Y’all, this is the funniest thing on the entire internet right now. Kevin Dujan, the gay wingnut writer of Hillbuzz.org, has written a long, meandering whine about how nobody will go out with him on dates or remain in a relationship with him, due to the fact that he loves Sarah Palin so much. It’s basically self-inflicted stigmata:

Now that I no longer consider myself a Democrat, but some kind of independent since the Democrat Party is so unrecognizable to me, I’m proud to be a supporter of Governor Palin’s and have made a personal pledge to do everything I can to see her become our next president. I believe in her. I know she loves this country. I have read everything she has ever written and have been closely following every word she’s spoken since she was announced as McCain’s VP pick. I have yet to disagree with anything she has said or done.

She IS our next president, you betcha, and I will continue, every day, to do all I can to see that happen.

Oh. Lord.

[W]hile I was at that party, and talking to this guy named Keifer, and chatting about just every day things that didn’t matter, I realized Keifer liked me and kept the conversation going hoping for more. I enjoy when people talk about their pets, or when old people ramble through stories that don’t matter to anyone else, because I love how sweetly they all talk about these nonsensical things so close to their hearts. Keifer started in on his cat, and how it does this, that, or the other, and the stories were legitimately boring to anyone but me, but I enjoyed them all the same because it was this little insight into a person I doubt they share with too many others. Jacobi, being gorgeous and in prime physical shape, used to love talking about his cat too (a monster, who was jealous of anyone else getting near Jacobit, so he’d bite and scratch me the whole time I was in Jacobi’s apartment)…the only time Jacobi would talk about anything besides how gorgeous and in-shape he was, or how much people loved and hitted on him. Those cat stories, however, revealed a Jacobi that was surprisingly sweet, playful, and interesting. Which is not the impression he gives off of himself 95% of the day.

So, Keifer’s cat stories had me interested…until he started in how something his cat did was “dumber than Sarah Palin’s retarded baby”.

Oh, no! To be fair, he didn’t say the cat was dumber than Sarah, which would have been too far.

I told Keifer that calling anyone “retarded” is wrong, and that Trig Palin is a hero of mine.

Okay, nothing against Trig, but he’s this guy’s hero? Although, to be fair, he does show a bit more stick-to-it-ive-ness than his mother, Snow Grifter.

So then, the guy ended up throwing his beer at Kevin Dujan, which is always rude, but probably does not merit long, whiny internet posts. To be fair, the “Kiefer” guy sounds like a loser, but really, losers are not in short supply.

Whenever these people bad-mouth Governor Palin or insult little Trig, I know I have a choice to make: either I have to stand up for people I believe in and admire, or I can be a coward and say nothing, allow them to be besmirched, because I am in Leftist territory and vastly outnumbered. This makes me flash to Catholic school, where Sister Francis Borgia taught me in second grade the story of Peter denying Jesus thrice before the rooster crowed one morning. He had three chances to stand up for who and what he believed in, and he took the coward’s way out because he was afraid of the Romans.

Well, I’ll take a beer to the face, or even a punch, for Governor Palin and little Trig any day. I’ll accept whatever nasty thing the Left wants to do today, willingly, because I am tired of seeing people run in terror from these lunatics. I am sick to death of watching Republicans buckle when threatened by the Daily Kos crowd, and I’m so very tired of conservatives allowing the Left to run roughshod over this country because they are scared of the Left targeting them for resisting.

When people make fun of Sarah and Trig, Kevin knows what Calvary must have been like.

There is so much more to this heartbreaking tale, and it is epic. Go forth and read it all!

[h/t Joe]