Funerals are supposed to be a time of fellowship and celebration, where people gather together to mourn the loss and/or celebrate the life of a loved one. They’re a time for the community to give comfort, consolation, and hope to each other and to the family of the deceased, especially to the immediate family, where the loss is often most sorely felt.
Unfortunately, for some in the Catholic Church, that doesn’t apply to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people who refuse to submit to celibacy as Catholic teaching (ridiculously, insultingly, delusionally, hypocritically, etc.) demands.
Check this out, via David Badash at The New Civil Rights Movement:
A lesbian who was attending her mother’s funeral was denied communion by the attending priest because she is a lesbian, according to reports out of Maryland, the state that just passed a marriage equality bill into law. The priest reportedly denied the woman communion, then exited in the middle of the funeral, and claimed he was too ill to go to the cemetery to deliver the final blessings.
“I cannot give you communion because you live with a woman and that is a sin according to the church,” the priest, Father Marcel Guarnizo, a Vicar at Saint John Neumann Catholic Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland, reportedly said to the woman, identified only as “Barbara…”
Then, according to the original post authored by Ann Werner, a friend of Barbara’s:
To add insult to injury, Fr. Guarnizo left the altar when she delivered her eulogy to her mother. When the funeral was finished he informed the funeral director that he could not go to the gravesite to deliver the final blessing because he was sick.
Because burying one’s mother isn’t difficult enough. . .
As I’ve pointed out before, communion — known as the Eucharist to Catholics — is sacred to LGBT and non-LGBT Catholics alike, who believe it to be the body of Christ. To use it as a weapon of punishment against LGBT people who have the courage to live and love openly and true to themselves is nothing short of reprehensible. And to do so to the daughter of a deceased woman at her mother’s funeral?!? Words simply cannot convey the depth of my disgust.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t remember Jesus ever turning anyone away. I guess “Father” Marcel Guarnizo must just think he knows better than the teacher he purports to serve.
WHY is Anybody STILL CATHOLIC? But GLBT people especially? ? ? Boggles the mind.
Agree, Gene. To be rejected by this organization is a medal of honor.
However, how nasty can one human being be to another to make a scene at her Mother’s funeral? That priest’s behavior is simply evil. My mind is boggled.
Fornication, birth control, divorce, and adultery are ‘sins’ too, how often have any of them been singled out for ‘special hate’?; which is what we get instead of ‘special rights’.
Appallingly cruel. Please let this malignant man know exactly how you feel…. mguarnizo@saintjohnneumann.org
The Christian love of the catholic church shows itself again…
so when priest’s sexually assault childern communion is ok then? wow….another Catholic Church double standard.
Why would anyone seek the approval of an international criminal cartel devoted to child rape? Religion is bad enough, but if you MUST be religious, why not choose a good one? Associating with perverts and bigots is not your only choice. Or, you know, you could just not be religious at all.
“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.” — Obi-Wan Kenobi
I just emailed this shameful member of the clergy and voiced how ignorant and hateful his actions were. I hope everyone will. Time to start a petition on change.org!!!
I am from Maryland, Rockville; just up the road from GBurg. I would be shocked to read this except for the fact that the “church” has been appallingly cruel for a long, long time. This priest, in all his holy sanctimony, will pay karmic justice at the end of the day.
Lisa, I wished I believed in Karma. No evidence though, just anecdotal.
Anyway, I cannot fathom how any self-respecting woman or gay man can stay associated in any way with this patriarchal, misogynitic roman church run (largely) by a cabal of closeted homosexual “men” (I use the term advisedly). This behavior isn’t an aberration”: it comes from the top. 30+ years of Karol Wojtyla and Joseph Alois Ratzinger and their methodical removal of any bishop with a faint taint of Vatican II, has led us to the re-embracing of 19th century dogmatic catholicism by a significant portion of the male religious in America. It will not end until people in the pews walk out. Period. When the funds dry up, when the folks flee, they will change. Not a minute before.
Paul and justme, I understand your general objection to affiliation with the Vatican, but in this particular case, what are you suggesting the daughter should have done?
Are you suggesting that the woman should have dishonored her mother’s wishes and held a non-Catholic service?
Heavens no Michael! She had no idea she was going to be shunned by that prick of a priest. What I am suggesting is that women and gay men leave the roman catholic church immediately. Stop supporting it. Stop attending. Stop thinking its alright to dabble in it. Women and LGBT people need to learn from this incident and the multitudinous other misogynistic behaviors of the roman church just over these past 10 years, that this political organization is TOXIC.
