Watching Rick Santorum try to do things, not any specific things in particular, just things, is like watching a particularly pathetic trainwreck. He’s not like Michele Bachmann — she’s bat crazy, but she’s smart. No, he’s about one step below Palin on the official Ladder of Stupid. This is why his campaign will sadly peter out like everything he does, and he’ll be left standing with the butthurt gaze of a child who always gets picked last for solo sports.
Recently, Santorum decided to explain how gay marriage isn’t as good as straight marriage by standing in a grocery store and telling everybody that napkins aren’t paper towels, no matter how much you try to use them as paper towels. You get it? Napkins are QUEERS, you guys. And paper towels are BRAWNY, which means they’re heterosexual, because the dude on that package doesn’t look gay at all.
Of course, it’s a stupid analogy because sometimes people use paper towels as napkins, especially at picnics, which would mean a lot of “straight men” would look pretty gay when they’re at public parks…
Oh wait. Never mind, the analogy is great.
Anyway, here’s Lawrence O’Donnell making fun of dumb dumb.
My only beef with Lawrence’s analysis is that he ties the stupid napkins vs. paper towels analogy into the larger phenomenon of politicians trying to be jus’ folks and failing miserably because so many politicians are indeed far removed from the “common man” and really don’t know what the hell they’re talking about when it comes to common household items. That analogy would apply for a lot of politicians, yes, but not Rick Santorum.
He’s just stupid.
[h/t Towleroad]
What? That guy on the Brawney packaging is NOT GAY???? Now I really don’t like Santorum. I don’t want to hear his thoughts about the “Jolly” Green Giant.
Okay, wait…I can’t use a napkin as a paper towel and vice verse because it says napkin for wiping mouth and hands only? Wait…now I am confused.
I sometimes use napkin to clean my glasses off, I also use napkin to blow my nose in. I also use napkin as a bandage if I cut myself if I not have a bandage available. If I spill something on the floor and not have paper towel handy, I use a napkin or I use a dish rag, whichever tends to be handy.
I also use paper towels for many things, as well. Yes, I use paper towel as a napkin since I don’t buy napkins often. I use paper towel as dust rag when I am cleaning my house. I use paper towel to clean up messes on counter top if I don’t have a dish rag handy. I sometimes use paer towels to clean my glasses or when I am bleeding I use paper towel as bandage, as well as napkin.
I think Rick Santorum is comparing apples to oranges and doesn’t really get that items can have multiple uses and purposes. And why is he so hung up on comparing same sex marriage to polygamy and incest. I think it’s this slippery slope argument that he is trying to hammer home to his constituents: If we allow same sex marriage, then we have to allow people to marry corpses or to have sex with their children or dogs or have as many wives as possible.
Look Rick, not to burst your bubble…but seriously! Mormons have more than ONE wife and practice polygamy but we don’t hear you wail on them. And I highly doubt anyone is going to marry their dog or cat or horse or whatever…straw man argument there. And I SERIOUSLY doubt that anyone in their right mind is going to want to have sex or even THINK of marrying somebody who is earth fodder for the worms! THAT, to me, is THE most REPULSIVE thing on earth I have EVER heard of!.
I had to laugh when I saw the smiley corn cob balloon floating in the background, as if it were laughing at what ol’ frothy was saying about paper towels and napkins of all things! And when I first saw that Paninis sign over the deli, at first it look like it said Penisis (I know that’s not how you spell penises). Little Ricky obviously doesn’t have any gay guys choreographing his public speaking venues. Or maybe he does. >:-P
And Little Ricky takes yet another step into the Sea of Irrelevance. If he keeps going he’ll drown soon enough.
It would seem Santorum and Sanitarium are as closely linked as paper towels and paper napkins. How do inmates get these circus acts media covered? Oh that’s right. It’s entertainment. Sex sells. Silly me.
It’s amazing how poking at the “straight” collective erect penis of the paternal American male mockup brings out the looniest of loons. “You can touch it but don’t tell anyone or your dead”. The biggest dust bunnie. Ever.
Machismo at the expense of reality has it’s own
brick wall to hit.
I do love this new reclining easy
chair.
Popcorn anyone?
[...] hours ago, I wrote a post about Rick Santorum making a fool of himself standing in a grocery store explaining that gay [...]
“You can call it whatever you want. It doesn’t change the characteristics of what it is.” He can call himself whatever he wants but it doesn’t change the characteristics of himself – a big f*****g dum-dum. He is obviously one of those guys who never quite measured up to being a cool jock, but politics gives him the opportunity to try. It is a sad thing to watch.
Napkins and papers towels are intrinsically PAper products.
Hell, I’ve WRITTEN and DRAWN on napkins and what I’ve jotted or doodled aren’t any LESS words or drawing because it’s on a napkin and not a piece of paper in a sketch pad, or foolscap, or what-have-you.
Case closed.
[...] attempt to make anti-gay issues relevant in his failing campaign for president. First it was his assertion that because napkins are not paper towels, gay marriage is evil. Then we started laughing harder [...]