This is sad and frightening on so many levels. If Faithful Word Baptist Church doesn’t ring a bell for you, they’re an SPLC-certified hate group in Arizona which became infamous a while back when the strange, uneducated sermons of its pastor Steven Anderson started to go viral. He has said that gay people should be killed, and he also has a big, big problem with men who pee sitting down, even if they are tired. He’s also one of those loons who has been praying for the death of the President.
What you may not know is that his wife, Zsuszanna, also has a widely read blog where she shares, alternately, stories of raising their many, many children [even though they can't afford them], and her bizarre views on politics and religion, which were likely implanted in her by her husband. So I was reading Jesus’ General last night, as I am wont to do, and found that he’s sent Zsuszanna one of his famous letters in response to her statements on spousal abuse. Get ready, because this is some sick, sick stuff they’re teaching, but it’s relevant because it’s the natural, perverse extension of extreme anti-gay views. I’ve said many times that anti-choice sentiment, misogyny and hatred of gay people are all tied together with one big bow, and this is just more evidence of that. What does Zsuszanna believe an abused wife should do?
First of all, chances are that the “victim” in this situation made their own bed, i.e. married that person out of their own free will. I’m not trying to play a blame game here, but choosing the right spouse is our own responsibility. It is not the duty of the spouse to live up to our fairytale expectations of them. My mother always taught me to marry someone I loved the way they were, because they were not going to change as a result of marriage – what you see is what you get. I think women especially have a tendency to feel pity for some loser of a guy and marry him in hopes of reforming him. It’s a lost cause – people are who they are. Disillusioned, these women then despise that same man, when they would easily be able to overlook those same faults in others.
If he beats you after you’re married, it’s your own damn fault for marrying him.
Just hypothetically, let’s assume that a sweet, godly lady marries a nice godly guy. After they are married, completely out of the blue, he changes personalities and turns out to be a complete jerk. What should she do? Does she have any “recourse”?
Based on the Bible, I believe that divorce is always wrong, whether or not the wife is able to survive on her own financially, whether or not there are children involved, etc.
Uh huh, go on…
The only Biblical recourse for a horrible marriage, or any marriage for that matter, is death. If your husband is an abusive, mean, hateful, fill-in-the-blank jerk in spite of you doing your best as a wife, God can kill him whenever He wants to. If he is still alive, God must want you to still be married to him. A wife could pray and fast for her husband/marriage, and for the kids to turn out right in spite of marital problems. If nothing else, it will be a great lesson for the kids, who hopefully will grow up and make wiser and more careful choices regarding their future spouse, rather than learning that marriage can be dissolved at a whim.
These people should not have children. To be so brainwashed by a bizarre religious system that you could possibly believe that children who grow up watching Daddy beat the shit out of Mommy every night would be a “great lesson” is absolutely sick, and is just more evidence of the utterly dehumanizing influence of fundamentalist religion.
But as I said at the beginning, it’s also sad, because this is a woman writing this, a woman who has obviously been so torn down as a human being that she writes this and believes that is healthy and good. Keep this woman in your thoughts and prayers, please.
UPDATE: Now Zsuszanna is in her comments section advocating the death penalty for gays. Again, what a sick, sad woman.
Not at all unlike the Phelps Klan. Fred was known to beat his children for no honest reason and threaten his wife with a butcher knife on occasion. Steven Anderson has the potential to see this man as a role model.
I’m at a loss for words. How could anyone believe this cruel nonsense?
Actually, the first paragraph makes a fair amount of sense up until the word “disillusioned”. As a wedding photographer, I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to scream at my clients: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU THINKING? This is a bad idea, I can see that, and I don’t even know you.
After “disillusioned”, he goes from merely being wrong to being wronbg, stupid, crazy, mean, and putting it mildly, lacking compassion.
Knowing what I know of Steven (Hell) Anderson, I find myself wondering how much of her treatise is revelatory of her own marital relationship…
He does have anger issues. It’s a reasonable line of questioning.
Thus spake Zsuszanna. Reading this was almost funny except that it’s too tragic to laugh at.
” A wife could pray and fast for her husband/marriage, and for the kids to turn out right in spite of marital problems. If nothing else, it will be a great lesson for the kids”.
It horrifies me that she’s telling people this. Children learn behavior from their parents. If their parents model bad behavior the children will be beasts as well.
[...] Pastor’s Wife at Faitful Word Baptist Excuses Domestic Abuse. Read more [...]
Although this story is, of course, horrifying, it should not stop us from talking stock of what goes on in the gay community in terms of domestic violence. Most gay rights leaders don’t want even to mention the subject, for fear of calling negative attention to gay people (even though abuse occurs at the same rate among straight and gay couples). Because the gay community doesn’t care about its own, when it comes to domestic violence victims, straight society doesn’t care much about those victims either. The result is that the abusers basically are free to abuse over and over and over again. Brad Ingalls, who works for Sotheby’s in New York City, held a victim hostage to death threats at knife point, and regular beatings and rapes for two years before hoisting the victim up into the air, slamming him to the floor and then viciously trampling him, rupturing his spleen. The victim was suffering heavy internal bleeding but did not get to the surgical intensive care unit for almost two days,because the abuser was holding him hostage. There was an appearance of corruption between Ingalls’ attorneys and the Manhattan D.A. – imagine that the D.A. did not even collect obviously admissible evidence, such as security camera videos from Ingalls’ luxury building. In the end, with much struggle (which included the victim having to hear the D.A. say “We’ve seen worse injuries than yours,” Ingalls pleaded guilty to a reduced charge with a wrist-slap penalty. His crime was never reported with his name in any standard news venue or any online news venue – but – what do you know – he was featured as a real estate expert on Live with Regis. One of his attorneys, Richard Socarides, “friended” him on Facebook without disclosing that he’s taking his money to represent him. In other words, even after the conviction, Richard Socarides lends his name as an endorsement of the abuser on a site where the abuser could very well be seeking additional victims. The most vulnerable of gay people need us to speak up for them, and for us to send strong and unwavering messages to abusers that their crimes will not be tolerated, and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Scott, I’ve never heard of this case. Can you provide a link to read more.
I do have to say that while I understand the outrage at domestic violence among glbt people I don’t think it’s really fair to say “Because the gay community doesn’t care about its own”. While I’m sure there may be gay people out there who would say that the abused person brought it on themselves I’ve never heard anyone in a position like this pastor’s wife say it.