Former restaurant industry lobbyist, talk-show host, motivational speaker, and Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain dropped out of the GOP presidential race at a rally in Atlanta on Saturday, citing “false” attacks on his character that prevented him from getting his message out. Cain, in a noticeably less caffeinated speech than has been his custom, alleged that “elites” and political reporters had conspired to take down his reputation. Cain’s not exiting politics, though; he’s moving on to what he repeatedly referred to as “Plan B”—a new website devoted to sharing his solutions for fixing America.
The site, “Cain Solutions,” is currently empty.
If it makes the not-candidate feel any better, Tbogg came up with a great idea for Herman’s next business venture that combines his love of the ladies with his love of the ladies:
It’s doubtful whether this wimmens who luv Herman website will help his campaign at this late point as his poll numbers are going down faster than one of his job applicants, but we can be sure that the Women For Herman Cain website will live on well after the campaign folds up it’s harem tents and exits the dusty campaign trail. It will serve as a testimony to Presidential dreams thwarted as well as a sort of eHarmony for Herman (eHermany!.. trademark that bitch!) to be consulted as he travels our great nation’s byways and highways giving inspirational speeches about leadership and success,only to go back to a cold and lonely hotel room where his only company is some cold roomservice pizza and Cinemax After Dark.
And that is why we love Tbogg.
[awesome, hilarious photo by Elise Amendola/AP]