I have slept in beds I could completely see myself marrying. They were that soft. Obviously Rebecca Kleefisch, candidate for Lieutenant Governor in Wisconsin, sees gay couples and fears that down the road, people will be a-marryin’ clocks and tables.
Obviously. Because clocks can sign contracts and stuff. Sure.
You can’t make these people up:
“This is a slippery slope. In addition to that, at what point are we going to okay marrying inanimate objects? Can I marry this table or this, you know, chair? Can we marry dogs?” Kleefisch said in a recent television interview, no doubt taking some talking points from the Rick Santorum fan club.
Unbelievable.
Oh, I had a chaise longue that was really, really soft one time. But I didn’t marry it.
UPDATE: The candidate is now very sorry that her anti-gay views were worded so poorly, and next time will try to mince words better. Or something.
Pssh, don’t these people realize that it’s the straight marriages that lead to man-on-futon marriages? If it weren’t for straight people wanting to get married, nobody else would be wanting to get married, too.
Obviously, the solution is to end straight marriage.
Obviously.
If we normalize Opposite Sex Attraction Disorder, where do we draw the line? If kids grow up thinking they can marry a member of the opposite sex, what’s to stop some of them from wanting to marry a member of an opposite species, like a goat or a hamster, or opposite phylum, or even a former tree that is now a chiffarobe? By encouraging opposite sex “marriage,” we undermine our children’s ability to develop proper, healthy boundaries. Real men marry other real men, and they think clean thoughts when they get out the Pledge.
If she can find a dog or table that can comprehend and sign a marriage license then more power to her. As it stands, I’m not sure *she* can do either.
Well, some border collies are pretty smart.
At what point do we allow brainless asshats to run for government positions….. uh, oh. Sigh…….