The next time I photograph Love Won Out founder and former Exodus chairman John Paulk in a gay bar, he may actually pose for the picture. According to his Facebook page, he is now interested in “men and women.”
For those who do not remember, on Sept. 19, 2000 I photographed Paulk inside Mr. P’s, a Washington, DC gay bar. At the time, he was flirting with a colleague of mine from the Human Rights Campaign. Paulk had just come from a so-called “pro-family” conference and then went to this homosexual watering hole to unwind.
When I photographed him, he tried to take my camera. I fended him off and then he ran away.
Explaining the incident on James Dobson’s radio show, Paulk said that he had walked into “Satan’s Trap,” which I immediately thought was a great name for a leather bar. On the same show, Paulk said that it was his second visit to a gay bar.
The “ex-gay” posterboy who graced the cover of Newsweek, appeared on Oprah and Good Morning America, and a plethora of other shows was slowly eased out of Focus on the Family and Exodus, with his role increasingly diminished, along with his credibility. After all, there is not much of a market for an “ex-gay” who flirts with men in gay saloons after a tough day at anti-gay symposiums.
Looking for a new gig and a fresh start, Paulk moved his “ex-lesbian” wife Anne and their children to Portland, OR. Anne continued with the “ex-gay” con game, but John reinvented himself as a fancy chef and founded Mezzaluna, which specializes in fine catering.The website looks pretty good and his business appears to be going quite well.
He had floated beneath the radar, until recently. In the past year, I have been contacted by a few people who said that Paulk is chummy with the gays in Portland. And the pictures (see below) of the hot guys he employs at his restaurant aren’t helping with speculation about his new life. Unless I missed it, I could find nothing about his family on his Facebook Page.
I don’t think the final chapter has been written on Paulk. But I must say, he looks rather happy surrounded by those strapping lads and with his new gig as Master Chef.
But what would James Dobson say?
“Paulk said that he had walked into ‘Satan’s Trap,’ which I immediately thought was a great name for a leather bar.”
Great one, Wayne, that made my laugh of the day!
Seriously, I feel sorry for some of these guys. For them it’s a terrible waste of life.
He certainly looks happier and I wish him well.
That hair, however……..
May he find wholeness as the gay man (or bisexual man) God created him to be. He is not heterosexual and perpetrating that fraud will only bring him and everyone around him unhappiness and misery.
I remember looking at his site like 4 or so years ago and he had buff, tanned young guys in sleeveless shirts serving hors d’oeuvres. He also had clearly toned up a bit himself, and grown out his hair. It was only a matter of time before he started “coming out” a bit… I mean, on facebook you don’t even need to say who you’re “interested in.” You don’t need to disclose your marital status, or if you do, who your spouse is. I think this is a small way of coming out somewhat. He’s got a huge closet door and it’ll make a loud creak as it opens so he’s gotta do it slowly…
What a change in appearance. Back then he looked like stereotypical white-bread Christian. Today, he LOOKS like a gay guy coming into his own. (And I guess he has been, these past several years.)
And dude, it’s PORTLAND. I mean, he could’ve moved to Tupelo, MS or even Allentown, PA. Instead he moved to a place people fight to “keep weird.”
Well, I’m not bisexual, but my FB page says “interested in men and women”, but it also says I’m looking for friendships as well as a relationship. So I wouldn’t read TOO MUCH into what his Facebook page says.
Question, is John the guy in the middle in the photograph?
With the recent deaths and all, who is left who claims to be ex-gay? I’m no expert but who is left? Oh yeah that Cominskey guy who hates Alan Chambers who is Same Sex Attracted but not gay.
I must have missed where he published his public apology.
His Facebook page does mention his family: https://www.facebook.com/John.Paulk.Mezzaluna.Fine.Catering#!/photo.php?fbid=10150694790372488&set=p.10150694790372488&type=1
Hopefully his failure to acknowledge any of his Focus and Exodus work on his Facebook page means he’s moving on with his life into healthiness and happiness. I’m sure he did some unsavory things in his past. Maybe we need to learn to forgive and just let him live his life.
