Couple gets married in Vermont, wants to get divorced in Nebraska, and that’s a typical story, right? Except that it’s a same-sex couple, and that whole long ago useless Federalism thing is making things weird. In this case, the judge says that since same-sex couples can’t marry in Nebraska, they surely can’t divorce either:
Judge Randall Rehmeier ruled that a lesbian couple married in Vermont eight years ago couldn’t get a divorce decree in Nebraska because Nebraska only recognizes heterosexual marriage.
The divorce was sought by a Nebraska City woman who wanted to break the Vermont marriage with her partner.
However, Rehmeier did issue a ruling involving parenting, visitation rights for the couple’s 4-year-old daughter, child support and other matters.
How bizarre.
Well, if the are not married in Nebraska, they can now formally marry a man without a problem. I think that would be the ultimate test to see how far they want to go. After they get married in Nebraska, they could test the federal government by moving to Vermont and see if they accept the new marriage, which mean that they are officially married to two people in Vermont. What is the federal stance in bigamy?
There is no federal law against bigamy. it’s a state issue. ironic, isn’t it?
Well, technically yes, but all states have laws against polygamy. The question remains, it is possible to have a legal bigamy in the US?
I just wish married gay and straight couples would stop taking civil marriage so lightly.
Well, we don’t necessarily know whether this particular couple was taking marriage “lightly.”
The idea that divorce is the easy way out is a myth.
I was speaking in general terms. But to be honest unless there is some form of abuse or if a marriage is built on a lie I see no reason why couples can’t work harder on keeping their marriages together.
While I agree that getting divorce is a easy way out is a myth. I still think a lot people don’t make a strong enough effort in keeping their relationships in tact.
I dunno. I’ve seen it firsthand and recently, and I know just from observing that often a couple where there ISN’T abuse or whatever else, but where it’s just wrong, in general, can be the hardest and most painful to leave, because you don’t have the adrenaline of a giant blow-out, but more the uncertainty and fear that comes with a whimper.
Alonzo, why do you think they’re taking marriage lightly? We know nothing about the particulars of their situation–at least not from this article.
I’m not accusing the couple in this case of taking anything lightly.
Am I not allowed to speak in general term on this site? If so please let me know and I will refrain from doing so going forward.
Alonzo, when you speak “generally” on a specific topic you can’t blame others for taking your comment specifically.
My point was that I think it’s quite a generalization to make.
Also Alonzo, “Am I not allowed to speak in general term on this site?”
Of course you are, and people are allowed to disagree with you.
“I just wish married gay and straight couples would stop taking civil marriage so lightly.”
Nowhere in my original comment did I say this applied to the couple in the story. Nor did I say divorce was a easy way out.
Someone disagreeing with me is fine and is expected, making assumptions about something I never said is not.
Alonzo, fine, you were referring to a lot of other couples that this article wasn’t about, you just thought you’d post it in an article that talked about a specific couple. You weren’t being judgemental of this couple–you were being judgemental of a lot of unnamed couples out there who take marriage lightly–but not the couple the article was about.
Yes I’m very judgemental of any couple who take civil marriage lightly.
Alonzo said “Nowhere in my original comment did I say [taking marriage lightly] applied to the couple in the story.”.
Alonzo making the comment about couples taking marriage lightly in this thread strongly implied you were referring to the couple mentioned here. You have no one to blame but yourself for people thinking you were saying this couple took marriage lightly.
OMFG I didn’t blame anyone! Everyone who has posted on this thread is entitled to his or her opinion. I made a simple comment and yes it was slightly of topic but I had an opinion and I expressed it. But it was NEVER directed at the couple in this case.
So please point out where I placed blame on anyone who has responded to my comment.
Peace everybody!
Easy solution: when making a OT generalization that doesn’t necessarily apply to the specific article, just prefacing said comment with a “not saying this applies here, but…” solves the problem.
ON Topic: I’m glad that the judge at least resolved the parental visitation and other issues, instead of disappearing the rights of one member of the couple, as has been done in other cases. Breaking up a love relationship (legal or not) is hard enough, without any dependents suffering more than necessary due to outside bigotry.
Alonzo said “So please point out where I placed blame on anyone who has responded to my comment.”
When Daniel said “Alonzo, why do you think they’re taking marriage lightly?”
You blamed him for asking that question by saying “Am I not allowed to speak in general term on this site?”.
When Becky responded with “Of course you are, and people are allowed to disagree with you.” you once again blamed people on the site for assuming you were talking about this couple when you responded with “Someone disagreeing with me is fine and is expected, making assumptions about something I never said is not.”.
Once again, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself for people making an assumption about what you strongly implied.
My response to Daniel was
‘I’m not accusing the couple in this case of taking anything lightly.”
My original comment was “I just wish married gay and straight couples would stop taking civil marriage so lightly.”
I’ll admit it was off topic but where in the hell in that comment does it imply that I was talking about the couple in this case?
I’m not placing blame on anyone as a matter fact I don’t think there’s any blame to place. It was a GENERALIZED comment and nothing more.
Alonzo, when you make a comment like that in a thread about a couple divorcing naturally people are going to think you’re talking about them. If you can’t see how obvious that is there’s no help for you. You complained as though other commenters were in the wrong for assuming you were referring to this couple when it is you who was in the wrong for not specifiying immediately that you were not referring to them.
I never said anyone was in the wrong and I don’t think anyone is wrong. All I’ve been trying to do is clarify that I was GENERALIZING starting with my first comment.
I FREELY ADMIT IT WAS MY ERROR IN NOT STATING I WAS SPEAKING IN GENERAL TERMS WITH MY FIRST COMMENT!
What else do freaking want me say?
BTW: Off topic and generally speaking I wish married gay and straight couples would stop taking civil marriage so lightly.
don’t worry about priya alonzo, unless you agree with her exact specified opinions you’ll be as good as a NOM donor in her eyes. I wasn’t offended by your comment.
Alonzo said “I FREELY ADMIT IT WAS MY ERROR IN NOT STATING I WAS SPEAKING IN GENERAL TERMS WITH MY FIRST COMMENT!
What else do freaking want me say?”.
That was it. Thank you.
Oh, its Emily again, my very own blog stalker. I wasn’t offended by Alonzo’s comment either Emily, you idiot.
Thank You Emily!
Priya I said in my second comment since this all began that I was generalizing – and now that I see you’re the type of person who feels it’s respectful to call someone a idiot – I will be taking Emily’s advice going forward.