By James Voss
My experience at Teen Challenge began in Aug of 2007. At the age of twenty-four, I found myself facing the county prosecutor on a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol after leaving a gay bar near Troy, Michigan. This was my first time getting a ticket for anything.
I had spent most of the past three years dealing with the pressure of coming out to my friends and family while attending a private four-year bible college. North Central University is a self-proclaimed “Christ-centered Pentecostal school with a commitment to academic excellence that prepares students to fulfill biblical models of leadership and ministry throughout the world .”
I left for North Central University right after high school to become a youth pastor. The one obstacle of graduation was my sexual orientation. According to the university, homosexuals suffer a life controlling disorder that can be overcome through self-discipline, prayer, and by living a life centered in Christ and obeying the N.C.U Way. At a certain point I decided that I needed to love myself enough, and admit that I was gay and leave NCU.
At this point I admit that I had little direction in my life and started looking for what gay community I could find at the bar. As I began to come out to my family I found myself in total isolation and the support system that comes with it. You see, my family shared the same world view on homosexuality that North Central University and the Assembly of God did as whole.
My family chose to accept the official teachings of the church that include such anti-gay opinions:
“In the face of a militant homosexual movement that is pressing for legal and social acceptance of homosexuality, the church must keep its focus. First, homosexuals are sinners like everyone and need God’s grace, love, and forgiveness. Second, homosexuals can through the miracle of the new birth be set free from the power of sin and live changed moral lives. The church must reach out to all sinners with the love of Christ, no matter what the sin. And we must never let the declining moral climate of our nation pressure us into condoning what God condemns. ”
Coming out was a hard process when your family and culture is against you, so as I left the gay bar in 2007, I had very little in the way of family or friends to rescue me from the prison cell I found myself in. I sat in jail for ten days unable to reach anyone in my family to post bail.
As it ended up, I was able to obtain a lawyer and all terms of my probation would be met if I completed a court assigned program at Western Michigan Teen Challenge.
Teen Challenge by its own definition is an Assemblies of God USA evangelical Christian recovery program and a network of Christian social and evangelizing work centers. It is a 12-18 month program that serves drug addicts, alcoholics gang members, prostitutes, and people dealing with the life controlling problem of same sex attraction and addiction. Think of the program as a sanctification quick stop to redeem one in the eyes of the Assembly of God Church. I was told that once I spoke in tongues that god would work in my life and remove the gay feelings.
In the four months I lived at the teen challenge center in Muskegon Michigan, all personal decisions were left to the director of the center who was guided by a stern handbook that consisted of 111 individual rules and guidelines. A majority of these rules were designed to put program participants in submission to the program’s leaders who supposedly were anointed by God and spoke with the power and authority of the Holy Spirit. The physical evidence of their holiness the ability to speak in speak in tongues.
In the program, we were not ever allowed to look at females directly. Men and women had to sit on separate sides of the chapel and if a woman was singing or giving a testimony she did so behind an office cubical wall so that only her eyes were visible.
People that entered the center with psychological problems were often not allowed to take medications prescribed by doctors since there was a ban on any medication that had any affect on the brain. If you took medications you were told you weren’t showing enough faith and that Jesus could heal you.
Daily life consisted of chapel, bible classes, work duty, and two hours of praying on your knees. You physically had to kneel or you got in to trouble. Students were not allowed to talk about addiction or in my case homosexuality. Instead, you were only to think and talk about God and the scriptures that they had you memorize and meditate on.
One of the stated program goals was to reprogram or recondition the mind, because as they taught, human nature was evil and your mind was naturally wrong. We were all born sinners, they claimed. So, for a gay man to bring up that he was born gay was stating the obvious, because the program directors believed that we are all born into sin. “All man has fallen short of the Glory of God”, they preached, while they taught that all Christians are at war with their own flesh and blood. (I have included a link to the daily schedule so you can get an ideal of how regimented it was.)
By looking at the curriculum we can get a quick glance at what was covered in the three daily bible classes. In the first 14 weeks I was exposed to classes on attitude, growing through failure, temptation, anger and personal rights. We were told that we signed all our personal rights over to God and the pastors at the center when we entered the program.?Learning at the center was mostly done through rote memorization. Workbooks for classes had places where critical thinking could potentially take place, but students were expected to just memorize the correct answer and fill it in.
While living at the center, all conversations are monitored for ungodliness, all mail is read, and phone conversations are limited to five minutes every two weeks. No mail or phone conversations are allowed in the first four weeks that a student is attending the program. This is done largely because by the fourth week in the program, students are broken down enough that they no longer think for themselves and respond in a programmed way. Parents probably do perceive a change in their child, but is it real or simply a programmed, conditioned reaction to subverting and suppressing all individuality and critical thinking skills?
