Note: Originally I called this video “Hilarious MONDAY Video,” so you can all feel free to make fun of me for not knowing what day it is.
We didn’t really talk about the fact that my favorite right-wing nutjob, Lou Engle, had one of his “TheCall” rallies in Sacramento this weekend. Kyle at Right Wing Watch said it was mostly boring and sparsely attended. So, now you’re caught up! There was a TheCall rally in Sacramento, it was boring, and featured low attendance.
But there was one funny part when right-wing stand-up comic/crazy-lady-in-chief Cindy Jacobs got up and just prayed and repented her little heart out, for forgiveness from all the lesbianism and “girl-on-girl kissing.”
Kyle provides the video and the amazing transcript:
I want to talk as a mother to the young women today. We know that it’s not just the men who have a problem with pornography and I want to say it like this: girl-on-girl kissing, lesbianism is a plague on our society today.
And I want to read the word of God and I want us to pray. Roman 1: 25 says those who exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator blessed forevermore, for this reason God game them up to vile passions where even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.
I’m going to call on the women and I want to say that it’s time for us to repent.
This girl-on-girl kissing, Madonna kissing Britney Spears, and what happened to Britney after that and a lot of other things. I know we’re going out over worldwide television. I want to tell you, bisexuality, every kind of perverse thing, the Bible calls this sin. And I want the women of God to kneel down right now and we are going to put a stop to this in our generation and we are going to say “No More!”
(Jacobs begins shouting)
And I want to say to you, this gender mainstreaming that says that you don’t know if you’re a boy or a girl until you have sex with both, boy or girl, has got to stop. If we agree right now that there is a holiness movement coming, we decree in the name of Jesus that men and women are going to be their natural use, in the name of Jesus.
One of you young women want to repent for that, lesbianism?
You see, Britney’s problems weren’t substance abuse, irresponsibility, and immaturity. NO! It was that one time Madonna stuck her tongue in Britney’s mouth, which passed the Sapphic Demon into Britney’s innocent “Hit Me Baby One More Time” mouth, that caused the trouble.
And um, I have never heard of a person that doesn’t know if they’re a boy or a girl until they’ve had sex with both. I think this is one of Cindy Jacobs’ frequent hallucinations.
So anyway, all lesbian readers, please repent, in the comments section. Thank you.
The rage in her voice … she almost sounds manic in her homophobia. Assuming that it isn’t an act, where is all her rage coming from? Frankly, can’t she find a constructive outlet for it instead of lashing out at LGBT people?
Um…didn’t Madonna ALSO kiss Christina Aguilera? How come her life seems to be relatively un-fucked-up?
For that matter-wasn’t the girl-on-girl kiss a two-way street?
Britney kisses Madonna and then, later, her life gets messed up.
Madonna kisses Britney and then…well, her life pretty much goes on the way it always does.
So I guess the lesson to be learned here is: Cindy is not only crazy, she’s also really, really stupid.
“…this gender mainstreaming that says that you don’t know if you’re a boy or a girl until you have sex with both, boy or girl, has got to stop.”
Oh, so THAT’S what being gay or lesbian is all about. Listening to Cindy Jacobs has finally got it into my thick head. I really can’t imagine why, as a gay man, I’d never realised it before.
If I didn’t know better I’d think this was a parody, but not very good because it’s much too over-the-top. But then you feel the horror – this is reality in the USA. In 2010.
Holy Crap what a horrible voice and a UGLY woman. Did this a*****e ever read the book of Ruth? That’s also in the Old Testament.
Girl on girl kissing is a huge ratings grabber, so I don’t see it stopping anytime soon. besides, it’s fun!
Yeah, and the other half of that kiss, Madonna, has done quite well for herself. Maybe she can introduce Cindy Jacobs to that Kabala to calm her down. The fundamentalist Christianity thing seems to be driving Jacobs over the edge.
I thought this was a joke for the first couple of minutes!
You people are lost and confused. Our world is going to hell, everyone will not be saved. You can make fun of religion, dogma, passion, even prayer. But woe be to you that mocks the Holy Spirit. I doubt you all even know who that is. Enjoy and reap your pain, it is what you have sewn.
lore– the word is sown. you should get some real lore.
