Two hours ago, I wrote a post about Rick Santorum making a fool of himself standing in a grocery store explaining that gay marriage is bad because napkins ARE NOT paper towels, no matter how absorbent they are, or something or other, and you can’t just go substituting a paper towel for a napkin or vice versa, because if you do, you’ll become gay, at which point you’ll have to stop everything and spend thousands of dollars praying the gay away, and you could have avoided all of that if you had just bought napkins, you dillweed.
I think that was the gist of his argument anyway.
Well, due to the intrepid Pam, we now know that Rick’s metaphor wasn’t a one-off thing, but rather a variation on a new theme he’s trying out. Just as napkins are not paper towels, Santorum is here to inform us that water is decidedly not beer, therefore God Hates Fags:
[via Think Progress]
Hahahah, okay, so new party game, you guys: Pick up any two objects within your arms’ reach and ‘splain to everyone around you how they’re not the same thing, then hurl an anti-gay slur! It’s fun!
Top it all off by getting everyone to Google “Santorum.”
A pink tie? Really…that’s a really pink tie, and that suit seems a bit lavender in the photo. So, Santorum is just a fashionable dresser…from the 80′s? Anyway, I think I’ll go pick up some lookee-lookee towels now.
I think Rick raises an important point about wood-pulp products. Processed cellulose really is the key to understanding God’s Moral Plan for the universe.
I am checking our stationary cupboard fast.
I meant ‘stationery’, of course
And a bigot is what a bigot is. You can say that you’re not a bigot, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t one.
And actually beer is water with some kick to it. Did he think up this clever comparison device – water/beer, paper “tals”/napkins – all by himself? It certainly sounds like his kind of clever – completely asinine. Go Ricky!
Somebody remind him that Jesus turned water to wine at a wedding. If he’d been at a frat party, I’m sure he’d have turned it to beer.
You just couldn’t write this stuff! Hahaha! No wonder other countries think we’re a bit daft!
That youtube vid reminds me of a TV show for pre-schoolers (kids, can you tell me what this is? A glass of water, that’s right).
Perhaps indicative of the mental capacity of the voters he appeals to?
Yeah … but Rick, don’t you remember? Jesus changed water into wine.
What is up with that suit!
Love the pink tie, Ricky. Closet case.
He’s not closet case, even closet cases have a better sense of style.
I never noticed that suit and tie before, it doesn’t get much gayer than that.
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Lookin’ kinda twee in that seersucker suit and oink tie, there Rick. Gonna raise some eyebrows.