Note: this article was originally posted on Bilerico.
So Dan Savage was glitterbombed yesterday for the third time by LGBT activists. I can’t tell you how much this dismays me.
It’s true that Dan Savage has made offensive remarks in the past. I’m not denying, explaining, justifying, or defending that, because a.) it’s not my place to speak for him, and b.) Dan has already addressed them himself. I’m also not in any way trying to minimize or downplay what I have no doubt is the very real, acute pain that anti-trans bigotry causes, or the way anti-trans language, regardless of intent, reinforces that bigotry. Look: as a gay man, not to mention a married one, I am keenly aware of the sting of bigotry. I feel it every day, both through my own life experiences and those that many of you share with me and the rest of us here at Truth Wins Out. As much as anti-gay bigotry hurts, though — as heavily as it weighs on my heart, and as much as I abhor the construction of a hierarchy of oppression — I recognize the privilege that I possess as a white, cisgender gay man. I simply cannot fathom the magnitude of the journey my trans kinfolk are on, nor do I possess a vocabulary sufficient to convey my admiration for the courage it takes each and every one of my trans friends to be true to hirself and to own, embrace, and love that truth.
But Savage’s glitterbombing still disturbs me profoundly. The reason? Dan Savage is not the enemy. As Bil Browning, another veteran LGBT activist, points out, trans people are not alone in their journey. All of us cisgendered individuals — even those of us in the LGBT movement — are on a journey too, into an ever-greater understanding of the perspectives and experiences that our trans siblings bring to the table and the unique issues, circumstances, and difficulties they face. Our movement is most effective when we fight forcefully for our human rights and dignities against those who oppress us while at the same time dispelling misconceptions by telling the stories of our lives, educating people about our orientations/identities/expressions and the injustices we face because of them, and awakening in all of us the realization of our common humanity and the fundamental rights and protections to which that humanity entitles us.
Even the most outspoken and well-intentioned of us have warts. But Dan Savage is not a trans enemy. Warts and all, his heart is in the right place and he is an ally in the struggle for equality on behalf of our entire community — lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. What’s more, Savage is one of the most visible members of our community. He has a high profile that almost none of the rest of us have, and that enables him to be an especially forceful advocate for the LGBT movement. Absolutely nothing is gained by attacking him; if anything, those who engage in these repeated attacks run the serious risk of silencing one of our most powerful assets.
All of us, including the so-called “trans mafia,” should take care to remember who our real enemies are. It shouldn’t be too hard; there are plenty of them. Instead of directing our frustration and anger inwards at obviously supportive and well-meaning community members who have a less-than-immaculate record on every single LGBT issue, we need to direct it outwards and upwards towards the Tony Perkinses, Rick Santorums, Keith Ablows, and Laura Ingrahams of the world. Instead of vilifying people for what they don’t fully understand, we need to meet them where they are and bring them further.
Circular firing squads cut all of us down, and guess what? After the last shot is fired, our enemies are still standing.
Let’s be better than that. Our rights and our lives depend on it.
Postscript: I’d like to encourage readers of this article to head over to Bilerico and read this brilliant piece written by Austen Crowder, titled “The ‘Trans Mafia’ Stifles Allies.”
I won’t say that glitter bombing is the best way to address it, but yes, Dan Savage is a transphobe. It’s a lot more than just whether or not he says the word “tranny.” He has on multiple occasions promoted the work of notorious transphobe Alice Dreger, and when someone wrote a comment on his site trying to explain how Dreger has harmed transpeople, Dan’s response was to link to an article Dreger wrote claiming that any trans person who criticizes her and the school of thought she represents is a crazy liar. If Dan truly wants to be seen as an ally to trans people, he needs to stop talking about us and start listening to us. Is he as bad as Tony Perkins or Keith Ablow? No. Is he causing harm? Yes.
Trans activists glitterbombing a gay man reminds me of lesbians rejecting gay men in the early days of gay liberation, in the 1970s, when the word gay was being used by most LGBT activists to be inclusive of both men and women, gay, bi or trans. Many lesbians refused to use the term because they accused all gay men of being misogynists. Yes, some gay men were women haters, but there is still a need for an inclusive word, which is why a later generation has tried and failed to promote the word “queer” as being all inclusive.
We do not get to dictate to anyone who they should consider “supportive”.
@Rainbowphoenix
To dictate is a rule or command that must be obeyed.
You have this piece confused with the fact it is an opinion piece, not a command.
In my “opinion” I find John Becker’s opinion here square on the mark.
No command “must” be obeyed. But one has been issued here. One none of us have any right to make.