Program leaders believe the “gay problem”, as they call it, is a sin because “homosexual acts are unnatural because of their high correlation with major illnesses and terminal disease.”
In viewing Romans 1:27 we must ask what is the “due penalty” mentioned “for their perversion”, they preach. They go on to say that, “Though AIDS is not necessarily a direct judgment from God, as innocents are sometimes the victims of the sin of others, it remains a disastrous overarching consequence of sin through the fall of man.” (See Genesis 3).
They also preach:
“Contrary to the claims by homosexual public relations campaigns that claim gays and lesbians are normal, healthy, average people, the opposite is true. Former homosexuals describe a disgusting lifestyle of perversion and sexual obsession. In a study of the median age of death for heterosexuals and homosexuals, less than 2 per cent of homosexuals survived to age 65 while married and single heterosexual men and women living past 65 ranged from 57 to 80 percent.
Clearly on every front whether it is moral, spiritual, physical, or psychological, the practice of homosexuality has proven itself devoid of any individual good or social benefit. Furthermore, the historical record shows homosexuality as detrimental to the well-being of the individual participant, the extended family, and society at large.”
Is it healthy to teach a gay person and churchgoers that homosexuals are a detriment to the society at large? Is breaking a person down the best way to offer genuine help?
From my experience with Teen Challenge, I would have to say no.
In an environment where you are taught that all your personal rights belong to God and program leaders speak with the voice of god, gay students are given little choice but to believe and think how they are taught. At Teen Challenge, people do “change” because they are heavily conditioned how to respond.?Some of these adjustments were positive. For example, having every minute of the day programmed does bring order to one’s life. However, the overall program is quite harmful to those who participate, particularly LGBT people.
The LGBT Community needs to watch out for programs like Teen Challenge and remember that it a massive organization with over 223 centers in North America with the capacity to sleep over 7,536 people, according to its website.
Programs like this negatively impact a high number of gay youth. I can state from firsthand experience that Teen Challenge did some long-term damage to my self esteem.







Regarding Jeff’s comment “real freedom is available through Christ:” this statement means absolutely nothing. He has taken the word “freedom,” stripped it of its meaning and included it in a sentence. One might just as well put any word in its place; happiness, lower gas prices, free candy, et cetera.
Gene said “I have an IQ of 130. Ya’ got me by ten.”.
No he doesn’t. Given that Jeff was stupid enough to think any atheist would believe he’s “seen hundreds of former atheists receive Christ in [your] thirty-five years of public ministry.” its obvious his IQ is nowhere near 140. Jeff is an unrepentent liar and I for one am done with him and his b******t.
Excellent comment, Wayne.
I also woke up with my partner this morning, as I have for nearly thirty years. And, as I do everyday, I hugged and kissed him on his way out the door for his walk to work. Then I stepped into my home-office where I do my self-employment work. When he arrives home from work today, I will greet him at the door, and we will talk about our day. He will probably take the three-block walk to the gym later tonight (I go during the day), and then we will have a late dinner. There is a lot of routine, but we see it as a wonderful life.
Part of our routine is also reading a short list of blogs every day where we frequently encounter retarded busybodies, like Jeff, who can only find contentment by meddling in other people’s lives. My partner and I are very happy homos, and that makes people like Jeff crazy. But the thing that makes them even crazier than crazy is knowing we are also free of the bondage and shackles of fearing a god’s vengeance. It must be horrible for people who are constantly walking on eggshells worrying about committing some small infraction that may invoke their psychotic god’s wrath.
Congrats on your 30 years and your post is spot on. My husband and I are approaching 24 years together and I can’t imagine a happier life. We truly love each other and we are very fortunate. With the exception of my aunt and uncle are relationship has outlasted everyone else in our family.
Actually my brother is just like Jeff having found religion a few years ago. Now he preaches the same babble. I have cut him out of my life after being brothers who were very close all their lifes. Actually his religious crap is what finally made me sit down and really embrace my atheism for the first time so I guess I have him to thank for something.
Tim, Richard, congrats to you both! (and your husbands!) My husband and I have just passed 22 years together, and, as I am only 41, I can say with joy I have spent half my life with him….the best half.
I hope some person who s just in here looking around reads this, and your posts.
You have found happiness and love, and you deserve it. Tim, fully understand why you are an athiest. I am not trying to change that. I am religious myself, but, my church is truly welcoming to me and my man. Indeed, two decades ago, it was one of the few institutions that was! I know that my religious beliefs are not in sync with a lot of people here, but I appreciate the welcome….and, I hope (and I have gotten this impression) that most here welcome the aid and support of Christian and other religious groups who DO welcome and support us and our rights.