People mock the holy spirit all the time– about 2/3 of the world’s population think he/she/it is a myth. they seem to be doing just fine.
Oooo, the holy spirit, he’s so scary, look at me I’m the holy spirit, I’m coming to get you, Oooo…
Lore, Am I to understand you to say the “Holy Spirit” is a person? I think that might be blasphemy or at least a terrible confusion on your part.
As gandalf said:
Find me someone with less lore and more wisdom!”
Seems like he was a prophet as well!
Sorry, Lore, your god is actually actively creating (or passively, by letting it happen) intersexed people. Read up on AIS (androgen insensitivity syndrome) people, most of whom identify as female, but some as male. When you can tell me which gender AIS people are, get back to me…which you never will, because you cannot answer the question, as much you would like to or claim to!
Let’s see I think it’s clear God didn’t create people to sin in adultery, fornication or homosexuality. Check His Word if you doubt that…so, that leaves evolution as the culprit…oh, wait, if that were true, nature would be creating beings that can’t reproduce. I believe survival of the fittest doesn’t quite apply, since w/o heteros queers wouldn’t exist.
That leaves homosexual conduct as a life CHOICE, not genetic.
Frankly I could care less what you do with what’s between your legs. Queers will suffer the same in judgment as adulterers and fornicators. But stop trying to MAINSTREAM you perversion. I don’t see adulterers teaching my kids that their lifestyle is okay. Go back in the closet and shut up.
It’s obvious, Caring Christian, that you have no understanding of evolution beyond what your pastor, who has no understanding of science either, tells you.
Education: It’s okay to get one!
“Caring” Christian your god is supposed to be all powerful and all knowing. That being the case he knew when he created each adulterer, fornicator, and gay exactly how they’d turn out. If he didn’t want them to be that way they obviously wouldn’t be that way. The creations of an all knowing and all powerful god are necessarily exactly as he wanted them.
So, “caring” christian that means you should also stop trying to MAINSTREAM your perversion. Stop trying to teach our kids your lifestyle is okay – get into the closet and shut up.
“so, that leaves evolution as the culprit…oh, wait, if that were true, nature would be creating beings that can’t reproduce.”
And since you’re such an expert on evolution, you would know about… oh, the Super Uncle hypothesis, or the fact that gay relatives are linked to increased fertility in women.
Clearly, since an expert such as yourself seems to think that there’s no such thing as recessive genes, or that relatives can carry them, it must be true.
After all, your holy book says it must be true, and it’s the book that says goats inherit stripes and spots by looking at sticks.
…OH WAIT.
Nevermind the fact that gay people can reproduce and do so frequently, are you seriously saying that (straight) people who are congenitally sterile chose to be sterile?
You are silly.
I’m sure that you have also twisted evolution to mean whatever will justify your disease. I do pray for all the sexually immoral. I don’t hate you, I hate your disease (sin). Take a chance and believe Jesus for just one day. He may have mercy on you, as he did me. I used to be a serial adulterer and fornicator. I’ve been forgiven, and so can you. God bless. Now Ive got to shower and disinfect!
Caring Christian,
Please check your attitude. It’s not Biblical because you are not “telling the truth in love”.
1. Prove that it’s a disease.
2. “I don’t hate you, just your disease” is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Do you tell cancer patients, “I don’t hate you, just your cancer, so please repent your cancer and come to Jeeeezus”?
3. Prove that it’s immoral.
4. Some of us are Christian or come from Christian backgrounds, so asking us to believe in Jesus “for just one day” is senseless.
5. Prove that being gay is anything that requires forgiveness.
6. Get a g*****n clue.
7. People who don’t hate other people don’t claim to want “disinfectant” after online contact, you fraud.
Hey guys/gals/tweeners, BOB just proved a point here. Your very existence depends on moral people/Christians maintaining our values, because w/o our love and restraint and our moral laws, evil would destroy you w/o prejudice, ie school bullies, and all the other haters. You’re welcome, and like it or not you couldn’t exist w/o us.
And all you Muslim sympathizers out there, ie Demo-rats, if they ever got control, queers would be the first to go…do you prefer stoning or beheading? I’d vote Tea Party if I was light in the loafers. I did vote TP, and yes, ur welcome again.
