Unless you happen to be married to a citizen of a foreign country, re-entering the United States after a trip abroad, adopting a child, or dealing with the death of a spouse (and if you are, my condolences), if you’re one half of a legally married same-sex couple, there’s a very good chance that this time of year — tax time — is the time you and your spouse most acutely feel the sting of marriage discrimination.
If you live in a non-marriage equality state, you know how degrading it is to have to check the box next to the word “Single” on your federal and state tax forms.
If you happen to live in one of the six states where marriage equality is the law of the land — or any of the five non-equality states that allow same-sex couples to file jointly — you’re at least spared the indignity of your state government pretending that you and your soulmate are legal strangers. But due to the discriminatory “Defense of Marriage Act” (DOMA), the federal government is forbidden from recognizing the marriages of same-sex couples. For the moment, at least, your legal marriage does not exist in the eyes of the United States of America. And while state-level marriage equality or relationship recognition is unequivocally a good thing, same-sex couples know that the dissonance between state recognition and federal non-recognition can create some pretty major headaches during tax season.
I’m not going to spend any time going into detail about the tax-specific ways that DOMA penalizes same-sex couples — many others have already very capably done so. (Check out these two informative articles from the New York Times, for example.) But I am going to take a minute to share a brief personal story about the impact DOMA has had on my husband Michael and me this past year.
In 2011, Michael and I moved from our home state of Wisconsin (a non-marriage equality state) to our new home in Vermont (a marriage equality state). Let me tell you, the difference between the two is like night and day. I don’t think I can overstate how much it means to us both to live in a place that values the loving marriages of all couples — gay and straight – or our gratitude to all those Vermonters who worked so hard to make marriage equality possible.
But living in a marriage equality state for the first time did make filing our taxes a little more eventful. Vermont, like most states, uses the figures from a couple’s federal return to compute their state return. Since our legal marriage means we file jointly with the State of Vermont but DOMA forces us to file separately and singly with the United States, Michael and I — well, our amazing tax preparer — were forced to complete four tax returns: one individual federal return each (which each of us ultimately files), a “dummy” joint federal return (to combine our incomes, adjustments, credits, etc. in order to obtain the necessary numbers for our state return), and our joint state tax return (which we file with the State of Vermont). While the extra step of preparing that “dummy” federal return is a big-time hassle, it also provided us, for the first time, the opportunity to see exactly how much more we paid in taxes because the federal government forces us to file singly, rather than jointly as our straight counterparts are able to do. The difference between those two numbers is what I and others refer to as the “Gay Tax.”
For my husband and me, that difference in 2011 amounted to $1566. To some of you that might not seem like much, but trust me: to a young professional couple, one of whom works in the nonprofit sector, $1566 is a good chunk of cash. That $1566 could have gone towards the purchase of a car that’s newer and more reliable than the one we currently own, which was built when this 27-year-old was in the fifth grade. It could have helped pay down our student loans or some of the credit card debt that he and I incurred in order to pay our bills during the fifteen months when neither of us could find full-time employment. Hell, it could have paid for our groceries for nearly nine months! But no — instead, we’re forced to pay it to the IRS because our legal spouse happens to be of the same gender. We’re paying a $1566 “Gay Tax.”
Thanks, DOMA.
If you’ve read this far and are wondering why I bothered to spend any of my time and energy on an issue that’s such old news, consider this: if I had a dollar for every wide-eyed, incredulous, shocked look I’ve received over the last year whenever I bring up the subject of federal tax discrimination, I’d have more than enough money to pay my $1566 “Gay Tax.” I choose to share my story because of the truly astonishing number of well-meaning people — both inside and outside the LGBT community — who have absolutely no clue that same-sex couples incur federal tax penalties even when they live in states that recognize their marriages. I’m speaking out about how the “Defense of Marriage Act” hurts my marriage – my family — because we’ve got to change hearts and minds all across America if we hope to see that awful law repealed. And I’m speaking out because those hearts and minds won’t change unless all of us continue to speak out and share our stories.
