Sweaty male sex—no matter how erotic and uninhibited—is so wrong and so, so naughty.”

Yeah, it’s The Onion, but how is this different, exactly, from the bullshit anti-gay morons like Gohmert have been spewing on the subject?  The piece is funny, but it pretty much reads like straight news.

(And yes, you should read it all, as you do not want to miss the John McCain quote at the bottom.)

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2 Comments »

  1. I LOVE The Onion! Satire at its finest!

    Comment by Ray Sager — July 15, 2010 @ 4:09 pm

  2. That reads pretty much like anything Porno Pete would write, except a bit less tawdry.

    Comment by Buffy — July 15, 2010 @ 6:10 pm

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