I wonder if any gay people might be interested in a long post called “Who is the Greatest Diva of the Last 25 Years?”
The good scientists at The Awl devised a system to find out, so if you want to read something that’s both fun and informative, go check it out:
By way of eulogy to the dying animal that is the Diva, my crack team of consultants, statisticians and graphic designers have assembled DIVA-OFF 2010, a highly scientific (we used computers!) evaluation of the greatest divas of the past twenty-five years. A list of divas was evaluated on eleven levels of diva-ness, and, because each diva characteristic is not created equal, we scaled the values in the hopes of creating an aggregate diva number that will serve as a reference point for future generations.
Science! Here are the finalists:
After months of consultation, the crack team came up with the following list: Aretha, Barbra, Beyonce, Celine, Diana, Etta, Gladys, Mariah, Mary J, Whitney and Jordin Sparks. We included Jordin Sparks as a control, meaning, because Jordin Sparks sucks and sucks in a really boring way, she could provide a necessary context for how a really boring, shitty singer might rate out on the scale. We did not include Madonna because for a diva to really be a diva, the majority of her career must be built on the strength of her voice. Yes, it’s debatable whether or not everyone on our list fulfills this requirement, but none fail as disastrously as Madonna. Given the parameters we set up, there is simply no way to evaluate her without throwing off the entire system. Some others that would obviously have been included just a few years ago—Christina Aguilera, we’re looking at you!—have deemed themselves ineligible. (See also: outliers that seem like they are divas but are not, such as Grace Jones, Pink, etc.)
Go see who won [it should be obvious, if you think about it], and watch their collection of truly iconic diva videos!
I’ll be back in a few with a Serious Post.