Next to the public park with the kids playing.
But he totally wasn’t jerking off to the kids, honest!
Reverend Grant Storms was booked on Friday after his arrest at Lafreniere Park. Witnesses told investigators they saw the man fondling himself in his van while watching children on the playground.
JPSO authorities said Storms admitted to the offense. He denies the charge and says no children were around.
Right.
You’ll remember from yesterday that this is the fundamentalist pastor who runs around Southern Decadence in New Orleans [and other places] preaching with huge signs listing the various kinds of people [including peodphiles] who will be burning in hell. His original story is that he was urinating in a bottle, which is strange in and of itself in the middle of a day in a van next to a park where kids are playing…
okay…when you wank it in your car you should at the very least be away from children. You should also be away from where people will see you spanking it. You know what? Everybody does it, just do it in your bedroom, shower, or anywhere else in private. Like religion, it should be an intensely personal matter.
Dear Pastorbator Storms,
Please do keep telling blatant lies to the police. They LOVE that sort of thing and will reward you with cookies.
Gah. This would come close to topping the Bob Allen Big Black Guy Defense if kids weren’t involved. I’m willing to bet this isn’t a first for him.
Oh but Trevor, only gays beat off in private. Godly straight men, do it in public.
That’s my thing about his new excuse that he’s addicted to porn [such a fundamentalist Christian affliction], and that he was looking at porn like an hour before he WENT TO THE PARK TO JERK OFF.
Like, dude? Nobody on the planet cares if you jerk off at home, unless of course, you’re looking at kids. And who knows, really.
ain’t no bigot like a religious fundamentalist bigot!
Closeted bigots never cease to amaze me…always brings to mind the old saying “Thou doth protest too much”. I question the motives of anyone who is so insecure with sexuality.
Not that I want pictures or anything but just what kind of porn was he looking at BEFORE he drove to the park to masturbate in front of kids?
Poor guy. Sitting at home in a dark room looking at porn and he thinks to himself “It’s a lovely day outside and a little Vitamin D will do wonders for the ol’ Staff of Moses, I think I’ll go to the park for a wank.”
It’s not his fault that those interfering kids showed up.