This doesn’t have much to do with gays or gay rights, but it’s Sunday night [as I'm writing this] and I don’t care, because I’m too busy making fun of it:
If you’re a conservative or tea partier or libertarian or war veteran who lies awake at night wondering why there’s no band out there that really understands you, The Daily Caller has you covered.
Meet Madison Rising.
Must I? “If you’re a teabagger who lies awake at night wondering why very little of any artistic value has been contributed by conservatives over the course of human history, here, I have something mediocre to distract you for a while.”
Named for Founding Father James Madison, they’re a “libertarian … pro-American … pro-constitution” rock band. Where other bands sing about ex-girlfriends and drunken nights, Madison Rising sings about Occupy Wall Street, the Second Amendment and liberal media bias.
Yeah! Guns and hating protesters who thwart the corporatocracy and guns and stuff and, oh yeah, people make fun of Gretchen Carlson a lot!
RAWK!
As a songwriter, I am thrilled to hear more.
“There are a lot of country acts that are out there that’ll say they’re all about the USA, and then in the next song they’re talking about bar fights and drinking beer in a bar,” explained Bray in an interview with The Daily Caller. “We’re not against those things, but our album and our message is very strictly” on topic, he said.
“We’re not gifted enough songwriters to compose music on a variety of topics, and so instead simply choose to write crappy pablum for teabaggers for whom country songs about lost love are too gay.”
He wants kids, whose initial instincts might be to go out and do something unproductive “to hear his music and say, “I’m going to go and I’m going to do something a little bit more positive with my life. I’m not going stand around with a sign … I’m going to start a business.”
And if Wall Street runs their small businesses into the ground, they still won’t hold signs! Slurp, slurp.
Okay, enough making fun of the band [for a minute], let’s make fun of a few commenters at Tucker Faye Carlson’s Daily Choler:
Don’t forget Ted Nugent.
The ultimate in conservative cool. So cool that millions of wingnuts have his picture on the wall in their house. Wait, that’s not a picture of Ted Nugent? I’m so confused.
Quoting this one in its entirety, because it comes from someone with the highly intellectual name of “BUSTER BAWLZ,” and is so, so funny:
Many would be surprised to know that Aerosmith are long time conservatives. They just don’t yak about it in public. Most of their fans are kool-aid drinking morons who truly ‘just wouldn’t understand’. Each of them has a gun collection that is astounding. At least two of them, ( the Toxic Twins, Steve and Joe ) have their Class 3 (?) machine gun licenses. They also collect High End Switchblade Knives. ( VERY High End ).
Ditto for the Stones. Peel back the layers on the Glimmer Twins and you will find a couple of guys who have raised some of the most ‘straight arrow’ kids you’ll ever see. Jagger’s youngest, a son, (sorry, can’t remember his name) would absolutely shock you to learn who his dad is. A handsome young man with a prep school background that is the antithesis of the rock star kid. Mick has been a very shrewd investor in stocks and bonds since the ’70′s.
I think that in the very near future, many, many rock stars and Hollywood types are going to come out of the conservative closet. The Left Wing in America is finished. We have seen where their ideas have led. Conservatism is ascendant.
Oh, Buster, you just keep waitin’! Do some wheelies in your Hoveround if you get bored while you’re waitin’!
I almost forgot to say, that Ted Nugent is EXACTLY what I want to see in my rock stars. 100%+ on gun rights, hates liberal socialist politicians, supports the troops, has a moral message against homosexuals, and isn’t afraid of the mainstream establishment when he goes out and stumps for Conservative candidates for office.
All the best rock stars hate fags.
Anyway, here are these nerds on Fox & Friends:
And here is the band showing you that yes, inexplicably, it is somehow possible to suck more than Nickelback.
What’s really sad about that song above is that it attempts [poorly] to tell a story about military families dealing with separation and loss, but the thing is that that’s not an experience limited to wingnut families. Indeed, it’s something that crosses all ideological boundaries, so considering the band’s beliefs that they’re telling a “conservative” story, it’s actually sort of offensive to this liberal writer who watched his liberal brother go off on tour after tour of duty for this country.
Also, they really, really, really suck.
Here is the band talking about how awesome they are and how “everyone” can enjoy their music.
Oh, wingnuts. When you’re not being the greatest threat to the American way of life ever seen, you sure as hell are [unintentionally] funny.
If you want to find out more about the band, click here. You can read lyrics like this jaunty chorus!
In The Days That Reagan Ruled
In The Days That Reagan Ruled
In The Days That Reagan Ruled
He was the Gipper, he had the knack
He took a bullet and he still came back
In The Days That Reagan Ruled!
In The Days That Reagan Ruled!
He was an honest man with a simple dream
A dream we should hold true
Hardcore, dudes. Hardcore.
[h/t Rumproast]
How…Pathetic…
somebody tell the ex wife how “conservative” Jagger and Bowie looked when she found them in bed together…to the ex wifes credit, when asked what she did afterwards, she said “I fried them eggs”…it was the morning afterall.
“Sucks” is right. Listened to them on Amazon. I think they need to head back to the family room or mommy and daddy’s garage. Painful.
Mick JAgger would be horrified to be lumped in with this lot.
Okay, is it just me or does there cover look like it belongs on a DVD from Raging Stallion? I mean for such a conservative, pro-American, traditional values band, their album cover looks a bit homo-erotic to say the least. And we all know what happens to conservatives who “support” a “pro-American agenda” at the expense of LGBT-rights too much…..
Having lived through the glorious Reagan years. I have to tell you kids, he f*****g sucked.
Aerosmith, the conservative family values band. Didn’t Steven Tyler have his daughter dress up and act like a w***e in Aerosmith’s music videos?
If you are known as the “toxic twins” how exactly are you conservative? ?
Im sure Mick looked pretty “conservative while eating that Mars bar out of Marianne Faithful’s vagina.
Not only do Conservatives have no real sense of humor, they obviously aren’t particularly creative either. Those Reagan song lyrics actually made me laugh out loud they were so bad. I think elementary school kids could come up with something better than that (especially if they had 2 mommies or 2 daddies). >;-)
Oh, my Sweet Lord-Gordy, you weren’t kidding about how bad they are.
The lyrics you quoted reminded me of the ones by a fictitious rock band depicted in a Jack Chick tract many years ago (“We’re gonna rock, rock, rock with the rock!”)
Reagan was “an honest man with a simple dream”? He lived in fantasy land, telling fantasy stories, cutting the safety net away from people with needs, ignoring AIDS, sending arms to foment foreign wars, funding the slaughter of catechists, teachers, the poor in Central America. He left the country with a big national debt. He was no great hero or truth teller. Social programs that Nixon put in place he cut.
As a nerd, i take offense to you using that term, a term that clearly describes people who are smart and often called upon for research or fact-checks in society. I cannot believe you would actually suggest that Fox and Friends actually HAD any kind of intelligence at all, much less what it takes to be a nerd.