This is a tale featuring so much heterosexuality I just don’t even know how to describe it:
Steven Wilson is a member of the Church living in the San Francisco Bay area. Twenty years ago, he was introduced to the Church by a recently returned missionary he met in a gay bar. The two eventually moved in together and during the next seven years, Steven developed addictions, contracted AIDS and became severely depressed. As Steven’s condition worsened and he began to feel that he was going to die, he turned to an in-depth investigation of the Church.
This is his story about how he joined the Church, and eventually became an ordinance worker at the Oakland Temple. He is now happy and no longer experiences temptations with same gender attraction. He was baptized by the same returned missionary that first introduced him to the Church and with whom he has lived for the past 20 years. During the past 13 years of active Church membership, the two men have maintained a close bond of love, friendship and brotherhood within the gospel.
AWWWW, they met a gay bar, then seven years later, Steven joined his “roommate’s” church! How sweet, it is like 1965 all over again!
I would make further fun of this supposed “conversion story,” or point out that for two Mor-men, it’s exceptionally WEIRD to move in with another guy for TWENTY YEARS, but The General already re-told the story for us:
“Hi there, Brother Hairybear,” the missionary presumably said, “have you heard the story about how an angel gave Joesph Smith a second testament of Christ and how Joseph translated it by staring at a stone in a hat? Would you like to be baptized, move in with me, and spend the rest of our lives living the heterosexual lifestyle together?”
Touched by the Spirit of the Lord in a very heterosexual kind of way, Steven immediately responded, “Take me, Elder InDenial, take me to your home, baptize me, and let us live the heterosexual lifestyle, together, as brothers.”
Twenty years later, they’re still living together in that house, living the life of chaste and fervently heterosexual bachelors.