I just don’t know what to do with this story, so I’ll let commenters hash it out:
Rabbis from the religious Zionist community have launched an initiative to marry gay men to lesbian women – with some surprising successes.
So far, 11 marriages have been performed. Haaretz conducted an email interview with one such couple, Etti and Roni (not their real names ).
Etti and Roni, both religious, were married five years ago. Though they were honest with each other about their sexual orientations from their first meeting, to the outside world, they portray themselves as a normal heterosexual couple. Today, they have two children, and are thrilled with the results.
So, they’re building sexless marriages, by design, which I can’t imagine is healthy in the long-term for any committed couple. On the other hand, they’re not lying about it like Christian fundamentalists do. Score one for some kind of halfway-there version of integrity?
Gay-lesbian marriages have long been practiced among the ultra-Orthodox, but the current initiative is different in that it stems not from an effort to sweep the issue under the carpet, but from a growing acknowledgment of homosexuality, prompted in part by four organizations for religious homosexuals: Havruta, Bat Kol, Hod and Kamocha.
Harel explained that while secular homosexuals see gay marriage as the solution, religious homosexuals are often unwilling to violate the halakhic prohibition on homosexual sex, and are thus seeking other solutions.
“Most of the couples agree not to have relationships with members of their own sex, but if there are ‘lapses’ once every few years, they don’t see this as a betrayal,” he said. “Generally, it’s between them and their Creator.”
I’d have to say that this falls under the heading “To Each His Own,” but it’s still sad the way that people will allow religious dogma to deny them the fullness of life, including a true, intimate relationship with another human being. The piece mentions that Roni attempted conversion therapy, but of course, it didn’t work, because conversion therapy never works.
Oh, and:
Two of the couples Harel married are now in the process of divorce. And he said he is very worried about whether the children of these experimental marriages will end up suffering.
Yeah. Unsurprising.
As a Jewish person, all I can say is that this is an embarrassment and a disgrace to our religion. Such backwardness is quite harmful. These folks, need to get within a century of the modern era.
It is so sad how people destroy others in the name of religion.
Let us be clear.
These are not forced marriages in any way. Although there is some degree of familial pressure, these marriages are offered as a solution to those who would like to live a certain lifestyle in which they understand homosexual relationships to be improper.
Might it work for you? That is for you to answer. Here is something they want to try.
Such backwardness might be harmful, but to them it’s the only way out. And they’re not lying about it; they don’t sleep in the same bed and conceive through artificial insemination. They just feel the need, as Mormon gays do, to be a part of The Traditional Family(TM).
Much of the opposition to gay equality comes from the Haredi. Most of the time when you see Jews calling for an “end to Sodom” they’re wearing black hats with long beards.
In Israel that sect is often resented because, as like here with Christian Fundies, they control much of the government and have sweet “dole” deals to stay home and study, and to never have to serve in the IDF.
The Modern Orthodox movement however, here and abroad, is coming around to gay equality. Many already fully accept gays as moral equals to straights.
So they are deliberately creating marriages that are designed to be dysfunctional in a fundamental aspect. While knowing how many marriages fail after being entered into with the best intentions, they are designing these marriages to virtually guarantee failure. And presumably they feel that this is a more favorable environment to raise children than one in which same-sex spouses love each other in a comprehensive way. And they believe this will please their god! If there really is a god, can s/he really be that stupid?
As is so typical of religious fanatics, their authentic natures and feelings are wrung out of them, and all that remains are empty shells whose lives become a series of performances that reward them with standing ovations from their fellow fanatics and their god.
Oh, and I noticed that Etti and Roni were not the real names of the empty shells profiled in the story.
The Mormons have been doing this for years.
It doesn’t work.
‘unwilling to violate the halakhic prohibition on homosexual sex, and are thus seeking other solutions.’
Logic dictates one question: How is this a solution to the desire for emotional fulfillment and sexual intimacy with a partner of the same sex? This is nothing but the typical religious sham. AND, of course, if they cheat on each other in the fulfillment of their natural desires, then they have sinned against their marriage. I see that the “big” plus is that it “looks” like the REAL thing. A false front, to be sure. How do people, otherwise intelligent, think that such a sham and a lie is good, acceptable, and pleasant in the eyes of God? It is a true, but deliberate, phony. As long as it look good, folks. The proverbial “Wolf in sheeps’ clothing”. Haha.