And they will whine via these handy flyers! Here, schoolchildren, some bitter adults would like to complain in your general direction. If you’re a gay kid, it will feel like being bullied by adults you’ve never met, but don’t worry, that’s how it’s supposed to feel [click to embiggen]:
“Thousands” of people is an uncorroborated number, since most people who go through “ex-gay” programs end up in one of four places: 1. Back out of the closet, living happy lives, 2. Still in the closet, more depressed than they were when they went in, 3. Suicidal or 4. On the payroll of an “ex-gay” corporation like Greg Quinlan. Moreover, there is no proof of any alleged discrimination, unless Greg Quinlan is arguing that straight people are the true victims of discrimination in this society. I mean, “ex-gays” are supposed to be straight now, right? Joe points out that Quinlan has a failed “heterosexual” marriage to prove it! And that last part — what are “ex-gays” denied “equal access” to? Grindr?
If only “one part of you” has gay feelings, and it’s the part of you that has sexual feelings, then yes, you’re probably gay. That being said, the idea of “your whole life” being gay-identified is a straw man argument. No one is defined solely by his or her sexual orientation. But it’s like that old adage about sex in relationships — if your sex life is good, it’s about 10% of your relationship. If it’s not, it’s somewhere between 50% and 90%. Likewise, if you’re healthy and happy in your sexual orientation, it’s just a small piece of your life, albeit an important piece. If you’re running away from your sexual orientation like it’s a demon you have to slay, you may feel that you’re doing well in other areas of your life, but at the end of the day, you’re just a big closet case.
My favorite part of that section, though, is the part they accidentally left out. After “thousands of ex-gay men and women had those very same feelings when they were in school,” the PFOX people forgot to write, “And they still do!”
Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me how, while we’re over here trying to help create a world where all kids feel loved and accepted, Religious Right loons never stop trying to hurt one special subgroup of kids. It’s sick.
I remember being told it “isn’t necessary to label yourself now” in middle and high school when I learned what “bisexual” meant. Kids who say they’re straight are never told that, even if they actually are gay or bisexual.
I have told people that I think of sexual orientation as the lighting in the room of your mind. It is, of course, a small part. However, it affects the way you see everything else, and when it is turned off or broken, you won’t see anything else in it correctly.
The advice PFOX gives is the advice LGBT kids too often get from their peers and the adults in their lives–”Sit down. Shut up. Straighten up. Stop holding her hand. Stop thinking about him. Just *try* to blend in, damn it.” They try, and fail, to sound friendly about it. I also think it’s interesting that they seem to pitch “ex-gay” as another unique sexual orientation–using their logic, wouldn’t that be like calling “ex-blind” a disability after, say, a successful surgery? I’d think that would confuse many teens of all sexual orientations.
Utterly hurtful and ridiculous, but then again, why should PFOX behave any differently toward teens than they do toward anyone else?
And not one tumescence exam.
Everything they have written in this pamphlet, it just reads as so desperate. They’re clutching at straws, and any high school kid with even a moderate level of self-awareness will see through it immediately.
Unfortunately, the pamphlet is not aimed at those kids. It’s aimed at the scared and vulnerable.
Despicable.
“However, there are those in society who refuse to respect an individual’s right to selfdetermination. Consequently, gay men and women are discriminated against simply because they dare to exist. -gays and their supporters are denied equal access and support, forcing them to remain silent for fear of negative reactions and disapproval.”
Fixed it.
The folks at PFOX must not have any mirrors. If they did, they’d have to see themselves doing the things they falsely accuse gays of doing.
Stop attacking Greg Quinlan, Evan Hurst. You know nothing of his marriage, which is a true one man-one woman covenant marriage. If there was a marital problem, that is what sometimes happens in normal man-woman couples. The Bible requires submission from a wife to her husband, and in this modern culture this can lead to problems in a Biblical marriage.
Quinlan has said that he will sue Wayne Besen if Wayne Besen sued him! Evan Hurst, go to Wayne Besen and tell him to show the legal response of Quinlan. Tell Wayne Besen that he cannot hide from the world the lawsuit against him which will destroy TWO for all time.
Explain the Quinlan divorce then Chucky.
Charles B, you forgot to put
(Loud crash of thunder) “Mwah-ha ha ha ha haaa!!!”
at the end of your post.