I’m a trans woman mixed on the issue. Yes, even Mr. Savage admits that he has evolved on trans issues. Many people have. It’s been necessary as both the cis-LGB movement and the general population have learned, slowly, about what being trans actually is and the many struggles of trans life. Many of those struggles, I argue, do have some overlap with cis-LGBs. Not always though.
And yes, I thought maybe the first glitter-bombing was appropriate. It highlighted that here was a man who was being considered the end-all be-all of LGBT advocacy and f*****g up one of the letters pretty hardcore. I have the same issue with, say, Chaz Bono’s misogyny, yet he also continues to be the new transgender spokesman. But I digress.
After that, though, it got ridiculous. I believe Dan Savage when he says he has requested an audience with trans activists to hammer out the difficulties, and I also believe him when he says that he has had no takers.
It’s unfortunately easier for us to shout and get angry and run away than to sit down and have a dialogue. That’s the core problem, in my opinion.
That all said, I’ve always loved Savage’s other works. I submitted one of the very first trans and bi It Gets Better Videos (under the name “Sera T”) and I continue to encourage the Googling of “Santorum.” I can still respect a man for his virtues while wishing more could be done in other areas. I can say the same about any person if the good is sufficient. After all, no one is perfect.
He’s not just a transphobe, he’s a biphobe and sometimes a lesbophobe.
He’s basically good for gay men. Certain kinds of gay men.
He’s an entertainer. Yeah yeah yeah “he’s done all this good for gays and it gets better and he speaks out blah blah” – i GET it. But above all that he’s an entertainer, one that makes his living largely by writing obnoxious screeds that appear in ultra-liberal newspapers (including one here in PHilly). As such, I don’t take him that seriously.
Congrats to him for speaking out for gays (at least, gay males). But there are also people way less famous who do way more that have earned much more of my respect. Oh noes, Dan Savage got glitter on his person. What ever will we do.
FYI, it also chaps my a*s that people think he’s the end-all-be-all for LGBT activism. He’s not even the spokesperson for the white male gay community, and shouldn’t be considered as such.
Actually Thomas, I think our generation has been extremely successful in promoting the word queer. It’s used really frequently among my cohorts.
How are we also now considering Dan to be a “biphobe” and a “lesbophobe?”
I feel that some people are really confusing the two separate concepts of “shoots his mouth off sometimes/a lot” and “is my enemy.”
Don’t know the history of his comments about lesbians, but the things Savage has said in the past about bi and trans people goes way beyond “shooting his mouth off”.
When one lesbian wrote in about her discomfort with her girlfriend wanting to try a three-way with a man, Savage’s advice was to “find a real lesbian” to be her girlfriend. As in, the girl is just a straight girl screwing around with her.
And I wouldn’t have as big a problem with him “shooting his mouth off” if so much of the world didn’t consider him to also be the mouthpiece for all gays.
I say he should stick to the “Queer Abby” schtick and that’s all.
“I feel that some people are really confusing the two separate concepts of “shoots his mouth off sometimes/a lot” and “is my enemy.””
If a person’s response to someone who is trying to educate him on the harm caused by someone whose work he is promoting is to shout them down and declare them a liar, that tends to lean more toward the enemy side of the spectrum than the mouth shooting off side.
Boo, here’s my thing: he seems to be trying to make amends and has actually gone to great lengths to talk about his growth in understanding of these issues.
I do agree with him when he says that if he’s an enemy, then the battle for trans rights/acceptance is lost.
Dan Savage is Biphobic
http://www.afterelton.com/oysters-04-28-2011-dan-savage-biphobic
That just sounds like Newt level narcissism to me.
@Evan Hurst – other than his article after the first glitter bomb, what amends and great lengths has Dan gone to? Seriously, all I’ve read from him about this is an oddly contradictory “I stand by what I said” and “I’ve evolved” with no explanation of how he evolved or what he is standing by.
It is totally possible to not be an enemy of a group and still perpetuate harm to that group. That is squarely where I place Dan Savage.
I’m grateful for all Dan Savage has done for queer folks and I often enjoy his column. I consider him a person I would like to have over for dinner and wish him well on his life journey.
As I bi male, I don’t find Savages comments offensive in the least. Well, offensive maybe but also very funny. I don’t think he’s “phobic” about bisexual people. More to the point, when did the queer community lose their sense of humor? Geesh. It’s schtick, people!
Even more important, he stands in opposition to our real enemies which are the wing nut religious crazies trying to instill their own Christian Taliban in this country. Let’s focus our aggression where it belongs and embrace fellow travelers, even when we don’t agree on everything.
