Chris Hughes is a co-founder and minority owner of Facebook, who, along with his fiance, gave a $100,000 matching donation to the fight to give Mainers marriage equality. Porno Pete is an amateur leather photographer. These are their stories:

Chris Hughes is leading Facebook’s campaign to destroy the family in Maine.

OH SO DRAMATIC, right from the outset! Does Porno Pete really actually believe that when a state gains marriage equality, wingnut families explode? I demand video footage.

At this point, Porno Pete fills a paragraph with absolutely nothing, then tosses the Talking Hanky to his best friend Mike Heath, who used to work for important Religious Right organizations before they told him to get bent. Take it away, Mike!

At about the same time Facebook decided to block the speech of Coach Dave Daubenmire — who exposed the debauchery at Columbus, Ohio’s “gay pride” parade…

If you go to Porno Pete’s Haus of Dreams Unfulfilled, you’ll see a picture of a dude who has his face really close to another dude’s crotch at Columbus Pride, taken by “Coach” Dave Daubenmire, one of the most unintentionally funny anti-gay activists in the country. My favorite part of the picture? The fact that it’s partially black and white, partially in color. Either Dave Daubenmire Instagrams his “footage” or he really spends quite a lot of time in the darkroom with these images before releasing them to the public. Another Porno Pete in the making!

one of its founders fulfilled his commitment to make a huge $100,000 donation to assure Maine enacts sodomy-based “marriage”

Wait, so if gay marriages are “sodomy-based,” then are Porno Pete’s, Dave Daubenmire’s and Mike Heath’s marriages “vaginal intercourse-based?” Every fiber of my being doubts it.

 I’ve been told hundreds of times in the past decade by churches, individuals and businesses in Maine that they cannot give money to defend marriage because it will hurt them.

Yeah, well, regular people don’t have your issues, Mike. In fact, they’re creeped out by fixations such as yours. Keep talking, as much as possible. It helps us.

Now is, of course, not the time to soften our message.  It is, in fact, the time to abandon the pro-family politicking of the past four or five decades and simply tell the truth.

Yeah, dude, “God Hates Fags” in plain English is always a great selling point. Just ask the Westboro folks, when they’re not busy having their protests destroyed by military families and bikers.

A good place to start is this sermon by Saint John Chrysostom.  He calls this whole issue “monstrous insaneness.”

TL;DR, and nobody else will either. I say it all the time, but once again, boys: update your resumes, as you have long lost the fight you are still, for whatever reason, wasting your lives on. You only get one life. For your sakes, and for your family’s sakes, you really ought to try to do something worthwhile.