I cannot count the number of parents I’ve talked to over the course of my life who have said something to the effect of, “I’d love to have a gay child!” I also cannot count the number of parents I know who have gay children and are completely, 100% supportive of them. With that in mind, here is the wishful and delusional thinking of Peter “Porno Pete” LaBarbera and Rev. Patrick “Gay Men Put iPhones In Their Spinxters” Wooden, explaining why they believe they will ultimately win in the end:

Wooden: Young people grow up and it’s amazing what happens when you become a mom or a dad yourself. It’s amazing what happens when, all of a sudden now you are entrusted with a young life and that kid looks just like you and all of a sudden now it’s your little boy or your little girl. No one wants their son to be a homosexual. No one wants their daughter to be a homosexual.

LaBarbera: The liberals are now saying, they are going around saying how happy they would be if their son came home, or their daughter, and said “I’m gay.” And it’s almost like they are arguing against nature that they are trying to persuade themselves because honestly I don’t think many would be happy, and it’s not something to be happy about to know that your son or daughter is entering an aberrant and immoral lifestyle. And yet, that’s what they keep saying.

Wooden: Well, they’re saying that be we know that’s not true. No one, no one would want their child – even the homosexual father doesn’t want his son to be homosexual; the lesbian mother does not want her daughter to be lesbian.

Uh. Keep telling yourselves that, boys.

I would make fun of them, but it just seems cruel at this point. Their little worldview is just crackling to pieces all around them, and they’re grasping at even the most delusional nonsense in order to preserve their denial of reality. It’s sad.