allen west Allen West Out Santorums Santorum With Metaphors!Oh lordy.

So you all know about Rep. Allen West, right?  He’s a Florida Teabagger Congressman, representing the district next to that of Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  As he lives in her district, he’s actually one of her constituents.  He made the news a few weeks back when he was simply outraged that Wasserman Schultz criticized his policy beliefs on the floor of Congress and fired off an angry e-mail that basically said, “Thou shalt not speak to me in that way, mere woman!”  My favorite piece on that incident is from TBogg and was headlined “Allen West Don’t Take No Sassy Mouth.”

Kind of a pig, he is.  He also doesn’t like the gays very much.

But, being as this is Santorum Metaphor Week, West decided to separate himself from the pack by explaining how much of a choice homosexuality is via, you guessed it, METAPHOR!  Dear god:

“I like chocolate chip ice cream, and I will continue to like chocolate chip ice cream. So there’s no worry about me changing to vanilla. I like to, you know, ride my motorcycle. What do you want me to do? You want me to change my behavior and ride a scooter? I’m not into that. People can change their sexual behavior. And I’ve seen people do that. I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, so I’ve seen a very different perspective on human behaviors. So that’s where I’m coming from on that.”

Hooooookay, so…Allen West’s turn-ons: chocolate chip, vroom vroom, vaginas. Turn-offs: Vanilla, scooters, wing-wangs.

Also, why is he talking about Atlanta? Is he taking inspiration somehow from Bishop Eddie Long? Because if that’s your token “ex-gay,” you need to keep digging.

Anyway. I really have nothing to say about this besides the fact that this man is obviously too stupid, misogynistic and homophobic to hold elected office in the United States.

[h/t Nicole Cliffe @ The Hairpin]