The poor dears. A group of Confederate Something-Or-Others [it's always hard to tell... are they re-enactors? Just resentful and upset?] went on a field trip to the museum the other day. Not just any museum, though! They got to go to the Museum of the Confederacy in Appomattox, and everybody was excited and having a good time until this happened:
Oh god, it is not only a black, but it is a black who is also a drag queen! Expressing the inherent outrage contained in the fact that an exhibit at the museum featured RuPaul, the writer of the linked blog post titled that picture, “queer.” Well, I suppose you’re right, sir, but I’m confused as to why it makes you feel like a bigger man to point that out. It’s 2012. Anyway, here was the group’s reaction:
Yes, that is RuPaul…in all his/her glory, mocking our colors, and on display inside YOUR Museum of the Confederacy.
Not MY museum. I’m a Southerner, born and raised, but I also have self-esteem. Therefore, not my museum.
Yesterday, Va Flaggers visited the Museum of the Confederacy at Appomattox, and were outraged to discover a highly offensive display featuring a life-sized photo of cross-dresser Ru Paul, wearing a dress with an image of the Confederate Battle Flag. The photo that was secured and sent to other Flaggers was quickly disseminated…
The rest of us “take pictures,” but the Va Flaggers “secure them.” Wolverines!!!!11!!
Anyway, complain, complain, complain, and then the exhibit was removed, which probably is for the best, as General JC Christian* explains:
[W]e get so angry when our flag is displayed in such a way as to wickedly trick us into achieving a state of inappropriate tumescence…
Absolutely shameful. Imagine their embarrassment as they found themselves desperately scrambling to hide their little Parrott rifles. Scores of turgid man cannons swinging wildly every which way, striking buttocks and, yes, even each other, as they vainly attempted to retreat from the sight of our glorious standard draped so erotically over large perky breasts, fleshy hips, and God help us, a hidden package of the most unheartlandish of hues.
And that is why everyone should be reading General JC Christian on a regular basis.
Anyway, this post is just an excuse to remind everyone out there of the sage wisdom RuPaul gives at the end of every episode of Drag Race: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Truth.
*Why would I know about this story if I wasn’t reading Jesus’ General?