You know the story by now. Dan Savage, as a sex columnist and a person with integrity, has, in general terms, been honest about the fact that he and his husband Terry have, twice in the past ten years, done something a little bit sexy with someone outside their marriage. This is in stark contrast to the way many heterosexuals handle monogamy: by fiercely barking about how much they believe in it, while simultaneously screwing people behind their spouses’ backs. Say what you will about Dan and Terry’s arrangement, but at least they handle each other with trust and respect.
Peter LaBarbera is freaked out. As usual, he’s asking the indignantly stupid question he always asks:
OK, so Savage and his homosexual “hubby” knew the third wheel in each of their libidinous nights out. But questions remain: who babysat their “kid” during the outside sex?
A babysitter, probably.
In ‘Homosexual-Daddies’-Three-Way-Adventure’ #1, did the ”gay” duo plan on the multi-partner tryst in advance – and budget extra baby-sitting time accordingly — or did it just “happen,” like the second encounter? (“Sally, we’ll be home at 10:00 or maybe 1:00 in the morning, depending upon whether our host is feeling horny.”)
Who knows, but I’m sure they paid Sally a little extra that night. Why is this an important line of questioning? Is there something in the wingnut brains of Peter’s reader[s] that is so off-kilter that they would consider that a relevant question without an obvious answer?
Seriously, what’s telling about Savage’s multi-partner Tryst-and-Tell is that this supposed serious advocate of homosexual parenting felt the need to inform the world of his sexual excesses — despite knowing that one day his adopted son would find out. Is that part of the new “gay parenting” ethos — the kiddos must accommodate themselves (in later life) to the “out and proud” sexual antics of their “daddies”?
Uh, he is a sex columnist? And what’s interesting is that Dan holds pretty firm to his rule of not discussing his and Terry’s sex life; he’s stated that this was an exception, and only because it was relevant. But again, I’d be much less scarred to find out that my parents, consensually and honestly, played a little bit together, than to find out that one parent had been cheating on the other for years, or anything else like that. Because really, no kid cares about the details of their parents’ sex lives, but they DO care about broken trust. But we’re dealing with fundamentalists here, and their sense of morality is Victorian and weird.
Here’s something I will never have to clarify: Savage and his homosexual lover should not be parents. They chose to embrace a barren homosexual lifestyle — with its attendant perversions, such as three-way romps with homosexual acquaintances (NOT strangers!), etc.
According to Peter, whose experience with reality is that of a fraying tether at best. But, by all accounts, Dan and Terry are doing a great job as parents. How are Peter’s kids faring? I mean, I’m just curious. And who babysits them when Peter is furiously posting leathersex pictures on the website for the hate group he runs?
Anyway, Peter posted Dan’s response to him, I’m assuming, because Peter thinks he’s winning this argument and does not realize just how complete Dan’s smackdown was. Let’s end this post with that:
My husband and I have never had a threeway with a “stranger,” Porno Pete. But if you prefer to picture the two of us getting with hot, sweaty, well-hung strangers when you’re drafting a post/rubbing one out/living vicariously though us, go for it.
As for my marriage—my monogamish marriage—it’s lasted twice as long as Ronald Reagan’s first marriage, longer than all but one of Newt Gingrich’s three marriages (and soon it will have lasted longer than all three of Newt’s marriages), and much, much longer than any one of Rush Limbaugh’s four marriages.
So forgive me, Porno Pete, but I kinda maybe think the two of us—me and the husband, still crazy in love after all these years—just might be doing something right.
For that matter, who’s holding up Peter’s end of the marriage when he’s furiously posting the leathersex pictures…
“Just one more, honey! There is a gay on the internet!”