Not every religious person (and indeed, fewer and fewer) spout the crap that Jeff and, sadly, your brother, does Tim W, and speaking as a person of faith, I have to say, I would rather be stuck in an elevator for a day with you, or Richard, or Mikyiu, or Priya than a LOT of the religious people I know!
Lets keep doing the things that p**s off the fundys the most; living good and decent lives, with love, friendship, family, and s sense of dignity that does not let others tell us we are bad, when we are in fact not.
Congrats on 30 years, and 24 years, and waking up happy and successful with the man you love in Vermont! :)
Richard:
You make a good point. Imagine how awful it must be to pray to a psychotic and moody deity like Jeff does each day. What a crappy and neurotic lifestyle that does nothing but cheapen the human experience.
I’m so glad that such brainwashed idiocy has never encroached upon my life. I can’t imagine living with so many awful hang-ups and actually believing there is this gigantic lightning bolt throwing jerk with an attitude problem living above me ready to smite me for enjoying life.
It is so clear that people like Jeff, Porno Pete, Maggie, and Bam Bam are miserable creatures who are squandering the wonder of life and wringing any beauty out of the experience. No wonder they drip with such self-loathing and hate. If I shared such beliefs, I might be an angry busybody too.
Tim W and Gene,
Thanks for your comments, and big congrats to both of you, too!
Tim W,
I’m sorry about your brother. When I hear about people who “find” religion later in life, it arouses a lot of curiosity about the characteristics of the person, and the circumstances preceding the conversion. My mother became a fundamentalist when I was about 13 (divorce from my father followed), and I don’t have a grasp on the reason(s). We only ever had one blow-up over “it” (the gay factor), and otherwise she knows not to preach to me about any aspect of religion. She’s 92 now.
While I will admit that the religious crap endured by gay people was a factor in my taking a closer look at religion, I will say emphatically that it had absolutely nothing to do with concluding that gods do not exist. While the Fundamentalists’ treatment of gays is not the reason I’m a non-believer, it is one (just one) of the reasons that I loath fundamentalist religion.
Gene,
Wow, you met your partner at age 19 and have been together 22 years later. That’s impressive! (Yes, I’m a math whiz.)
And, Gene, I’d rather be stuck in an elevator for a day with you than with some atheists.
_____________________________
For evangelical fundamentalists, I think there are basically two types of homos:
An unhappy homo is a hot prospect,
whereas
A happy homo is a threat.
Gene,
It sounds like your life and mine somewhat mirror each other. I met my husband when I was 20 and am now 44 so over half my life too. My husband and I have a weird sense of humor which I think makes us really gel. We met a guy on Friday night and were telling him how long we’ve been together. My husband without missing a beat said “Yep I haven’t cut his head off yet.” We truly just get along even though I do drive him crazy sometimes.
Tim W, I think your right! lol Many a young couple comes to us, the “Fred and Ethel” (wont it be nice when we have old established gay couples on tv to compare ourselves to?) of the neighborhood. They often as if we have considered divorce. We reply with the old joke of “Divorce? Never. Murder? From time to time.” and follow this with the only half joke that its nice to love the same things, but, as hatred is a far stronger emotion, its important to HATE the same things if you want to stay together ;) That, and the ability to eat each others cooking (I am a southerner, he is Chinese…. together we can deep fry ANY animal) is the secret to happiness.
Thank you, Wayne, for posting James’ story. I have been attending an Assemblies of God church for three years and attend Celebrate Recovery there. Though I have been treated kindly, I am a sinner in need of saving just by my very existence [being gay]. I see divorced people getting remarried and widows remarrying (both of which the Bible prohibits) and yet will condemn someone who refuses to repent of being homosexual. Why have I stayed there? Good question.
Rick
To me, repentance has always meant an acknowledgement and/or sincere apology towards others. I’m incredulous, though, that repentance will completely take away same-sex feelings/adulterous feelings/desire(s) to drink, gamble, etc. I think that fundamentalists’ meaning of repentance in their church is all those desires which are deemed undesirable will be taken away (by God)- it ain’t necessarily so. I think you are torn, Rick; you acknowledge yourself as being a sinner because you are gay, yet (apparently) you don’t feel badly enough about it (because maybe that is who/what you are?) to repent. I wish you well on your path, Rick.
So, Rick, why don’t you ask the church leaders/Celebrate Recovery leaders why there is no condemnation of divorcés getting remarried when they are giving you such grief? (I wasn’t aware of any prohibition against widow(er)s) getting remarried; the law of Levirate marriage in the Old Testament makes it pretty clear that widows who don’t have children are to marry their husband’s brother so that the patrilineal line can carry on.)