If you’re a victim of DOMA, you can speak out right here and now by leaving a comment below. Go ahead, tell your story. How costly was the “Gay Tax” for you and your spouse this year?
Another experience worth exploring in this context is same-sex married couples who will pay more federal taxes once DOMA ends.
Two 30-year-olds with matching higher ($75-150K) incomes will pay more taxes as a couple. But, if their plans include expanding the family via foster care and/or adoption, like any other growing family, the extra taxes may be worthwhile in exchange for future years when the income of one or both drops in order to focus on family.
It’s not hard to imagine that two 60-year-olds with similar, substantial incomes and comparable pensions/retirement plans will also be happy to pay higher taxes in the near term to ensure that jointly-held assets stay with the survivor, no matter who lives longer.
It gets worse for families with children. Tax breaks designed to benefit children are not as easily available to the children of gay headed families. The limits are different for things like the child tax credit, tuition credits, etc. So DOMA not only discriminates against gay people, but also the children of gay people. I don’t know why somebody hasn’t brought a suit against DOMA on behalf of some kids. There are so many other things that in terms of benefits and security that they don’t have compared to the children of straight headed families.
The tax rules also discriminate against single parents such as myself. As a single father of 3, I would every year calculate my taxes as if we were a family of 4 but with a wife and 2 kids instead of myself and 3 kids. Everything else being the same, the difference was always in the thousands of dollars. Money that could have gone to college, clothes, etc for my kids.
I’ve mentioned this before but my husband is now on my health insurance because (thankfully) we have an employer who is enlightened. Nevertheless, because of DOMA, I was taxed on $6500 dollars “income” I never saw a dime of last year, because my husband is not my wife. The FEDS are taxing the benefit of his health care coverage and counting that coverage as my income. Had he been a she, that health care benefit would have counted as NADA in terms of income.
I also want to reiterate John’s point. We go through the same hassles to file our taxes jointly in our state, but we get a WHOLE bunch more money back doing so. Quite amazing how much in fact!
The gay tax alone is horrendous, but where my husband and I feel it most is with our child.
I work for a small startup with virtually no benefits and he works for a large corporation. He is offered tremendous benefits for him and his opposite sex partner (if he had one), but because I have a penis and not a vagina, we are stuck paying nearly $5k more a year annually for sub-par insurance on our son and myself.
Good work, John. For your readers who haven’t read it, I recommend the article I wrote last fall on this topic: http://www.edgeboston.com/news/local///125654/irs_creates_clash_between_doma_and_state_sovereignty
I am currently working on a follow-up article detailing the battle my husband and I have fought for 9 months and are just now resolving after many nightmares and sleepless nights of worry. I am in the process of writing a follow-up story about the Hell and expense we were forced to go through to finally resolve the issue only to discover others in the same predicament will only benefit from our efforts if they go through the same Hell. Otherwise, they simply lose out!
Hugs to you and Michael from Bob and me,
Bill :)
In addition to federal amount we are charged extra, there is also the extra amount that I pay to have my husband on my health insurance. The town has to report their contribution to my family health insurance plan as extra income – which the federal government ALSO taxes me for – because my husband is on my health plan. No children here, so not as large a penalty as Derek is reporting, but still.
Of course, this is a step up from the year before marriage was legal for us, when hubby’s employer refused to allow him to put me on his plan “because there is no state law requiring us to do so.” They DID however, understand how important pets are SO THEY OFFERED US A PLAN FOR OUR CAT.
Same sex spouse = not valuable enough to insure.
Non-tax-paying house pet with no prefrontal cortex = valuable enough to insure.
With my partner of 19 years, wherein I have been the chief “breadwinner,” I have calculated that my inability to file a joint return has cost us about $5000 a year in federal taxes (somewhat less in state taxes). You can do the math – in many parts of the country, this would have bought a house.
Thank you all for sharing your stories with me and with TWO’s readers. I hope you continue speaking out among your families, friends, and social circles. That’s how we’ll ultimately defeat DOMA! :-) xoxo
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[...] this month I wrote a piece about how the “Defense of Marriage Act” unfairly punishes same-sex couples during tax [...]