Uhm, did we miss his “interests” on Facebook? Jeff Lewis’ TV shows “Flipping Out” and “Interior Therapy”, Michael Kors, NPR… Looks pretty gay to me, but then again I don’t want to play into stereotypes… (Walks like a, talks like a…)
“Maybe we need to learn to forgive and just let him live his life.”
Sure, just point me to his public apology.
Well, if that is him in the middle of the photograph, he is looking good. Hopefully he will be able to come all the way out. The sad thing is his wife (or ex, not sure which) still believes in the exgay crap. Glad to hear that John may be finding his way back.
Wayne are you going to California? NARTH is headed to the Capitol on Monday apparently.
http://narth.com/2012/04/urgent-action-needed/
“Senate Bill 1172 introduced by Senator Ted Lieu, will be reviewed at a hearing in Sacramento on Monday and NARTH has sent an official delegation to speak to the bill and lobby legislators.”
Sorry, didn’t know where else to put this comment. I would have e-mailed it to you but I don’t see an e-mail address.
When Paulk said homosexuality was a hell hole at Love Won Out,” there were scared young gay people in the audience. He has hurt so many.
While I hope he’s found happiness–he needs to atone for what he’s done. You can’t do the kind of damage to GLBT people that he’s done and then just move on with your life. He was a public ex-gay–he needs to come forward and say that he was wrong.
Don’t think he’s coming out. One of the commentators on the link Joshua gave above is from a notoriously spiteful anti-gay radio commentator in PDX named Georgene Rice who seems to be pretty buddy-buddy with Paulk. Maybe he has become one of the few ex-gays who have done what the rest of us have suggested for so many years: If you’ve been “changed” then go about being the heterosexual you’ve been “changed” to, move on with your life and stop obsessing about gay sexuality. Leave the rest of us alone.
Maybe he is actually doing that.
Im sorry, I can’t help it but the phrase “Master Chef” being used to describe John Paulk makes me giggle like a five year old school girl…
Is that him in the middle with the blond hair?
That’s a GAY FELLA!!!
(either that or he is looking to start up a Las Vegas Magic show.)
What does it prove if he ________________________________________________
does or becomes anything? I agree those who preach “ex-gay” are likely confused–and I am from the opposite side of the argument.
Most Christians (many don’t) simply hold to monogamous heterosexual marriage as the normative context for sexual intercourse and procreation. It does not define homosexuals, singles, widowed, never-married, eunuchs, or left-handed people as something less–as non-human. It does not demand singles be ex-singles; or that gays become ex-gays.
The pressure (internal or external) to be “ex-gay” is coming from somewhere other than a conservative, Biblical, ethic. I understand this ethic has been used to undergird such a pressure–but the two should not be conflated.
I have spent 25% of my adult life in a marriage–and 75 % single or widowed and chaste.
Funniest thing. My humanity did not increase or decrease. The love of family did not increase or decease. My intimacy with God, friends, and family were altered with children and with a wife and with sexual intimacy. But it was not something more. It was different. I’m sure a different partner would yield still more difference.
I’m not willing to shut the lights off on human society because someone engages in sexual intimacy outside the boundaries I hold to be right and true. And neither am I willing to shut the lights off because social boundaries are not defined the way someone wants. Life does not end because one does not have a spouse or sexual partner.
Just as “ex-gay obsessed” persons have taken on a demand a conservative Biblical ethic does not demand–the “we must see sexual union between any consenting adults in any configuration” crowd has taken on a fight beyond the bounds of what justice and reason demands.
name… I have to admit that your post seemed confusing, circular and rambling to me but John Paulk held himself up as proof that being gay was not natural and was something that could and should be cured. I know you came late to this but do a little research.