First of all Oso, there are a lot of bi people who disagree with you. Second, you didn’t even mention the trasphobia. Third, we should not be treating a comedian as the second coming of Harvey Milk.
@ Rainbow Phoenix
That sounds like a command to me. Don’t tell people who or who they cannot support. Personally I love Dan Savage-the best in the business.
So you agree with the bi and transphobia Malcolm?
Don’t see any. I find it strange that you comment on Dan Savage as if he “has” to be a spokesperson-maybe you should join FRC or NOM or Scott Lively’s enterprises, you’d find many things in common I’m sure? No. I really don’t see bisexual ppl as being persecuted in any way shape or form, they can get married whenever they want in this culture right? Talk about narcissism
And yet you’re the one that just threw out one of the bigots’ favorite platitudes.
“Boo, here’s my thing: he seems to be trying to make amends and has actually gone to great lengths to talk about his growth in understanding of these issues.”
And yet he’s still promoting Dreger as recently as this November. Last June Dreger had an article in The Stranger where she compared trans kids to a boy pretending to be a fire engine, and then conjured this giant imaginary conspiracy to force sex changes on tomboys.
“I do agree with him when he says that if he’s an enemy, then the battle for trans rights/acceptance is lost.”
Wow, that’s just a bit arrogant. Since when did Dan Savage become the standard for Being Able To Understand Minorities? Someone who thinks of themselves as an ally can still act like an enemy, especially if they’re more interested in talking to and about the group they think they’re an ally to than in, once again, listening to them. In fact Dreger is a prime example of this.
What, specifically, has he done to make amends other than say he will? And when will his process of making amends extend to quitting cozying up to other transphobes?
Malcom said “No. I really don’t see bisexual ppl as being persecuted in any way shape or form, they can get married whenever they want in this culture right?”.
Wrong. If a bi person wants to marry a same sex partner they can’t in most places in the state. To suggest that this isn’t a problem because they can marry an opposite sex partner instead is profoundly bigoted and stupid. I for one don’t believe you are stupid enough to believe what you just said, you are a bigot, that’s all there is to it.
“I really don’t see bisexual ppl as being persecuted in any way shape or form, they can get married whenever they want in this culture right?”
Kind of like how gay men have the same right to marry a woman that straight men have?
Agreed. It wouldn’t matter if people didn’t do this.
Emily, I really don’t think your example of Dan’s “lesbophobia” is at all “lesbophobic”. I’ve listened to him a long, long time and have always found him pretty “lesbophilic”.
Boo, I know you and other trans people really get outraged over Dan Savage–but I think you’re shooting yourself in the foot by protesting him. The complaints against him seem really unfocused and I think you’d be better off trying to form a dialogue with him rather than throwing glitter and bottles at his head. Also, the vast majority of the people who hear these “protests” don’t know what the examples of Dan’s transphobia are (they also seem to be really, really old). I would also avoid using the term “cisgendered” because most people don’t know what it means and think it just sounds like academic crap.
Trans activists are malevolent. Many are prone to violence and threats of violence. The greatest mistake the gay movement ever made was tying itself to this small gaggle of deranged, rage-filled, largely non-gay trans activists.
This was an act of violence on Dan Savage, make no mistake about it. It may not have been violence of the degree or seriousness as an assault causing serious injury, but it was violence nonetheless. Could you imagine if NOM or AFTAH developed a group of youths who attended gay events for the purpose of dumping foreign substances on gay speakers as punishment for their political views? No one would have any doubt that that was an act of anti-gay violence and intimidation. That is what is happening to Dan Savage. Frankly, I couldn’t care less whether he is a “transphobe” or whether his views are terrible, sort of bad, sort of good, or terrific. It doesn’t matter and we shouldn’t make this about whether his political opinions do or do not merit his being covered in glitter against his will.
Dan should insist that these thugs be arrested and prosecuted. If no police are around the next time this happens, he and others present should use reasonable force to prevent the attack and to detain the attackers until the police arrive. Prison time is the proper response to this, not weepy pleas from Bilerico.
Johann, you are just as much of a bigot as the ones at NOM and FRC. You even tell the exact same lies. Shame on you.
Becky- I know you’re trying to be part of the solution, but you’re not. Look at what you just wrote, and what I wrote. Trans people are first and foremost people, not just some conglomeration of “activists.” I already said I thought glitter bombing wasn’t an effective tactic, and I laid out specific areas of Dan’s transphobia he refuses to address. I also haven’t used the term “cisgendered.” But to you I’m just another part of “those people” doing things you don’t like, despite the fact that I haven’t.
