Good news, handy lesbians, gays, and all other nice people: The two or three hundred most obnoxious Home Depot customers have decided to take their business elsewhere! So if you have any handy home projects you’ve been meaning to work on, this would be a good time to visit your local Home Depot and buy what you need. I was going to buy a couple of bookshelves next week, BUT MAYBE NOW I WILL WHITTLE THEM OUT OF WOOD, WITH TOOLS.
Also, give your local Home Depot a call and let the manager know how grateful you are for their support for the rights and happiness of ALL their customers.
Note to wingnuts: If you start going to Lowe’s or something, that’s fine, but they offer domestic partner benefits, so you run the risk that the money you spend on lumber to build your Home School Intelligunt Desine Classroom could potentially go to pay for health insurance benefits for one of their gay employees. Also, note to wingnuts doing home improvement projects in general: If you, in the course of fixin’ something, get a boo-boo, you need to know that ALL major drugstores (Walgreen’s, CVS, Rite Aid) are pretty decent supporters of LGBT equality, so you should probably abstain from purchasing any medicine for said boo-boo. AND if the boo-boo heals on its own without turning gangrenous and you find yourself hungry, you probably should avoid The Olive Garden, which is probably one of your favorite Fancy Places, because they’re pretty high on the equality list. And if you’re thirsty during your meal, continue to avoid all Coke and Pepsi products. AND SO ON. Click here to see all the things AFA wingnuts can’t do anymore, if they have an ounce of integrity.