The problem with directly confronting and dealing with anti-gay bullying is apparently we have to do it in a way that doesn’t make the bullies feel like they’re doing anything wrong…
Suicide surge: Schools confront anti-gay bullying
A spate of teen suicides linked to anti-gay harassment is prompting school officials nationwide to rethink their efforts against bullying – and in the process, risk entanglement in a bitter ideological debate.The conflict: Gay-rights supporters insist that any effective anti-bullying program must include specific components addressing harassment of gay youth. But religious conservatives condemn that approach as an unnecessary and manipulative tactic to sway young people’s views of homosexuality.
It’s a highly emotional topic. Witness the hate mail – from the left and right – directed at Minnesota’s Anoka-Hennepin School District while it reviews its anti-bullying strategies in the aftermath of a gay student’s suicide…
What leaps out at you first here is the rote equivocation on the part of this mainstream reporter. Instead of stating what is simply a fact here that “religious conservatives insist young people’s views of homosexuals must remain negative“, its “religious conservatives condemn that approach as an unnecessary and manipulative tactic to sway young people’s views of homosexuality”. Never mind that. Note that its hate mail when it comes both from the homophobes and people outraged at what homophobes are doing to helpless children.
Reporters can’t be taking sides after all. Just imagine the national outrage and loathing if the news media was as carefully neutral toward Al Qaeda. We can’t call them terrorists after all, that would be taking sides…
This in a nutshell, is why gay kids are dying. The religious right has successfully convinced everyone that brutalizing gays is an essential part of their religious freedom. Hating Jews might raise a few eyebrows. Hating people of color might get them some very stern frowns of disapproval. But to even question that they are and have been for decades now engaged in a systematic campaign of hate mongering, let alone question their need to hate their gay neighbor is apparently a step too far. And the consequence is that gay kids feel as though they have no friends in the adult world. Their need for love and acceptance is of no more importance in this world then the need of bigots to spit in their faces and look the other way while their kids kick them in the stomach. They are alone.
But if we act aggressively to protect gay kids from bullying we’re taking sides and that just wouldn’t be fair…
But at least four younger teens have killed themselves since July after being targeted by anti-gay bullying, including Justin Aaberg, 15, of Andover, Minn., who hanged himself in his room in July. His friends told his mother he’d been a frequent target of bullies mocking his sexual orientation.Five other students in his Anoka-Hennepin school district have killed themselves in the past year, and gay-rights advocates say bullying may have played a role in two of these cases as well.
Carlson, the district superintendent, lost a teenage daughter of his own in a car crash, and says he shares the anguish of the parents bereaved by suicide. He acknowledges that a controversial district policy calling for “neutrality” in classroom discussions of sexual orientation may have created an impression among some teachers, students and outsiders that school staff wouldn’t intervene aggressively to combat anti-gay bullying.
As we software engineers say, it’s not a bug, it’s a feature…
I’m just curious to know something here. When I was a teenager back in the 80′s when the AIDS epidemic first broke out, I was picked on a lot because I was different than the other guys in my school. I participated in the arts, I sang in my high school choir and glee club, I was a school DJ at our school’s own radio station.
I attempted suicide once but my parents never found out about it until after the fact when my high school counselor told my parents. I never tried it after that. So how is it that some people have managed to survive through their high school ordeals and some so easily resort to suicide as an answer?
I’m not saying that bullying is okay…it’s not! And it doesn’t matter who it is…gay, straight, fat, thin, intelligent, not so intelligent. It’s all the same. However, I feel that we are doing our gay teens a big disservice by not giving them the necessary tools to be able to deal with these situations. We expect that straight students change their views but the reality is that that will never happen unless we educate them about who we really are and dispel the myths propagated against the gay community. Also, we should be teaching our gay teens better coping mechanisms in dealing with bullying. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and we need to let our gay youth know that there are better ways to handle the bullies than killing themselves.
I also attended high school into the mid-80′s and saw my share of bullies. Bullies, until they are told, “No!” will always pick on younger or smaller people. They will continue to harass and torment those who are considered, “different.”
I briefly considered suicide when I was outed while in the US Navy but changed my mind after finding that many of my shipmates didn’t seem to care if I was or wasn’t. I stood up to the Navy and while I lost that battle, I was not made weaker by it. Not everyone possesses that inner strength and resolve to move forward.
Today, the bully doesn’t even need to physically threaten or abuse someone. They can go online and harass through email or FB or Twitter. Or, they can write a blog, as the Assistant Michigan Attorney General did when targeting an openly gay University of Michigan student who had the audacity to win election as the Michigan Student Body President!
There will always be some who are not able to stand up for themselves and it is up to the rest of us to stand up for them!
“But religious conservatives condemn that approach as an unnecessary and manipulative tactic to sway young people’s views of homosexuality.”
This coming from the idiots who go on rampages every time one of their little snowflakes is assigned a book that mentions gay people, or might be told not to kick the s**t out of gay people in school. We have nearly a dozen (possibly more) dead LGBT people in a month, yet we’re supposed to sit silently by? Screw that!
“I’m not saying that bullying is okay . . . it’s not! And it doesn’t matter who it is . . . gay, straight, fat, thin, intelligent, not so intelligent. It’s all the same.”
I probably misunderstood what you wrote here, but I just want to say that, no, it’s not all the same.
As bullying victims, gays and transgenders are truly unique. They cannot count on the support of their parents and of churches. On the contrary, they are often bullied by both their parents and churches and kicked out to the street. Nobody else is that alone.
Also, they are much less likely to be defended by their peers (or teachers) because anyone who speaks up for them risks being presumed to be LGBT themselves. That’s not a problem that other victims of bullying face. Again, nobody else is that alone.
In addition, many were raised from early childhood to hate gays long before they finally realized they are who they were raised to hate.
No wonder the suicide rate is so high.
It could be worse though. Until the 1990′s, many gay and lesbian youths in America had never heard of anybody like them, in the media, at school, etc. Or they were presented with such a false image (eg. all gays are effeminate and flamboyant) that they could not identify with it. They literally thought they were alone in the world.
That’s not true anymore in many western countries, but it’s still true in much of the rest of the world.
Bullied youths must indeed be taught coping, self-defense, and assertion skills — but the people who are qualified to teach these skills are not being allowed to do so by the Christian Right and hostile school officials.
I agree that youths who are being given public speaking opportunities by their parents, schools, GLSEN or PFLAG need to be well-prepared with these skills. I have seen GLSEN give youths this preparation but local youths acting alone or with help from informal GSAs might not be so well prepared.