‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Bryan Fischer was crying and hiding under stuff because he thought he saw a gay soldier ogling him in the kitchen.

So now, Bryan Fischer sez that, despite his earlier lies about gays being Nazis and Nazis being gays and gays being overly brutal and stuff, gays are actually “nancy-boys” who only join the military to ogle dudes and stuff, and now that DADT is repealed, we won’t be able to join just for the purposes of seeing patriotic dicks like Bryan’s in the shower, and seriously, I’m not kidding, I hope he has a Merry Christmas, because I imagine it’s very hard to enjoy things like holidays when you have so many demons playing hopscotch in your brain:

If a homosexual signs up now, he’s stuck with the whole magilla. Go to your superior officer now and say, hey, I’m a flaming homosexual, I hate the army, let me out of here, the superior officer will say, tough darts, those days are gone. You’re stuck with us now, Nancy-boy.

So, who’s sorry now?

This may be the silver lining in this whole mess. Conservative groups, simply as a public service, may want to sound this message far and wide out of simple, straightforward compassion, just in order to protect potential homosexual soldiers from themselves and from the distressing discovery that they just kissed off a handy exit option that nobody else had.

The more this message resounds, the fewer homosexuals will want to enlist. It’s one thing to be gay, and say, hey, I’ll give it a few weeks and then bail if I don’t like the food, can’t get enough action in the barracks, or thought I’d enjoy ogling male soldiers in the shower more than I did.

Those days are now shortly to be a distant memory for our homosexual friends. They enlist, they’re stuck with the whole program just like everybody else.

In other words, they had preferential treatment and special privileges, a status and privileges and an exit strategy denied to their honest and straight counterparts. And homosexuals just bargained it away. Now, they will discover to their dismay, they’re back to having equal rights instead of special rights.

Man, he is dumber than Peter LaBarbera, who we also wish a Merry, Merry Christmas! I hope Santa brings Peter everything he wants, which is probably something along these lines.