So there!  If ever there was an “ex-liberal” pundit I’ve suspected that the Religious Right actually may have created in a secret dungeon, it’s Star Parker.  Because she says things like this:

I became a conservative in church. I thought I was doing okay in my previous life — scamming the welfare system, going to the beach, soaking in my welfare-subsidized hot tub, treating sex as a hobby, and abortion as birth control.

You see, she was one of those “welfare queen” Rush Limbaugh is always talking about, scaring the old white ladies so! And to be fair, Star did have four abortions, so she knows what she’s talking about. [No, she doesn't.] Anyway, she would like to explain why she did not go to CPAC now:

Yes, the reason I declined was the inclusion of GOProud, a group identifying itself as representing “gay conservatives and their allies,” as a sponsor of the event.

[...]

The founder and chairman of GOProud removed any doubt on my part that not participating was the correct decision by dismissing these groups as “losers,” “clowns,” and “not relevant.”

For once, yes, GOProud actually said something to imply that perhaps they are deserving of dignity and shouldn’t be a doormat for the rest of the conservative movement.

I, of course, have been accused of being worse than a clown.

WORSE THAN A CLOWN? There is nothing worse than a clown.

The idea of “gay conservative” is an oxymoron.

“Gay” is everything that “conservative” is not.

[...]

It’s a worldview that is man-centered rather than God-centered. It is a worldview that rejects eternal truths passed on from the beginning of time. Although the worldview that “gay conservatives” choose to invent may diverge from the worldview of liberals, their common ground is they make it all up.

Ah, it’s the old “we’re smart because we believe our interpretation of things in an old faith book, without any corroborating evidence, you’re stupid” approach. It’s adorable because it’s so mindblowingly stupid.

Conservatives believe that there are objective and eternal truths, not of the product of any individual human mind, that are transmitted through the generations.

Like Old Wives’ Tales!

“Gay” is liberal, not conservative, regardless of what their stand may be on government spending or taxes.

Okay, got it.  Gays not conservatives because gays don’t believe in old wives’ tales, and I used to be a welfare queen, so I’m an expert.