Oh, that wasn’t your intention? Well it’s sure how you came across. This is the same kind of thing that I believe lies at the root of the problem we have with Savage. He, and you, have this image of “the transgender activists” that you’re so convinced is right that it blinds you to actual reality.
And you’re complaining about having to learn a new word? Boohoo. Google it. And then don’t ever complain when some right winger starts making fun of the term “homophobia.”
Becky said “I would also avoid using the term “cisgendered” because most people don’t know what it means and think it just sounds like academic crap.”.
I agree. People use this to try and sound important and I have no use for blowhards.
Johan said “Trans activists are malevolent. Many are prone to violence and threats of violence.”.
Do you have any studies to back that up, or are you just expressing your own bigotry?
What exactly is wrong with you cis or cisgendered? Should we refer to non-transgender people as normal like we used to do with straight people?
Johann- thank you for demonstrating our point.
Boo, I don’t think I’m part of the problem–I think rigidy is the problem. And I won’t back down from this.
Rainbow–How do you know whether I’m cis or cisgendered? I think it’s a term that only gender study academics know or use. When you’re doin a protest it doesn’t help to use words that people have to go online to find–it’s not even in the dictionary I have on my desk. Thank you Priya.
Becky, you won’t back down from accusing me of saying things I never said? In fact you’ll double down since I also didn’t say you were part of the problem? But you sure do seem intent on becoming so. All right fine, congratulations. People like you who are so intent on talking they never listen are exactly what the problem is. Do you feel proud now?
The word cisgendered sounds like sissy gendered. It’s a weird word with a weird sound and doesn’t make a phonetical lick of sense, even the definitions are confusing and wacked. Best ditch it, it’s a red herring word if there ever was one.
It makes perfect phonetic sense and has a very clear definition; a person who’s gender identity matches that person’s biological sex. There was a time when heterosexual was only known to “gender study accademics”. The prefix “cis” simply means “within” just as the prefix “trans” means “beyond”.
No Rainboy, it doesn’t. If you expect people listening to activists shouting at someone to sit there are sound out a word tracing it to it’s latin roots then sound just a self important as has been previously stated.
And Boo, I won’t back down by saying that you seem more intersted in punishing gay white men than you do in exposing actual transphobia. And I, who am often mistaken for a man or a boy will double down right back on your a*s.
Rainbow–typo on the “rainboy”, sorry about that.
Then what do you suggest we call ourselves Becky? How do we level the playing field between trans and cis/non-trans/whatever the hell you want to use like we did between straight and gay?
I call myself a lesbian, a dyke, a woman, a gay gal, whatever I feel like at the time.. I will not call myself cisgendered.
Boo, I wonder, what would Dan Savage have to do for these activists to stop glitter bombing him? Not even forgive him but just stop glitter bombing? To be honest some of the most educational things I’ve heard about transexuals have been on Dan’s podcast from people like Buck Angel.
That wasn’t my question Becky. How do we define our gender identity in a way that doesn’t implicitely place ourselves above transpeople?
“And Boo, I won’t back down by saying that you seem more intersted in punishing gay white men than you do in exposing actual transphobia. And I, who am often mistaken for a man or a boy will double down right back on your a*s.”
That’s fine, just please stop lying about me. I’d appreciate it.
“Boo, I wonder, what would Dan Savage have to do for these activists to stop glitter bombing him? Not even forgive him but just stop glitter bombing? To be honest some of the most educational things I’ve heard about transexuals have been on Dan’s podcast from people like Buck Angel.”
I suggest you ask those activists. How many times do I have to say I don’t think it’s a good tactic before you and Becky accept that all trans people are not some sort of Borg collective? 2 more? 5 more? Just let me know.
Boo, I’m sorry if I offended you. I don’t happen to keep track of every comment you make on this site. I don’t think you’re all “borg” and I don’t think Becky or I ever implied that. I understand that you’re sensitive but you did call Becky “part of the problem” and you seem to be defending the continuing attacks on Dan Savage.
Personally, I try to avoid any kind of politics among trans people because, quite frankly, I find it confusing. When I first came out one of my mentors was a transexual activist here in LA–Connie Norman who called herself a “trannie” and would speak out for the rights of “trannie kids”–then, after she died, I found out that term was offensive.
I also used to know several mtf transexuals who referred to themselves as female and were completely non-political.
I always fear referring to someone by the wrong term–if someone is “intersex” and you refer to them as transexual you are called a bigot. It’s a minefield and I find that even when you try to support trans people you’re risking having someone call you names. And they aren’t interested in explaining it they just think that everyone should know. I understand you get tired of educating people but that’s how change is made.