I wonder if any gay people might be interested in a long post called “Who is the Greatest Diva of the Last 25 Years?”
The good scientists at The Awl devised a system to find out, so if you want to read something that’s both fun and informative, go check it out:
By way of eulogy to the dying animal that is the Diva, my crack team of consultants, statisticians and graphic designers have assembled DIVA-OFF 2010, a highly scientific (we used computers!) evaluation of the greatest divas of the past twenty-five years. A list of divas was evaluated on eleven levels of diva-ness, and, because each diva characteristic is not created equal, we scaled the values in the hopes of creating an aggregate diva number that will serve as a reference point for future generations.
Science! Here are the finalists:
After months of consultation, the crack team came up with the following list: Aretha, Barbra, Beyonce, Celine, Diana, Etta, Gladys, Mariah, Mary J, Whitney and Jordin Sparks. We included Jordin Sparks as a control, meaning, because Jordin Sparks sucks and sucks in a really boring way, she could provide a necessary context for how a really boring, shitty singer might rate out on the scale. We did not include Madonna because for a diva to really be a diva, the majority of her career must be built on the strength of her voice. Yes, it’s debatable whether or not everyone on our list fulfills this requirement, but none fail as disastrously as Madonna. Given the parameters we set up, there is simply no way to evaluate her without throwing off the entire system. Some others that would obviously have been included just a few years ago—Christina Aguilera, we’re looking at you!—have deemed themselves ineligible. (See also: outliers that seem like they are divas but are not, such as Grace Jones, Pink, etc.)
Go see who won [it should be obvious, if you think about it], and watch their collection of truly iconic diva videos!
I’ll be back in a few with a Serious Post.
Tags: divas, duh it's Whitney Houston, just for fun, music10 Comments »
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Barbra.
Hands down.
Politically engaged, enlightened, and generous (in funds and spirit). She understands religion-based bigotry and oppression and exemplifies the love and commitment required “Tikkun olam” (to repair the world).
She even has an openly gay son with Elliott Gould.
Nuff said.
Comment by Christine — September 8, 2010 @ 5:38 pm
Anita Bryant.
She rules. And good ole’ Anita likes orange juice with her Jesus. You all do know I’m originally from Florida, right?
Comment by Wayne Besen — September 8, 2010 @ 6:00 pm
At the risk of being a heretic, personally I have to go with Sarah Brightman.
Comment by Richard Rush — September 8, 2010 @ 6:29 pm
I would like to lodge a complaint against the architects of this so-called “study”. I’m appalled, frankly, that Patti LaBelle is nowhere to be mentioned. If the baseline selection must be made with regard to vocal ability, then let’s get real, honey. (Also: Where’s Cyndi?)
Comment by JTW — September 8, 2010 @ 11:53 pm
Where in the hell is Bette Midler?
Comment by Don Craddock — September 9, 2010 @ 9:36 am
I take exception to the pick of the “control” singer.
To quote: “Jordin Sparks sucks and sucks in a really boring way, she could provide a necessary context for how a really boring, shitty singer might rate out on the scale.”
Really?? Come on! The Hater that wrote that should get his (her) ears checked and mouth washed out with soap. Jordin is one of the kindest people in the world…and doesn’t have a judgemental bone in her body. She’s an American Idol winner, platinum recording artist, and is now starring on Broadway in the Tony-winning play “In The Heights”. She has one of the most beautiful voices in the industry, but you don’t have to agree with the thousands of industry insiders that would know what a real “singer” is. Interesting that this blog is called “Truth Wins Out.” Well, what I’m writing is the truth! I’m not making any claims who should be on “the list”..that’s a matter of the writer’s opinion. But I’m sick of people picking on others who don’t deserve it, and thinking that it makes a good read.
Comment by Pam — September 9, 2010 @ 4:15 pm
But she’s, like, not good at singing.
Comment by Evan Hurst — September 9, 2010 @ 4:18 pm
I’m with Evan. She whispers. I can do that.
Comment by Wayne Besen — September 9, 2010 @ 4:20 pm
Well, and it’s not that whispering is a bad thing, if the singer has a genuinely beautiful whisper…
Comment by Evan Hurst — September 9, 2010 @ 4:40 pm
God I don’t understand why people that love big voiced divas have to trash Madonna and Janet, both can actually sing (and way better then Diana). They can’t blow like Whitney or Mariah but both have amazing tone, good control and when they’re not dancing can sing quite well. Sometimes I rather listen to a mellow Madonna ballad like Power of Goodbye, Take a Bow, or Live to Tell (which are ALL beautiful songs) over a bombastic all guns blazing power ballad like a Mariah song just to change things up. Madge can still blow 1000x better then Britney, Gwen, Rihanna and so many other “divas”.
Comment by Jake — October 8, 2010 @ 11:45 pm