On another note I emailed (thanks to Paul above) members of the staff of St. John Neumann Church. I didn’t bother wasting my time with Guarnizo or the head priest (they are probably closet cases anyway), but I did write respectful notes to two women directing parish education and religious formation and a female director of music, respectfully explaining the situation, giving them the website to read for themselves, and appealing to them to speak up in their parish in opposition to politicizing communion. Women are most likely to “get” the offense here if anyone does, and I want to destroy Guarnizo’s credibility with his own parishioners and coworkers. There are a whole list on St. John Neumann’s website of people other than Guarnizo whom you can contact. I would keep it respectful, but I would definitely do it. Wouldn’t waste my time on Guarnizo though. He’s a lost cause.
I have to disagree with that. I think it’s important for LGBT people to stay within their churches so that they have a chance to change them from the inside. If they all leave, it will create segregation, and that doesn’t solve anything. These bigots are spreading lies about gay people that get more bizarre every day because they clearly don’t know anything about us. We need to show them what we’re really like, that we’re decent people, otherwise they get the chance to damn us for what we’re not, when they should instead pass judgement (’cause they have to judge everybody, apparently..) based on what we actually are. Besides, why should we go away just because they want us to?
Bonnie, that’s been tried for years now, and it isn’t working. It’s time to vote with your feet and your wallet, and leave the Raping Children Cult.
Bonnie, trust me it’s been tried – and in *some* congregations that approach has actually worked. But there are plenty of churches with congregations that will plaster phony smiles on while you’re around, and then ruthlessly bash you silly when you’re not around to defend yourself – and in some cases, they’ll even blast hate from the pulpit WITH YOU IN THE CONGREGATION and they *know* you’re there!
Happened to me in 2003. I had thought that if I lived openly as a Christian who happened to be Gay that could open up ‘dialog’ – but it didn’t. I ended up leaving when parents started pulling their children away when I came into a room, and I was the *only* one who didn’t know why. That sort of BS is *almost* as bad as enduring ‘ex-gay’ therapy, at least to me.
Bonnie, I think that your plan could be effectual in a religious organization that isn’t deeply patriarchal and misogynist at its core, but other than a few mainline protestant groups, the Quakers and the Unitarians, I don’t see your plan as being one bit efficacious. The roman church has stepped backwards these past 30 years through a deliberate effort through its hierarchy. You’ll have no more luck (outside perhaps at a local parish level) of moving that behemoth off its course than you would trying to move a large aircraft carrier by paddling with your feet. Same for the mormons and the southern baptists, etc., etc..
For those of you who have emailed church staff members and/or “Father” Guarnizo, I’d be very interested to hear what replies, if any, you receive.
I’m not religious but I wanted to delivery a eulogy to my my mother at the end of Mass.
The priest agreed without much argument. I thought it would be an issue – he was known to have refused other (straight) as a pay person speaking at Mass is not Canonical law.
Turns out my mother had approached the priest before she died and told him in no uncertain terms that I was to be allowed to speak at her funeral. (Fierce mother pride).
That day, I channelled my own mother’s voice before a congregation where everyone knew I was gay.
The parish priest handed over duties to a curate in a cowardly obfuscation of what mattered.
To say I dislike priests on the whole is an understatement.
Oops
‘Lay person’, not ‘pay person’
This is outrageous, In claiming to be upholding the Catechism, Fr Guarnizo is displaying woeful ignorance ot it, on at least three counts. (See http://queeringthechurch.com/2012/02/28/in-denying-communion-at-mothers-funeral-priest-contravened-the-catechism/ for an explanation)
If acting contrary to the Catechism is necessarily sinful, then by his own standards he is himself in sin. That is why he needs to apologize. The theory of confession states that not only must we repent and confess our sins – but also that for absolution, we must make reparation to those we have injured. The hurt in this case cannot be undone – the least that will suffice is a public apology.
Btw, some people elsewhere said that priests have the right to refuse communion to everyone. That’s not entirely true. A priest can’t know all sins of everyone, so when someone walks up and requests communion it usually customary to grant it.
As said, reforming a church from the inside may work if a church government is set up to allow participation and democracy. The Catholic church (and other authoritarian and patriarchal Protestant systems) are deliberately designed to prevent that. It’s especially futile when you consider that in the past 30 years every bishop and cardinal who isn’t an arch conservative has been systematically silenced
What a horrible thing for a so-called “man of God” to do. Does he think that the Almighty somehow needs to be PROTECTED from “certain” people?