Oh, nevermind, it’s a troll.
Its ok, we’ll keep praying for you guys. Love you.
Makyui, it’s eight…eight is after 7, please proceed. Confession is the first step in healing. What rage! Someone doth protest too much, I fear. Pride comes before the fall. You are due big time. My shower awaiteth. You know I could have this conversation w/o becoming violent, could you?
You think teabaggers are going to protect us from Big Scary Muslims?
Lol, Caring Christian, you’re a funny kinda idiot.
Caring Christian, I did not prove your point and you are using language that makes me believe you are one of the caring people you think you are.
Crap, I meant you are NOT one of the caring peopele you think you are.
CRAP, I meant not one of the caring people…
Aaaw, I used a dirty word that hurt someone’s feewings.
Caring Christian, I pose the same challenge to you that I did to Lore in # 14 (reposted here).
Sorry, Lore, your god is actually actively creating (or passively, by letting it happen) intersexed people. Read up on AIS (androgen insensitivity syndrome) people, most of whom identify as female, but some as male. When you can tell me which gender AIS people are, get back to me…
Evan, conservatives are certainly our only best hope. Obahillary will have us answering to Muslim prayer calls if they continue on this path. Seriously, does the gay community really think that Islam is in any way compatible with it’s interests? We’re down to choosing between the lesser of many evils here. Do you hate what created this country so much ( Christians), that you would intentionally curry favor with Satan himself to be mainstreamed! Because w/ o God that’s all that’s left, isn’t it? The real anti-gays are not Christians, my friends, they are everyone else w/o God.
Caring Christian, you might like to be aware of the fact that for all your bigotry and misguided comments and thoughts, your God will still forgive you and love you.
Me, not so much.
I don’t hate you, as I don’t know you well enough to hate you, but I do dislike you because you mouth the same, tired, biblically based tropes that are seen far and wide. But if you ever actually read that book of yours, you would find it full of a LOT of things that people don’t believe in anymore, like slavery, killing your disobedient children, and eating shrimp. But I don’t expect you to believe any of this (no matter how true it is, and if you doubt me, go look it up!) because it appears that rational thought is an ability that you have yet to master, if you have even tried it. Keep on listening to Glenn Beck and FOX News, as that will make you feel better about the obvious impotence you feel regarding your ability to function in a world that has people radically different from whatever life experiences you currently have.
From your book: New International Version (©1984)
“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
And since you obviously weren’t paying attention when you first heard this, it not only means you are supposed to love your fellow man, but when you act like a bigoted jerk to ANY of the children of your God (and yes, Gay and Lesbian, Transgendered, Bisexual, etc. are PART of that family), you are being a bigoted jerk towards your Lord and Savior.
Way to make Baby Jesus cry, sport. I’ll bet he can’t WAIT to thank you for that behavior! Have fun in the afterlife!!!!
“Caring Christian”? My mother’s hairy sphincter!
And more importantly, where does this Islamist stuff come from? Can you cite some real, hard facts to back it up? Other than the crap regularly spewed by the TeaBagger right? Some facts, please?
When you have a moment.
Phil, I refer you back to my comment #19, and you can throw in those ridiculous genetic justifications along with fictional evolution. No offense, of course, I realize you’re a sensitive guy.
Honey, we oculd SO exist without you, and all of the other religious nutjobs out there?
In fact, our likelihood of EVERYONE continuing to exist is inversely related to whether or not you deep down rleigious ppeople do.
I sincerely wish that Jesus, mohammed, and moses form a posse and sweep all of their truly true believers off to the heaven that you are so sure awaits you. Then the rest of us oculd relax.
Caring Christian,
Do you think Gay people should be prohibited from teaching children in public schools?
I didn’t say a word about evolution. I am talking genetics. All you have done is evade my question…most likely because you can’t answer it.
What would it kill you to research AIS so that you can answer my question? Prove me wrong, and I’ll be quiet.
I’m not going to argue whether or not homosexuality is a choice. The fact remains that there are intersexed children born who made no choice about their birth “condition”.
“No offense, of course, I realize you’re a sensitive guy.”
Says the person who thinks “g*****n” = violence, LOL.