Charles, you idiot, his marriage is over.
These people are just incredible. “Ex-gay” “ministries” or “therapy” doesn’t work, but they will continue to ruin lives of those that can be coerced into these programs.
And they can’t even leave GLBT kids and allies alone on the Day of Silence. It’s because of bigots like those at PFOX that make life is made miserable for GLBT adults and kids alike.
Stop what your doing right now Evan Hurst! you too, Wayne Besen! The Quinlan “Normal” man woman failed because the pushy ex lesbian Greg Quinlan married would not submit. Charles B, congregant Maranatha True Church, says so…silly Evan Hurst and Wayne Besen.
Well, Charles, while you’re busy pushing man/woman relationships and procreation instead of helping the poor or needy, preventing divorce or actually being inclusive, we here will enjoy PFOX shooting themselves in the foot as they advocate for Ex-Gay rights, which shouldn’t even matter as Ex-Gay should just be Heterosexual, should it not?
If they really, really believe they are ex-gays, they believe they are straight. And if they are really comfortable with their “straight” sexuality, they would feel no need to call themselves “ex-gay.” No one I know of in this society discriminates against straight people. So what are they complaining of?
Obviously they don’t really feel comfortable with their facade of straightness. They haven’t really lost their homosexuality and their discomfort with who they really are. So they play the role of victim and whine when people don’t play into their little game of lies. And instead of working through their self-hatred till they can accept their homosexuality, they try to turn other gay people into images of themselves to make themselves feel better. This is pitiful. And unfortunately it is also destructive to not only themselves, but to their victims as well.
They don’t realize what they’re actually saying here;
“However, there are those in society who refuse to respect an individual’s right to selfdetermination.”
Yes, that would be you guys, who refuse to respect LGBT peoples’ right to self-determination. You push this BS notion that we’re broken, sinful, and that we need to “change”.
As to the claim that there’s any discrimination against “ex-gays”, it’s a crock. The only time “ex-gays” face any problems in society is when they go barging into gay society proselytizing for “ex-gay” programs. Then they cry that they’re being “persecuted” when they’re rightfully told to leave everyone alone.
@emma, OMG you’re right. In marital problems its ALWAYS that the woman didn’t submit to her husband, not, I dunno, that neither of them were attracted to each other or comfortable in their own skin.
“If only “one part of you” has gay feelings, and it’s the part of you that has sexual feelings, then yes, you’re probably gay. That being said, the idea of “your whole life” being gay-identified is a straw man argument. No one is defined solely by his or her sexual orientation.”
They have been the ones who identify gay people’w lives as only by their sexual orientation – or in their minds sexual activity. They’re the ones who have demanded the use of the wording “gay lifestyle” – to use to stigmatize people. Nevermind that our lives like any other person are much more than our sexuality.
Most teens-gay or straight-develope a b******t detector that goes off whenever an adult feeds them a line they know is a lie. Telling LGBT teens they’re just too confused and stupid to know who they are would fall into that category. And no matter how carefully you word the message “There’s something wrong with you, and you should change!”, it will still come across as an open rejection of who they are. And if they’re already being bullied and harrassed for being gay, they don’t need to hear that crap from somebody pretending to care. Finding a “nicer” way to echo the sentiments of bullies doesn’t make you better than them.
We can’t type curse words? I never noticed that before today. :D
Your article is well written, I really like, thanks!
Charles…you ever gonna be an adult and admit that the lawsuit you said could not be filed…WAS? I intend to remind you of that every time I see you post…and thus point out your 1) cluelessness 2) lack of character for admitting you were wrong after being so adament about it.
I think we should ALL remind him of this, every time he posts!
I do so Gene, every time I see crazy Charles here.
Wow! The idiocy gets better all the time. So not giving in to those pesky sexual urges is as easy as not super-sizing the fries? Just because your crotch goes into overdrive thinking about or seeing those attractive guys doesn’t mean you are gay? Sincerely, I never, ever imagined that my sexual needs could be so easily dismissed? Nor have I ever met another guy who could dismiss them easily? Who knew that PFOX has a secret to how this can be done. JUST IGNORE THEM AND DON’T SUPER-SIZE THE FRIES! Their lunacy is unbounded.