The Lord moves in mysterious ways, sometimes even sort of straight up and down with a firm grip mellowed by a little dab of Lubriderm.
He suggests that the two big stories of the week, that of the arrest of anti-gay street preacher Grant Storms, for wanking in a van by a playground with kiddies nearby, and the fact that batsh*t “prophet” Janet Porter has scheduled a fetus to testify on an abortion bill in Ohio are indeed related, as Storms may have just been “doing the Lord’s Work, that is, spontaneously creating thousands of tiny little witnesses that he was going to take to the nearest Congressional committee to testify about the evils of abortion.”
One day maybe I will be like Thers.
Thinking along similar lines is General JC Christian of Jesus’ General, who suggests that Pastor Storms might be able to help out with the Ohio hearings:
I believe I can get Pastor Grant Storms to provide your committee with a billion newly-freed Spematazoan-American witnesses. You may have heard of him. He promotes the heterosexual lifestyle by going to playgrounds, whipping out his holy staff, and liberating his trapped Spermatazoan-American brothers onto the monkey bars.
I don’t think it has to be monkey bars. I bet he’d liberate them onto the witness table’s microphone if that’d be more convenient.
AND scene.
gross.
::::SNORT::::
You f*****g queers don’t see the big picture, and even with an explanation it wouldn’t do any good. The issue here is Grant Storms was right on in preaching against homosexuality. You queers want to f**k each other in the a*s without anybody telling you it is wrong. You know inherently that you are fucked up; any guy that wants to put his dick in another guy’s hairy a*s has a serious mental problem. YOU ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP AND SHOULD BE LOCKED UP SOMEWHERE, a*****e. You should be glad you do it and don’t get more harrassed than you are, f*****g queers. Grant Storms simply has his own issues with sin and innappropriate behavior. So, taking a hard cock up the a*s may be taking it up the Hershey Highway, but it is not the high road. So, you should just shut your faggot mouths before a real man shuts it for you. Amen to that?
Wow, I guess this means that I’ll just be having oral sex from now on. Larry apparently approves of that, since he didn’t rail against it.
And I guess it’s ok for “any guy that wants to put his dick in another [woman's] hairy a*s”, right, Larry?
Thanks for the early morning laugh! :-)
LOL! :) Posts like that are the BEST proof we have won the arguement in society. Thanks for the laugh and showing us we really are better than you Larry. I got some Army and Marine pals in Afghanistan who you would not threaten to shut up to their face by the way.
And if you met me in person…probably not me either ;) ‘course, real men dont make anonymous threats in places like this, so, I don’t think anyone should be TO worried. You have shown what kind of ‘man’ (ahem) you are.
Now Larry, instead of getting yourself all worked up over sexual practices of consenting homosexual adults, why don’t you take your anti-A.F.ing crusade to all the straights who do it when they don’t even have to?
That’s always puzzled me. You are surrounded by people doing all sorts of unbiblical things, since there’s nothing queers do that straights don’t do! I bet you’ve done a few of them yourself.
If not, no wonder you’re so angry and sad. In any case, “simply has his own issues” is the new gold standard for hypocritical rationalizations by closet-case anger monkeys. And you kiss your children (who might have been some of Storms viewing objects while he invoked the Dirty Spirit to come upon him) with that mouth? Blechhh.
Thanks for the fun!
For the record, I am not “Mr” anything; computer fail. I am Mrs. Polly, straight woman and practitioner of unGodliness like you wouldn’t believe. ;0}
Thank you, Mrs. Polly, for cracking me up with your “practitioner of unGodliness” quip! :-)~
Wow, Larry, you seem to do A LOT of thinking about a*s-f*****g – in graphic detail. Maybe it’s not so much thinking, as it is fantasy – a fantasy that frightens you, and thus compels you to lash out against it. Why is that?
Richard, if I shaved my nether regions, do you think it would be ok with Larry if I had butt-secks then? :-)
Daddy, I just love it when you talk butch.
Silly Larry, you’re not a real man.
Mrs. Polly said “In any case, “simply has his own issues” is the new gold standard for hypocritical rationalizations by closet-case anger monkeys.”.
“Closet-case anger monkeys”! Hee Haw! That’s a good one, I hope I can remember it to use myself down the road.
Richard said “Wow, Larry, you seem to do A LOT of thinking about a*s-f*****g – in graphic detail. Maybe it’s not so much thinking, as it is fantasy…”.
Same thing occurred to me Richard. I noticed Larry didn’t say “taking cock up the a*s”, he said “taking hard cock up the a*s”, seems pretty gay to me to specify “hard” and not just cock.
priya– soft ones don’t work very well.
Ben, really?
Actually, I think the hard part is implicit with “taking cock up the a*s”, it just seems like only someone who’s excited by the idea would somewhat redundantly specify “hard”.