Everywhere you look, you see the menace of the homoseckshul agenda! Well, if you’re Porno Pete, you do. This is hilarious:
CHICAGO – Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH) today questioned the propriety of “same-gender” TSA (Transportation Security Administration) “pat-downs” – if the TSA agents doing the “patting down” are homosexual, lesbian or bisexual.
Homeland Security Sec. Janet Napolitano went out of her way yesterday to stress that the TSA pat-downs are “same-gender” – mostly to reassure women that men will not be groping them at airports in the name of safety.
“But what about homosexual TSA agents?” AFTAH President Peter LaBarbera responded. “Isn’t it just as inappropriate for a ‘gay’ male TSA agent to pat down male travelers as it is for a normal, heterosexual male TSA agent to pat down female travelers?
“The reality is, most traveling men would not want Barney Frank to pat them down at the airport security checkpoint,” LaBarbera said. “Neither would it be fair to assign Ellen DeGeneres to pat down female travelers. (In the same vein, the Army should no more force normal male soldiers to shower and bunk with homosexual male soldiers than it would force females soldiers to bunk and shower with their male counterparts.)”
Seriously. And honestly, I agree with him: I would not want Barney Frank patting me down at an airport security checkpoint, mostly because he’s a Congressman, and that would be entirely inappropriate. Now, because Pete is a wingnut, and wingnuts are scared of Barney Frank, I understand why he immediately suggested Barney. But Peter, how would you feel if it was Ricky Martin?
For some reason, I think he’d stand at attention and take the patdown under those circumstances.
Or what if it was Neil Patrick Harris? I mean, who in their right mind would reject a patdown from NPH? Not me, and not you either.
They may expose the fact that he has NO JUNK in his trunk! Again Peter is just going to the lowest common denominator, walk don’t fly Peter to the closest hetero guaranteed zone like the Pope Mobile!
It’s a pat-down Peter, it’s not a massage with cocktails. Ask your buddy George Rekers to explain the difference to you.
Oh. For. Christ’s. Sake. Spare. Me. Already. ><
Wait, Ricky Martin is doing Pat downs for the TSA? What airport? I’ve been good!
This has to be one of the funniest things Pete’s ever posted.
Does he even think when he hits the send button.
Pete forgot the most obvious part. We gay men are flying more just to get felt up/patted down by male TSA agents, both gay and straight. Oh but wait, all that extra air travel would surely be helping the free market economy, and Pete surely can’t be against that!
Come to think of it, Pete better make sure that his doctor isn’t gay, otherwise the doctor MIGHT enjoy giving Pete his prostate exam.
I have the perfect scenario now… Pete needs a heterosexual doctor who has a lesbian nurse. That way there is no way the nurse could get turned on when she has to see Pete in that tiny little backless gown – or less!
sorry, should have said heterosexual MALE doctor in post # 7. Obviously there’s no way a straight female physician could control herself in Pete’s presence.
I’m pretty sure that no self respecting gay man wants to touch Peter LaBarbera’s junk. And frankly, neither do I.
classy.
Oh wait, this line actually supports what LaBabs is claiming (albeit in joke form). whoops.
TWO obviously has no lesbian readers, and all their gay men readers are sex-obsessed horndogs who love the same type.
Emily, it’s called Being Silly. Peter’s gotten so ridiculous that it’s hard to pretend he’s raised some sort of valid point.
Oh for Christ sake Pete, it’s just a G*d d**n pat down! I swear Pete that is the most ABSURD thing I have ever read in the history of your absurdness. Do you honestly think that any male…gay or straight, would want to feel up your junk in an airport? If it were me…NO! Goddess Almighty, where do these wingnuts come up with this information?
Emily — we find LaBarbera best discussed in joke form, because he is a joke. I would hesitate to take his nonsense too seriously, because this would elevate him to a status he has not earned.
It is important to note that few people know who Peter LaBarbera is. However, if you say, “Porno Pete” many people get know who he is.
And, well, yeah, Evan could have added a hot lesbian, such as Cynthia Nixon. I just love her!
Peter already included a hot lesbian in his post. I sorta thought it was funny, actually, because he’s all “EWWW BARNEY FRANK” but then lists a lesbian who suburban straight ladies all across this land just adore.
“But what about homosexual TSA agents?”
So maybe the new security procedures will keep the human gutter off airplanes after all. Seriously Pete, do you really want to risk getting felt up by a homosexual? Might be better to travel by car from now on.
New T-shirt:
Don’t touch my junk, for Pete’s sake!
Great T-Shirt Idea Paul. :)
Giggle. Andy Towle, just now:
“No doubt Porno Pete has fantasized long and hard about getting an intense wanding at airport security.”
An intense “wanding.” Heheheh.
Emily, I’m sure that TWO has quite a few lesbian readers..and I wish more lesbians did read and comment here.
Believe me, Emily, I am far from a sex-obsessed horndog (celibate for 4.5 years). Porno Pete thinks about (gay) sex a LOT more than I do; otherwise he wouldn’t be so consumed/obsessed by it. :-)
as long as it’s clowning that is a response to LaBabs’ clowning, it’s not a reason to speak up. But I’d hate to provide legitimacy to him by, even in a superficial way, acknowledging he’s even close to correct. The man has looked at (for “research”) more gay porn than I ever will in my life. I’m sure of it. and i’m still young yet.
A friend of mine was frisked by someone at the airport, and it was El Al, and thye’re super srs when it comes to security. So they were thorough. During that time she commented, “this is more action than I’ve seen in 3 months,” to diffuse how ridiculous it felt (she was somewhat singled out). Humor IS a good way to mock it.
I wish more lesbos commented here too.
Emily:
We certainly would like to find an excellent lesbian writer/blogger who could increase interest. If you can think of anyone, please feel free to recommend them offline.
I’m bisexual, but I don’t want anybody of any gender or sexual orientation to do that pat-down to me.
My first response was also, “No, he’s hoping he gets someone cuter than Barney.” I can’t believe anyone takes this garbage seriously or feels it’s worth getting out their wallet for a donation. Porno Pete’s obsessions are showing out loud here.
Well, Pete, I guess that seals it. Henceforth, all straight, male gynecologists must immediately resign.
Speaking as a gay male, I really don’t want to be patted down by a TSA male, whether gay or straight. I want to make sure my pat-down is kept on a professional, non arousing level. I’d like the option of choosing a pat-down by a female TSA. Preferably also gay, since that would be the least embarrassing for all concerned.
I’d be OK with Barney, ’cause I trust him. But ppplease not that Craig guy; I hate to get patted down by a guy who’s tapping his toe the whole time. That’s just icky.
(If Petie had his way)…if I were a straight male going thru TSA, I’d pretend to be gay just to get patted down by a female agent.
You need to think these things through, Pete; this is the logical conclusion of your “complaint”
[...] Add Jim Swilley to the list of people Peter is scared of getting a patdown from in the airport. Tags: AFTAH, Americans for Truth, Georgia, hate groups, Jim Swilley, patdowns, [...]
[...] anything rising near to the level of a “hissy fit” over anything Peter says; we simply make fun of him. The fact that he creates an alternate reality where gays actually take his arguments seriously [...]