Baltimore Ravens’ Matt Birk is upset because his teammate, Brendon Ayanbadejo, recently spoke out in favor of marriage equality. Birk, a six-time Pro Bowl selection who is the Ravens’ current center, writes in the Star Tribune:
“Marriage is in trouble right now — admittedly, for many reasons that have little to do with same-sex unions.In the last few years, political forces and a culture of relativism have replaced ‘I am my brother’s keeper’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ with ‘live and let live’ and ‘if it feels good, go ahead and do it.’The effects of no-fault divorce, adultery, and the nonchalant attitude toward marriage by some have done great harm to this sacred institution. How much longer do we put the desires of adults before the needs of kids? Why are we not doing more to lift up and strengthen the institution of marriage?”
So, Birk demands that the LGBT community be his personal Jesus Christ – condemned to suffer for the relationship sins of heterosexuals? Sorry Matt, but you and other heterosexual supremacists should get your act together and stop punishing my relationship because you and your friends are fond of screwing around on your wives and divorcing them for younger models. But thanks for acknowledging the obvious: The failure of heterosexual families “have little to do with same-sex unions.”
It is interesting to see Birk cloak his bigotry in the guise of caring about the kids. However, what he is really doing is putting his own selfish desire to promote his backward religious beliefs over the welfare of children. How many thousands of children growing up in same-sex households will be made fun of, humiliated, and bullied because of this football star’s ignorant commentary? So, much for caring about the kids.
Claiming his opinion “is not meant as an offense to any person or group,” Birk opines:
“Same-sex unions may not affect my marriage specifically, but it will affect my children — the next generation. Ideas have consequences, and laws shape culture. Marriage redefinition will affect the broader well-being of children and the welfare of society. As a Christian and a citizen, I am compelled to care about both.
I am speaking out on this issue because it is far too important to remain silent. People who are simply acknowledging the basic reality of marriage between one man and one woman are being labeled as “bigots” and “homophobic.” Aren’t we past that as a society?”
Well, Birk, I am offended and you are offensive. I married my partner a year ago and now — with no provocation — you decide to demean our relationship and others like it, even though you admit earlier that it has no affect on your own relationship. And it is fascinating that you claim that marriage equality has no bearing on your marriage, but it will affect your children?
Huh? Do you think before you write? I’m curious as to why you believe that you have raised kids who won’t be able to navigate the issue and have successful marriages if gays can marry. If my marriage doesn’t hurt you today, then it stands to reason that it won’t harm your children tomorrow. May I suggest a little more faith in your progeny?
Sorry Birk: you are a bigot and you are homophobic. And, no, we aren’t past this as a society — because in this society self-righteous zealots like yourself impose your beliefs and turn others into second class citizens. When my family has the same rights as yours we will be past it. Until then, stop shoving your religion down my throat and forcing people to live according to your church’s rules. If I wanted to belong to your church I’d have a membership card.
To summarize, here is Birk’s argument in its purest form: I’m a heterosexual Christian and you’re not. This makes me superior. Therefore, you will be second class citizens. And you have no right to criticize me for harming you and your family.
Sorry, Birk. It doesn’t work that way.
NOM will be “snapping” him up as a spokesperson in 3…2…1… I gotta Find this guys Twitter. Oh and he sounds very Catholic to me. Maybe not but that is my first impression.
Given the similarities between Birk’s ‘editorial’ and a similar letter by Riley Balling published in the same paper last week, don’t you think it’s possible that NOM already snapped him up?
“Same-sex unions may not affect my marriage specifically, but it will affect my children — the next generation. Ideas have consequences, and laws shape culture. Marriage redefinition will affect the broader well-being of children and the welfare of society. As a Christian and a citizen, I am compelled to care about both.”
Other than the word “redefinition” which is a pretty stupid lie, I agree with this. Well, also that it *will* affect *my* marriage, but that’s not really relevant.
The difference, if I were to say something like this, is that I’d use it to form and/or support actual conclusions instead of filling space.
Also I’d mean it literally instead of as code; I guess that’s important, too.
Has anyone ever come up with convincing, unbiased proof that same-sex marriage hurts children? I keep hearing this argument — “Won’t someone think of the CHILDREN??” — yet I have never seen anyone prove that same-sex marriage is harmful to children in any way, shape or form.
Certainly divorce harms children (I speak from personal experience). Certainly introducing a step-parent harms children. Why aren’t these practices being banned?
…a culture of relativism have replaced ‘I am my brother’s keeper’ (KEEPER DOESN’T MEAN JAILER) and ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ (OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN’T BOTHER WITH THAT ONE HIMSELF) with ‘live and let live’ (SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT!?) and ‘if it feels good, go ahead and do it (IF THEY AREN’T HURTING ANYONE ELSE WHAT BUSINESS IS THAT OF HIS).
Nothing but a bunch of self-contradictory crap.
The “I’m just stating my opinion” and “Let’s agree to disagree” lines are become more popular and even more tiresome. They are acting like they are sitting in an ivory tower and having a polite, purely theoretical debate. They aren’t admitting that this is about the lives of real people who are affected in very direct and drastic ways. In that case, no, there isn’t a nice debate to be had after which you can just disagree and do nothing.
The worst part of it is that Birk runs a charity for at-risk children.
You mean kids that are at-risk partly because people like Birk work to deny their LGBT parents the benefits afforded through marriage?
PJB863, my experience was different. My parents’ divorce improved my life, and then the introduction of a step-parent further improved my life. Sometimes the worst thing for children is for their biological parents to remain married. Certainly, divorce is generally difficult for children, but I don’t think it’s so much the divorce that’s the problem as it is the dysfunction marriage that leads to the divorce.
The mantra that every child needs a mom and a dad is mindless nonsense. What children really need are two parents who love each other, and love and nurture their children.
@Richard Rush, its not that kids specifically need two and only two parents of whatever gender, its that they need adults in their lives who love and care for them, whether it’s a single parent or an extended family and friends. That is pretty much what adults need as well, support and love.
Richard, I don’t disagree that this arrangement can’t work, and sometimes it does, to the credit of the parties involved. In my case, it introduced a highly abusive step-parent, who apparently convinced the biological parent (my father) that this behavior was normal and desirable.
But, perhaps anecdotally, I see many accounts of single mothers introducing a step father or boyfriend, who commmits brutal acts against (mostly male) young stepchildren, sometimes resulting in the death of these children. In the case of stepmothers, if there are biological children of her own, the husband’s children suffer.
I don’t know if there have been studies conducted, but it’s my gut feeling based on my experience and observations.
Let’s just hope this bigot does not have any gay children! Those are the type of children that are “harmed” by homophobes…
PJB863, sadly, I suspect that more children of divorce/stepparents have experiences closer to yours than to mine. And I personally know a few who had very abusive experiences.
Riva, you said it more correctly than I did. I personally observed a single mother’s child grow up where several adult family members were very active in nurturing that child into becoming an exceptional adult.