Jesus would not have thought so.
This man is the embodiment of the Pharisees mentioned in the Bible; adherence to “the law” and the resulting sense of self-righteousness has hardened his heart and robbed him of the smallest sense of compassion. He is not fit for his position.
Here is an interesting video of “Blue Army/Opus Dei” Guarnizo in all of his glory. Santorum in robes. I couldn’t watch very much. He starts lying right off the bat…. .
http://vimeo.com/29653222
Another reason why I refuse to go to mass anymore.
[...] John Becker wrote yesterday about the Rev. Marcel Guarnizo, the Maryland priest who denied Communion and disrupted a parish [...]
well, lets review the action.
1. Catholic church. This organization is/has a stringent policy against homosexuality. It is well known. There is no day off from this attitude even at a funeral. what is this lesbian lady thinking? Maybe, because my mom is dead i will get a pass for my lifestyle at her funeral at a Caholic Church?
2. Communion? pardon me? Communion is NOT “given” to everyone: just practicing Catholics. C’mon even Baptists, Lutherns and the like would not recieve communion either.
3. Eulogy why 2? any other control you want to take away. Female pall bearer? kinda odd.
so before we go and burn down churches lets try to look at from the side.
would it have been so terrible to just attend the service at a place that you hold in contempt or at minimun can’t honor/respect the religious dogma this organization holds dear. Obviously, she never met this priest before, but her mom knew him. If she would have met him she probaby would have found out that he is textbook/old school Catholic priest and has doesn’t approve of “alternate lifestyles.” Really how many Catholic priest would serve communion to a lesbian that brought her significant other? C’mon… if you wanna be gay …be gay, but act like religious dogma doesn’t rule at the function.
appears to me the daughter just upset the priest as much as he upset her. Who is wrong? the daughter is. she knew and knows that her family religion is not compatiable with her lifestyle. Instead of quite reflection in a house of God she decieded to make a change and it did not work well for her.
Excuse my language Greg but what the hell is a lesbian lifestyle? Also, the priest wasn’t willing to be kind to a woman at HER MOTHER’S FUNERAL? I fail to understand the moral legitimacy of the RCC.
Greg: Your spelling and syntax is pretty poor.
The fact is buddy, many parishes within the roman tradition in urban areas of North America do not openly discriminate against gay and lesbian people at communion or otherwise. We have no idea if this particular woman knew the priest officiating at her mom’s funeral was a homophobic (and likely self-loathing closeted homosexual) prick. This a*****e decided to publicly humiliate this woman in a time of deep personal loss, which doesn’t strike me as being a good representative of Jesus, though it is a marvelously accurate representation of the hypocrisy of men like Karol Wojtyla and Joseph Alois Ratzinger (and a host of other self-loathing homosexual bigots like Dolan, Levada, etc., etc.). When a church like the romanist one decides to get into the political arena and legislate against reproductive rights for women and civil marriage rights for gays and lesbians who are nonmembers of their cult, then we have not only the right but the duty to oppose them in any way possible. And pointing out the self-promotion and the hypocrisy of how this roman clergy acts is in my humble opinion, the best way to do that.
John @ 18
I haven’t heard from staff members from St John Neumann’s yet. Methinks this is a hotbed of Blue Army fellow-travelers.
[...] Church in its crusade against loving LGBT relationships. On Monday the nation learned about Barbara Johnson, a lesbian woman who was denied communion at her mother’s funeral in Maryland because she [...]
[...] lesbian who gave her deceased mother a Catholic funeral according to her final wishes, only to be denied communion by the priest. Fr. Marcel Guarnizo also refused to deliver the final blessing at the [...]
[...] and Catholic-affiliated institutions — with LGBT people in committed relationships being denied communion, gay Catholic school teachers being fired for daring to marry, prominent theologians being [...]
That lesbian should have known better than to have walked in to that church. She should have known that a Real lesbian would not have stepped in the church in the first place no matter what the occasion. She might as well be a republican for not obeying the gay guidelines at all times. She did that to herself. Next time don’t use a church for a funeral. It’s not the 1500′s anymore, you don’t have to use a church or a priest for anything anymore.
[...] TWO, the American Catholic bishops have made the preservation of marriage discrimination and the spiritual bullying of LGBT people and their allies a top priority. Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than [...]