Radical fundamentalist activists are meeting at a ranch outside Houston today and tomorrow hoping to line up behind a Republican presidential candidate that isn’t that dreaded Mormon guy. Currently their loyalties are divided between the peanut, the walnut, the Brazil nut, and the nut-job (Santorum). Such indecisiveness is giving Romney a decisive advantage in South Carolina.
The clandestine meeting has been endorsed by Focus on the Family co-founder James Dobson, the Southern Baptist Convention’s Richard Land and will likely be attended by American Values’ Gary Bauer, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, the American Family Association’s Donald Wildmon, and Skyline Church’s Rev. Jim Garlow.
If the extremists can’t decide on one nut to rally behind, they will discuss how to extort promises and blackmail Mitt Romney at the expense of America. According to the New York Times:
The evangelical leaders say they will also prepare for the strong possibility that Mr. Romney wins the nomination. In Texas, they expect to discuss what promises — in the party platform, in the choice of a vice-presidential candidate and in judicial appointments — they should seek from Mr. Romney in return for their enthusiastic support.
It seems this collection of crazies is overreaching and inadvertently aiming to make Romney unelectable. Their message to Romney: “If you are not really one of us, pretend that you are and succumb to our demands or we will whine and stay home on Election Day.”
Of course, expect Romney to bow at their feet. It seems that the shape-shifting, oleaginous Romney will say or do practically anything to win the support of these dangerous zealots.
Gee, let’s think hard and see if we can guess what these fundies will want in the platform. Hmmm? You can bet on two things: Constitutional amendments to outlaw abortion and gay marital equality. I really strained to come up with those.
Don’t forget stacking the courts with judges who have sworn their loyalty to the conservative movement rather than America.
With such dissension in the Republican ranks, it looks like President Obama will not have as much difficulty as previously believed in getting re-elected. This is also in addition to the buyer’s remorse that many Independents and Moderate Republicans are having with the Tea Party politicians.
I still remember 2004. Unlike now, there was a hell of a lot more unity among liberals and Democrats and John Kerry still lost. One can only hope that the Christianists will stay home this year. We could very well be hearing “Four More Years!” this November.
I wish you were right Nick…but these fanatics hate one thing more than each other, and the “less than perfect” other candidates.
Obama.
I am sure a few wont vote at all because of Romney being in a cult, but most will hold their nose and vote for him.
I pray you are right about 4 more years, but, I don’t think so :(
Gene – I must respectfully disagree. I don’t think President Obama will have it easy. Not by a long shot. However, given the lack of charisma and lack of coherent message of the GOP alternatives, I don’t believe the GOP can capture the White House. Not to mention the backlash the Republican candidates are currently facing when they engage in anti-LGBT rhetoric. I think Obama will probably be re-elected but by a much smaller margin than in 2008.
That being said, we should remember that the election is still 11 months away. And there are two things I have learned from American politics: (1) anything can happen in that amount of time and (2) do not underestimate the collective stupidity of the American electorate.