I took the JONAH scandal to Wonkette, because I could.  Here’s your first paragraph, and then go read the rest:

Do you find yourself to be “gay and Jewish,” but wish you could shake the “gay” part? Well, then just remove your pants, stand in front of this mirror and stroke yourself for me, and you’ll be the lady-romancing “Eric Cantor” of your local shul before you know it! The senior counselor for JONAH, (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality … no, really!), the nation’s largest Jewish “pray away the gay” group, which actually exists, has been caught using extremely creative and sexually abusive methods to de-gay his clients.

[Wonkette:  Jewish 'Ex-Gay' Group JONAH Pioneers 'Take Off Your Pants, Touch Yourself' Method of De-Gayification]