If Linda Harvey had her way, I surmise, gay people really wouldn’t be allowed to do much of anything. Unfortunately for her, lots of the best doctors in the country are gay — indeed, I would venture a guess that a gay doctor has cared for Linda at some time or another, which means, according to her logic here, that she has been influenced by the Cootie of Gay. Here is Linda Harvey of the surely-about-to-be-named-a-hate-group Mission America, commenting on how the sexuality of physicians is more important than the health of children:

How do you feel about open homosexuals tending to your child in a health care setting? Do you think these folks provide good role modeling at a time when your child is very vulnerable? I was thinking about this recently when I heard that Children’s Hospital in Columbus has a homosexual employees group called NCHARGE, which stands for Nationwide Children’s Hospital’s Advocates Representing Gay Employees. The meeting minutes of this groups reveal that they participated in last June’s gay pride parade, that they participated in a health expo on adolescent health this summer and that they’re concerned about same-sex partner benefits. They’re also planning to be identified with rainbow lapel pins.

But let’s say your eleven year-old has broken her leg rather badly and needs to be in the hospital a few days, which would you prefer: a nurse who’s proud of her lesbianism, who has rainbow identifiers on her work clothing, or a nurse who does not?

I would like to suggest that parents think long and hard about this. If you want your children to admire people who proclaim a homosexual lifestyle, they’re involvement with your child during a hospital stay is sure to be an influence. And let me be clear that folks involved in these behaviors can be certainly competent workers but they are tacking on to their workplace identity one that is highly offensive to many people and can be erroneously influential to children who won’t, or shouldn’t, see the whole picture of how this behavior really manifests itself.

Here’s what parents can do: select your pediatrician very carefully, first of all. There are a few homosexual doctors treating kids, there are far more nurses, LPNs, technicians and other health care workers in these lifestyles so you may want to consider writing a letter that you file with your pediatrician that should your child ever be hospitalized, you do not want your child to be treated or cared for by one of these members of the Children’s Hospital gay employees group except in the case of an emergency situation. But for routine in-hospital care where contact with your child would be required, your values should be respected.

Um, yeah. Along the same lines, I would also suggest that Fundamentalists stay true to their beliefs and only see doctors who believe in Creationism. I mean, it’s not like evolution is the freaking foundation of biology or medical science or anything. Here’s the video if you’re bored to death or something:

Dan Savage points out that Linda does make an exception to this rule, which truly makes me question her commitment to Sparkle Motion*:

Harvey notes that straight parents should clearly communicate that it’s okay for gay and lesbian doctors and nurses to treat their children in “emergency situations,” which can be seen as either tremendously gracious on Harvey’s part—”Well, okay, that lesbian nurse can save my daughter’s life”—or as the kind of wishy-washy moral relativism that is destroying the moral fabric of this great nation.

ANYWAY, so now you know. Fundamentalists really need to be more concerned with who their doctors and nurses sleep with at night, rather than whether they have the expertise required to care for their sick or injured children. Priorities!

*Oh, my god. I had never thought of that before. THAT is who Linda Harvey reminds me of! If you haven’t seen Donnie Darko, watch this clip, then Netflix the movie.