Its hilarious how christians come to LGBT web sites spewing hate and bile, fantasizing about us being eternally tortured and then claim to be caring and not hateful. Sure, we get it hateful christian, you “love” us nudge nudge, wink wink just like your god “loves” those people you fantasize he’s eternally torturing. Hateful christian, I love you too.
Hateful christian who are are attracted to is a core part of our being. If you hate that you hate the person, you can’t seperate the two.
Hateful chrisitan, a disease is something that interferes with the normal pursuit of life. Gayness does not do that and is therefore not a disease – every major mental and physical health organization agrees.
One at a time, girls. MirrorPuff, this is what Islam thinks of your lifestyle, and why you should be in church on Sunday:
“Sodomy is one of the most gruesome and detested crimes, the punishment for do so is also one of the harshest penalties, it is the capital punishment….The punishment is obviously hard, but the crime is of a harder effect on the society if the culprits are let go unpunished. They should not be allowed to live in society, for the epidemic they could spread is overwhelming. Imagine a society with a bunch of sodomites living in it. It will be a society without chastity, morality of virtue, because these values will be executed and killed. Certainly, executing these sick and dangerous sodomites is much better and safer for the society than executing morality, chastity and virtue.”
“Some people claim that a sodomite is genetic, but this is wrong. A sodomite is an evil habit, like alcohol. It can start as a trail and experiment and then turn into addiction and disease.”
Shouldn’t you all be voting Teabagger???
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_isla2.htm
Hateful christian, many of your christian friends say the same thing. The choice is not between anti-gay muslims and anti-gay teabaggers, it is between those and Democrats who would advance equal rights for LGBTs. No LGBT is going to take your advice and shoot themselves in the foot.
“Teabagger” = yup, definitely a troll.
Funny you should say what Islam thinks of gays, CC, because what you wrote could have, and often does, come out of the mouths of a lot of the Right Wing Republicans in this country, and a hell of a lot more of the TeaHadists out there, like O’Donnel, Angle, Paladino, and just about every other nutjob freakazoid with an axe to grind.
“Some people claim that a Chstianity is genetic, but this is wrong. A Christian is an evil habit, like alcohol. It can start as a trail and experiment and then turn into addiction and disease”
It’s a lifestyle choice you made. All you have to do is choose not to be a Christian, and you will be saved! Sound familiar?
And the only tea bag I plan to vote for is Earl Grey. Or is that too french for you?
And MirrorPuff?
Really?
Did you go to school for that?
Your parents must be so proud….
Folks, I’m not trying to spew hate and bile at you. I honestly believe there is a loving God who created us all. He didn’t create you to sin homosexually any more than he created me to commit adultery and fornication. But He will bring each of us to a point where we recognize our sinful lifestyles and has provided salvation from it through His Son, Jesus.
You’ve heard it all before. Respond next time ur conscience let’s you hear truth, and God will save you, not only from the very real hell, but from yourselves. He does love you, but not your sin. You CHOSE that.
And Priya dear, ur already being punished thru ur lifestyle, but it doesn’t have to be eternal.
Priya, the difference in a Christian and a Muslim’s opinion of the gay lifestyle is mainly that they will kill you for it. We just try to get you to repent, and be saved.
Recently, president Imanutjob, in Iran, said there were no homosexuals in Iran. If it’s genetic, I wonder what happened to them?? Maybe they were voted off the Island.
Again, CC, there is a lot of stuff in the Bible regarding homosexuality, rape, killing your children, wearing clothes of multiple cloths, eating shellfish, etc.
You are taking a mighty stand against homosexuality, I will grant you that.
But how do you feel about the sin of polyester? (And polyester IS a sin! Trust me on this!)
Red Lobster?
Men who have sex with their wives when menstruating?
All biblical sins which scream UNCLEAN at the top of their lungs.
How much have you written about those lately? Because I am sure the number of men having sex with their wives during their period is a number WAY higher than the number of gay people in America.
Unless you think the Gulf Oil Spill was god’s way of keeping people away from the shrimp?
(said in wide-eyed innocence) ‘Why are you so offended by my disgusting bigotry? Why can’t we have a rational discussion about why you are evil?