This is hard reading.
Really, really hard reading.
It was posted at Suicide.org, and it’s from a gay teen, aged 16, named Steven, who attempted suicide. He survived.
If you’re a gay reader and you were bullied in high school, you may find yourself transported back in time. If you’re not a gay reader…try.
There’s extensive profanity in the note, which will probably be more of a cause for concern for conservative Christian readers than the child’s pain and anguish, because much of conservative Christian morality is inherently broken and dehumanizing.
But please read it. All of it.
Seriously, I wish I could be there for him and make him feel better :’( Thank God he survived! I hope that God will make him stronger in dealing all those atrocious verbal abuse.. :((
I hope he will realize that someone out there cares for him.
Not enough people talk about this: WHO ARE THEIR PARENTS.
People need to know that hyper-Christian parents, over-medicated parents, alcoholic parents, mentally ill parents and detached parents are NOT parents. They are simply biological surrogates for an egg and sperm.
When those type of people end up with gay kids they are one of the sources for suicide. I know. I lived with four alcoholics. FOUR. My parents, and their spouses when they got divorced. FOUR of them.
I survived. It’s gets better. Way better.
That was really hard to read, but I’m glad I did read it all the way thru. The fundies are starting to make comments about gay suicide now. FOTF’s CitizenLink for Oct. 5th features moronic Candi Cushman’s commentary ‘Teen Suicide is a Complex Issue’ in which she claims that gay teens commit suicide not because they are gay but because they are depressed. She claims that publicizing these suicides only encourages more kids to kill themselves! She says that gays are being ‘irresponsible’ for even mentioning these suicides!
Alliance Defense Fund’s Alliance Alert features Al Mohler (president of a Baptist seminary)who wrote ‘Between the boy and the bridge’about Tyler Clementi who, he claims, killed himself because he was ‘struggling with his sexual identity’.
Religion Link says ‘including sexual orientation in laws against bullying could open the door to anti-discrimination statutes that would impinge religious freedom…’
Also from Al Mohler: he shivers at the idea of ‘acceptance & normalization of homosexuality’ & says that such acceptance would result in ‘xtians committed to biblical truth will recognize this as a demand to lie to sinners (gays) about their sin. The church cannot change its understanding of the sinfulness of homosexual acts unless it willfully disobeys the Scripture & rejects the authority of the bible to reveal the truth about sin & sinfulness.’ He pretty much twists the facts so that he can finsih up by saying that if only Tyler had been ‘witnessed to’ he wouldn’t have committed suicide! What a jerk!
I don’t know about anybody else but I am thoroughly tired of people using their religious bigotry as an excuse for their hatred. I am not a Christian but I do know a couple of things. “Judge not lest ye be judged.” “Vengence is mine, sayeth the Lord.” This country may be mostly Christian but it is not and never was a Christian country, however much they may try to portray it otherwise. Like saying that being gay is a lifestyle choice, even though there is no valid scientific backing for it. The only lifestyle choice I see is those who choose to be stupid, ignorant and hateful.
I remember being picked on in school constantly because I was different. There were MANY days and nights I wished I was just dead to get away from it all.
Wayne,
Thanks for sharing this. I posted a link to the full suicide note on my Facebook page. This suicide note describes so much of what I felt at the age of 16 as I too decided to attempt suicide because I was gay and could not take the torment anymore. Much of the pain I felt came from bullying, but an incredible amount came from a pervasiveness of homophobia at church, at school and in the greater society. I internalized all of that as self-hatred and also hated those who tortured me daily, as do many teens and young adults. I thank God that I survived. Reading this letter brings back the pain I felt more than thirty years ago, though there has been a lot of healing since then. I thank God that I survived and thank you for sharing what is a common experience of many a young person. Your work is so vital. Never give up!
“Maybe jesus was gay.” Personally I’m pretty sure he’s right about this part. If the haters who falsely claim to be Christians actually read their Bibles they would see it plain as day. The gospel of John makes it clear that there was one special loved one in Jesus’s life and that person was a MAN. That man is also the narrator of the gospel of John. Jesus and the man he loved shared physical affection. Jesus asked his mother and that man to treat each other as mother and son, and they did.
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Wow that letter did take me back. I am a lesbian and was also made fun of, hit and laughed at in school. Reading his letter made me remember how unhappy and depressed I was and how many times I wanted to take my own life. He is so right when he said their words feel like they Have beatin him up. I wish I can just take him in my arms and hug him and let him know. We are one of a kind. These young people need to know it is ok to be diff. How does a society try to stop violence allow this to happen. My heart hurts for them. Our children are our future we need to protect them.
when i read this note i cryed and cryed i’m just 18 and about to go into the millitary and i’m about to graduate high school. i’ve been bullyed my entire life because i’m bisexual. i even had a principal tell me that if i changed it would all stop and thatr it was all my fault i even attemted suicide several times and was hospitalized. when my principal found out about the suicide attempt at school he told me that if i had changed things wouldn’t have gotten bad enough for me to do that. . . so steven if you read this know i’m here for you and i’ve been there before i’ve dealt with the locker things and the beatings. i even moved across the country to get away so please if you or anyone else reading this ever needs to talk please contacy me at 715-642-3028 anytime. . .theres help out there.
Nicolas, I hope you know your principal was a real a*hole. I was bullied a great deal in school as well. When I told people about it my parents and relatives said it was my fault because “You want to feel bad”. Their callous stupidity was almost worse than the bullying.
Nicolas, I’m so glad you made it through the suffering from being subjected to those stupid/ignorant people. Move often than not, school teachers and administrators are a big part of the problem because they are part of the same community that produces the heinous little thugs who made your young life so miserable. Best wishes to you.
Nicholas, I’m glad you made it alive because without you the world would be down one special bright light in the system. I know it’s hard being a homosexual and you get verbally abused by people that are nothing but insecure about themselves and the way they feel! You have a strong personality I’m sure of it and with the support you need I’m sure you’ll overcome all of it! I have many gay friends and you know what they are the best of friends because at least they know how to show emotions and talk about stuff!
Love Savannah
i am a bi teen but i am afraid dto tell anyone because of todays econimy only very few of my friends know because i can trust them. its so bad i am afraid to tell my parents even. one day in english i saaid support gay teens and one of my not so close friends said ur a lesbien thats so f*****g nasty ans=d to hide it i said no eww and my friend that knew just looked at me.im afraid to tell mainky because i already get called names like anarexcit and dirty house catalthoagh i allergic to cats.