Thanks, Phillip, for the response. I did not know the information about widows or widowers, although I believe they should be get remarried, as well as people who have divorced. I just don’t like the double standards. The AoG has a paper on their views about homosexuality and though I disagree, I won’t bash them. I have found much love and support in that church, so I am torn somewhat.
I was never really an atheist, but this is the first church I have seriously attended as an adult. Most of the people there do try to practice what they preach and are not what I might consider “hypocrites.” I’ve not been given any grief from anyone about being gay, but I also have not talked with anyone specific (other than my sponsor, who is the CR leader and outreach pastor), about being gay. I love the guy and cannot imagine my life without him. Some may say that there is possible romantic feelings on my part, but there is not. Whether it is the churches intention or not, I have grown tremendously there in learning how to navigate relationships with heterosexual men.
I am torn over the fact that being gay is not going to change, though there is the belief that it may or that I should abstain from romantic relationships with men.
Also, thank you for the better explanation of repentance. I thought it meant that we ask God for forgiveness for doing something we know is wrong.
I should also add that as an adult, I am 41 years of age, so I’m no “Babe in the woods.” I know of the destructiveness that happens when making the wrong choices (alcohol abuse, promiscuity, etc.), but this is not because there are not any other choices for gay folks. They were MY choices and that is why I am in recovery. The fact that some churches believe this is the only way for gays or that being gay leads to alcoholism, casual sex, drug use, etc., takes away the power our choices make and the consequences. Being gay is not a choice and that is where some denominations of religion tend to blur the lines.
I am in a small corrective or reparative “ex-gay” program and really thought this was what God wanted for me. I am beginning to realize that it was a scare tactic that if I am Bisexual then I will be judged by God and He won’t hear my prayers or want anything to do with me. That goes against everything I ever heard or learned about my relationship with Jesus. Also, I appreciate hearing about this program because I can relate to this part here that you mentioned:
“Learning at the center was mostly done through rote memorization. Workbooks for classes had places where critical thinking could potentially take place, but students were expected to just memorize the correct answer and fill it in.”
This is EXACTLY what they have us do! I actually get “Homework” from this place and ithey get upset if you don’t do it or work on the lessons they want you to work on. But in all this, I have to ask this question, Does working in a workbook and reading your bible how they want you to REALLY gonna “cure” me of being interested in both genders or in others cases the same gender? I have a friend who is gay and possibly a bit asexual who went through this program and he said it didn’t work for him and he feels more gay because of it. He literally told me,
“I just don’t think this worked for me and if God doesn’t want me Gay then I won’t be Gay.” He has some of their programmed thinking in his mind still. And yes, to me, he is still gay with asexual feelings. Not only do they think they can “cure” us of being gay in this program, but they think if you really like someone and want to be around them a lot is “Emotional Dependency” and they think they care heal you of this in the Powerful Love of Jesus Christ. Last time I read the gospels, Jesus was hanging out with ONLY 12 other guys named disciples and he had a close and I believe an emotional relationship of some kind (not sexual just very close friendship) with John “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” so much so John rested his head on the chest of Christ at the supper table and he even said “Behold your Mother” to him about Mary when He died on the cross. I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ, His life, death and resurrection, BUT I also believe when Jesus spoke the commandment,”Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
I know He meant that hating your self is just as bad as hating another person. Thankfully, I have 2 openly gay christian friends, who love God and are honest with Him and themselves and truthfully, they are happier in life than many “ex-gays” and heterosexuals I have met and known. So, I am grateful for this story and I am seeking support as I begin the steps to walking away from this group. I have been annointed with holy oil and had to burn sexually deviant under garnments there (even though I had sex with a man it was not in marriage and therefore had a spirit on it)and I worry what kind of weird crap they will come at me with now. I have 3 months of this cult therapy for free and after (if I don’t before) “my time is up” I will not go back. My friend Jackson (who is one of my openly gay Christian friends) told me about 2 weeks ago,
“You will come to a crossroads in your life very soon and you will have the strength to chose the right way to go.” I believe I met those crossroads in this area and I am going to walk the right path AWAY from it.
Sarah…the real questions to ask yourself:
1) If it isn’t working for you, why would you stay there another minute.
2) When did chrisianity change from your Personal relationship with jesus to doctrines , commandments and bibliolatry?
3) Why are you willing to accept the judgements of people who are jot god, don’t speak for god, and who know nothing of your relationship with god.
3) Why are you willing to accept the latter in place of the former?
Sarah:
I just want you to know that, in your journey, there are countless people who will affirm you not only in your faith but as the person you actually are. You seem to have put a lot of the pieces together already and I would encourage you to read the blogs of John Shore and Kathy Baldock, if you don’t already. Google ‘em. They’re easy to find.